George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication

startling voice). Where is the man who brought these?
SERGEANT
. In the guard-room, sir.
Burgoyne goes out with a haste that sets the officers exchanging
looks.
SWINDON 
(to Christy). Do you know Anthony Anderson,
the Presbyterian minister?
CHRISTY
. Of course I do. (Implying that Swindon must be
an ass not to know it.)
SWINDON
. Is he here?

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58
The Devil’s Disciple
CHRISTY 
(staring round). I don’t know.
SWINDON
. Do you see him?
CHRISTY
. No.
SWINDON
. You seem to know the prisoner?
CHRISTY
. Do you mean Dick?
SWINDON
. Which is Dick?
CHRISTY 
(pointing to Richard). Him.
SWINDON
. What is his name?
CHRISTY
. Dick.
RICHARD
. Answer properly, you jumping jackass. What
do they know about Dick?
CHRISTY
. Well, you are Dick, ain’t you? What am I to say?
SWINDON
. Address me, sir; and do you, prisoner, be si-
lent. Tell us who the prisoner is.
CHRISTY
. He’s my brother Dudgeon.
SWINDON
. Your brother!
CHRISTY
. Yes.
SWINDON
. You are sure he is not Anderson.
CHRISTY
. Who?
RICHARD 
(exasperatedly). Me, me, me, you—
SWINDON
. Silence, sir.
SERGEANT 
(shouting). Silence.
RICHARD 
(impatiently). Yah! (To Christy) He wants to know
am I Minister Anderson. Tell him, and stop grinning like a
zany.
CHRISTY 
(grinning more than ever). You Pastor Anderson!
(To Swindon) Why, Mr. Anderson’s a minister—a very good
man; and Dick’s a bad character: the respectable people won’t
speak to him. He’s the bad brother: I’m the good one, (The
officers laugh outright. The soldiers grin.)
SWINDON
. Who arrested this man?
SERGEANT
. I did, sir. I found him in the minister’s house,

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59
GB Shaw
sitting at tea with the lady with his coat off, quite at home. If
he isn’t married to her, he ought to be.
SWINDON
. Did he answer to the minister’s name?
SERGEANT
. Yes sir, but not to a minister’s nature. You ask
the chaplain, sir.
SWINDON 
(to Richard, threateningly). So, sir, you have at-
tempted to cheat us. And your name is Richard Dudgeon?
RICHARD
. You’ve found it out at last, have you?
SWINDON
. Dudgeon is a name well known to us, eh?
RICHARD
. Yes: Peter Dudgeon, whom you murdered, was
my uncle.
SWINDON
. Hm! (He compresses his lips and looks at Rich-
ard with vindictive gravity.)
CHRISTY
. Are they going to hang you, Dick?
RICHARD
. Yes. Get out: they’ve done with you.
CHRISTY
. And I may keep the china peacocks?
RICHARD 
(jumping up). Get out. Get out, you blithering
baboon, you. (Christy flies, panicstricken.)
SWINDON 
(rising—all rise). Since you have taken the
minister’s place, Richard Dudgeon, you shall go through with
it. The execution will take place at 12 o’clock as arranged;
and unless Anderson surrenders before then you shall take
his place on the gallows. Sergeant: take your man out.
JUDITH 
(distracted). No, no—
SWINDON 
(fiercely, dreading a renewal of her entreaties).
Take that woman away.
RICHARD 
(springing across the table with a tiger-like bound,
and seizing Swindon by the throat). You infernal scoundrel