No Longer Human Osamu Dazai


times that people slip in dark, unlighted bathrooms and fall into the



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times that people slip in dark, unlighted bathrooms and fall into the
toilet, or the percentage of passengers who get their feet caught in the
space between the door of a subway train and the edge of the platform,
or other such footling exercises in probability. These events seem
entirely within the bounds of possibility, but I have never heard a single
instance of anyone hurting himself by falling into the toilet. I felt pity
and contempt For the self which until yesterday had accepted such
hypothetical situations as eminently factual scientific truths and was
terrified by them. This shows the degree to which I had bit by bit
arrived at a knowledge of the real nature of what is called the world.
Having said that, I must now admit that I was still afraid of human
beings, and before I could meet even the customers in the bar I bad to
fortify myself by gulping down a glass of liquor. The desire to see
frightening things—that was what drew me every night to the bar
where, like the child who squeezes his pet all the harder when he
actually fears it a little, I proclaimed to the customers standing at the
bar my drunken, bungling theories of art.
A comic strip artist, and at that an unknown one, knowing no great
joys nor, for that matter, any great sorrows. I craved desperately some


great savage joy, no matter how immense the suffering that might
ensue, hut my only actual pleasure was to engage in meaningless
chatter with the customers and to drink their liquor.
Close to a year had gone by since I took up this debased life in the
bar in Kyobashi. My cartoons were no longer confined to the children's
magazines, but now appeared also in the cheap, pornographic

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