No Longer Human Osamu Dazai


me that prison life might actually be pleasanter than groaning away my



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No-Longer-Human-PDF

me that prison life might actually be pleasanter than groaning away my
sleepless nights in a hellish dread of the "realities of life" as led by
human beings.
Even when my father and I were living in the same house, he was
kept so busy receiving guests or going out that sometimes three or four
days elapsed without our seeing each other. This, however, did not
make his presence any the less oppressive and intimidating. I was just
thinking (without as yet daring to propose it) how I would like to leave
the house and find lodgings elsewhere, when I learned from our old
caretaker that my father apparently intended to sell the house.
Father's term of office as a member of the Diet would soon expire
and—doubtless for many reasons—he seemed to have no intention of
standing for election again. Perhaps (I do not pretend to understand
my father's thoughts any better than those of a stranger) he had
decided to build a retreat somewhere at home.
He never had felt much affection for Tokyo and he must have
concluded that it was pointless to maintain a house with servants just
for the convenience of a mere college student like myself. At any rate,
the house was sold before long and I moved to a gloomy room in an old
lodging house in Hon go where I was immediately beset by financial
worries.


My father had been giving me a fixed allowance for spending money
each month. It would disappear in two or three days' time, but there
had always been cigarettes, liquor and fruit in the house, and other
things—books, stationery, and anything in the way of clothing—could
be charged at shops in the neighborhood. As long as it was one of the

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