The ministry of higher and secondary special education of the republic of uzbekistan

 
IT ONLY MADE THINGS WORSE 
 
A husband said to his friend: “My wife doesn’t allow me to sleep. She is afraid of 
thieves and wakes me up if she hears the slightest noise and makes me get up to see if 
there are burglars in the house.” “You can easily get over that difficulty. Just explain to 
your wife; they work quietly and don’t disturb anybody.” “I have already done that, old 
man, but it only made things worse. Now she gets me up every night because she hears 
nothing.” 
 
 
 
THE PRESCRIPTION ON THE DOOR 
 
Once there lived a farmer. He had a wife and a lot of children. From early morning till 
late at night he worked on his field. His wife laboured about the house, the garden and the 
orchard. The children helped their parents as much as they could.
One day the farmer’s wife fell ill. The doctor was sent for. The doctor came to examine 
the patient. He felt her pulse, examined her throat, felt her heart and lungs, and diagnosed 
the case as flu. The doctor asked for a piece of paper to write the prescription on. But there 
wasn’t paper in the house, so the farmer went to his neighbour for some paper. But he was 
absent for a long time. The doctor waited for some time, but as he was short of time he 
took a piece of coal and wrote the prescription on the door.
When the farmer returned, the doctor was gone. As neither the farmer, nor his wife, nor 
their children could write and there was no one to copy out the prescription the farmer 
took the door off its hinges and carried it to the chemists. This way the farmer had the 
prescription made up and his wife took the medicine and recovered soon. 
MARK TWAIN IN FRANCE 
Mark Twain, the famous American writer, was travelling in France. Once he was going 
by train to Dijon. That afternoon he was very tired and wanted to sleep. He therefore asked 
the conductor to wake him up when they came to Dijon. But first he explained that he was 
a very heavy sleeper. “I’ll probably protest loudly when you try to wake me up,” he said to 
the conductor. “But do not take notice, just put me off the train anyway.” 
Then Mark Twain went to sleep. Later, when he woke up, it was night – time and the 
train was in Paris already. He realized at once that the conductor had forgotten to wake 

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him up at Dijon. He was very angry. He ran up to the conductor and began to shout at him. 
“I’ve never been so angry in my life,” Mark Twain said.
The conductor looked at him calmly. “You are not half so angry as the American whom 
I put off the train at Dijon,” he said.
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