100 Ways to Motivate Others : How Great Leaders Can Produce Insane Results Without Driving People Crazy

The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality.
—Max DePree, Business Consultant/Author
We once worked with a group of managers who man-
aged various teams in a company plagued with low mo-
rale. The teams were grumbling, and exulting in victim
language.

---

/
107
But once we suggested different words and language
for the managers to use in team meetings, everything be-
gan to change. Their people became more self-motivated.
As the psychological turnaround advanced, the man-
agers began to open their meetings by asking who had an
acknowledgment—“Who would like to acknowledge some-
one else right now?”—and the talk began to swing to ap-
preciation, instead of to complaint and criticism. And all
of a sudden, the mood of the meetings changed.
Instead of focusing on problems, and getting stuck there,
the leaders would learn to say, “What opportunities do you
see?” And just by saying that enough times, a different kind
of energy would emerge. Different than the low-morale days
when the leaders used to say, “What are the problems? What
do we have to get through? Who’s to blame?”
When managers asked, “What can we get from this?”
results changed faster.
“We had a tough week last week. Let’s go around the
table. What can we learn from that? What are some new
systems we might put in? If that comes up again, what
would be a great way of dealing with it? How can we have
fun with this in the future?”
The managers got the victim language out of their sys-
tems. They got stronger by using, “What do we want?
What’s our intention? What’s our goal? What outcome
would we love to see?” Every time victim language was
replaced by the language of intention, different results
occurred. Some of the most dramatic results:
1. Turnover decreased.
2. Absenteeism decreased.
3. Spirit and morale improved.
4. Productivity increased.
Lead With Language

---

108
/ 100 Ways to Motivate Others
And all that happened with language.
Words mean things. Words that form thoughts create
things. Ancient scriptures say, “In the beginning, there
was the word.” And there’s a lot of modern-day truth to
that. Words start things going. Change a single word in
what you say, and you can scare a child. One scary word
can make a child shake and cry. Change that word back,
and the child is fine. Words communicate pictures, en-
ergy, emotions, possibilities, and fears.
Words can scare an employee, too.
Sometimes victims try to be leaders, but can’t. That’s
because they think they ought to do it. But the leadership
spirit is not accessed that way. It’s a graceful spirit, not a
heavy burden.
This type of language won’t get you there: “I 
should
be more of a leader.”
Any time a victim finds out about leadership language,
and then says, “You know, I really should be more of a
leader,” that’s simply more victim language! That drives
the person deeper down into victim feelings.
Why should you be more of a leader?
“Well, I guess people would like me more. They would
approve of me more.”
Who cares what other people think? What do 
you
want?
Leadership is based on personal, internal intention.
It’s living a life that has clarity of purpose at the center of
it. Victimization is not based on intention. Victimization
is based on being a victim of circumstance and other
people’s opinion. The victim is constantly obsessed with
what other people think.

---

/
109
“Well, what would my wife think if I did that? What
would my kids think? What would my boss think? What
would the people think if they saw me singing in my car? If
a person pulls up next to me, what’s he gonna think?”
Obsessing about what other people think throughout
the day is the fastest way to lose your enthusiasm for life.
It’s the fastest way to lose that basic energy that gets ev-
erything done that you’ve ever been proud of. You notice
that children don’t seem to have that worry. Most chil-
dren, when they’re in the middle of something they really
love, seem to forget that anybody is watching them, and
even forget that there’s a world out there. They just get
swept away. Good leaders do the same thing.
41. Use Positive
Reinforcement