George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication

jests and compliments). How can you?
RICHARD
. You promised to be silent.
BURGOYNE 
(to Judith, with studied courtesy). Believe me,

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54
The Devil’s Disciple
madam, your husband is placing us under the greatest obli-
gation by taking this very disagreeable business so thoroughly
in the spirit of a gentleman. Sergeant: give Mr. Anderson a
chair. (The sergeant does so. Richard sits down.) Now, Major
Swindon: we are waiting for you.
SWINDON
. You are aware, I presume, Mr. Anderson, of
your obligations as a subject of His Majesty King George the
Third.
RICHARD
. I am aware, sir, that His Majesty King George
the Third is about to hang me because I object to Lord North’s
robbing me.
SWINDON
. That is a treasonable speech, sir.
RICHARD 
(briefly). Yes. I meant it to be.
BURGOYNE 
(strongly deprecating this line of defence, but still
polite). Don’t you think, Mr. Anderson, that this is rather—
if you will excuse the word—a vulgar line to take? Why should
you cry out robbery because of a stamp duty and a tea duty
and so forth? After all, it is the essence of your position as a
gentleman that you pay with a good grace.
RICHARD
. It is not the money, General. But to be swindled
by a pig-headed lunatic like King George
SWINDON 
(scandalised). Chut, sir—silence!
SERGEANT 
(in stentorian tones, greatly shocked). Silence!
BURGOYNE 
(unruffled). Ah, that is another point of view.
My position does not allow of my going into that, except in
private. But (shrugging his shoulders) of course, Mr. Ander-
son, if you are determined to be hanged (Judith flinches),
there’s nothing more to be said. An unusual taste! however
(with a final shrug)—!
SWINDON 
(to Burgoyne). Shall we call witnesses?
RICHARD
. What need is there of witnesses? If the towns-
people here had listened to me, you would have found the
streets barricaded, the houses loopholed, and the people in
arms to hold the town against you to the last man. But you
arrived, unfortunately, before we had got out of the talking
stage; and then it was too late.
SWINDON 
(severely). Well, sir, we shall teach you and your
townspeople a lesson they will not forget. Have you any-
thing more to say?
RICHARD
. I think you might have the decency to treat me
as a prisoner of war, and shoot me like a man instead of
hanging me like a dog.

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55
GB Shaw
BURGOYNE 
(sympathetically). Now there, Mr. Anderson,
you talk like a civilian, if you will excuse my saying so. Have
you any idea of the average marksmanship of the army of
His Majesty King George the Third? If we make you up a
firing party, what will happen? Half of them will miss you:
the rest will make a mess of the business and leave you to the
provo-marshal’s pistol. Whereas we can hang you in a per-
fectly workmanlike and agreeable way. (Kindly) Let me per-
suade you to be hanged, Mr. Anderson?
JUDITH 
(sick with horror). My God!
RICHARD 
(to Judith). Your promise! (To Burgoyne) Thank
you, General: that view of the case did not occur to me be-
fore. To oblige you, I withdraw my objection to the rope.
Hang me, by all means.
BURGOYNE 
(smoothly). Will 12 o’clock suit you, Mr.
Anderson?
RICHARD
. I shall be at your disposal then, General.
BURGOYNE 
(rising). Nothing more to be said, gentlemen.
(They all rise.)
JUDITH 
(rushing to the table). Oh, you are not going to
murder a man like that, without a proper trial—without
thinking of what you are doing—without— (She cannot find
words.)
RICHARD
. Is this how you keep your promise?
JUDITH
. If I am not to speak, you must. Defend yourself:
save yourself: tell them the truth.
RICHARD 
(worriedly). I have told them truth enough to
hang me ten times over. If you say another word you will
risk other lives; but you will not save mine.
BURGOYNE
. My good lady, our only desire is to save un-
pleasantness. What satisfaction would it give you to have a
solemn fuss made, with my friend Swindon in a black cap
and so forth? I am sure we are greatly indebted to the admi-
rable tact and gentlemanly feeling shown by your husband.
JUDITH 
(throwing the words in his face). Oh, you are mad.
Is it nothing to you what wicked thing you do if only you do
it like a gentleman? Is it nothing to you whether you are a
murderer or not, if only you murder in a red coat? (Desper-