George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication
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Guinness returns with the tea-tray, which she places on the teak
table]. I have a second daughter who is, thank God, in a remote part of the Empire with her numskull of a husband. As a child she thought the figure-head of my ship, the Daunt- less, the most beautiful thing on earth. He resembled it. He had the same expression: wooden yet enterprising. She mar- ried him, and will never set foot in this house again. NURSE GUINNESS [carrying the table, with the tea-things on it, to Ellie’s side]. Indeed you never were more mistaken. She is in England this very moment. You have been told three times this week that she is coming home for a year for her health. And very glad you should be to see your own daughter again after all these years. THE CAPTAIN . I am not glad. The natural term of the af- fection of the human animal for its offspring is six years. My daughter Ariadne was born when I was forty-six. I am now eighty-eight. If she comes, I am not at home. If she wants anything, let her take it. If she asks for me, let her be informed that I am extremely old, and have totally forgotten her. NURSE GUINNESS . That’s no talk to offer to a young lady. Here, ducky, have some tea; and don’t listen to him [she pours out a cup of tea]. THE CAPTAIN [rising wrathfully]. Now before high heaven they have given this innocent child Indian tea: the stuff they 42 Heartbreak House tan their own leather insides with. [He seizes the cup and the tea-pot and empties both into the leathern bucket]. ELLIE [almost in tears]. Oh, please! I am so tired. I should have been glad of anything. NURSE GUINNESS . Oh, what a thing to do! The poor lamb is ready to drop. THE CAPTAIN . You shall have some of my tea. Do not touch that fly-blown cake: nobody eats it here except the dogs. [He disappears into the pantry]. NURSE GUINNESS . There’s a man for you! They say he sold himself to the devil in Zanzibar before he was a captain; and the older he grows the more I believe them. A WOMAN’S VOICE [in the hall]. Is anyone at home? Hesione! Nurse! Papa! Do come, somebody; and take in my luggage. Thumping heard, as of an umbrella, on the wainscot. NURSE GUINNESS . My gracious! It’s Miss Addy, Lady Utterword, Mrs Hushabye’s sister: the one I told the captain about. [Calling]. Coming, Miss, coming. She carries the table back to its place by the door and is harrying out when she is intercepted by Lady Utterword, who bursts in much flustered. Lady Utterword, a blonde, is very handsome, very well dressed, and so precipitate in speech and action that the first impression (erroneous) is one of comic silliness. LADY UTTERWORD . Oh, is that you, Nurse? How are you? You don’t look a day older. Is nobody at home? Where is Hesione? Doesn’t she expect me? Where are the servants? Whose luggage is that on the steps? Where’s papa? Is every- body asleep? [Seeing Ellie]. Oh! I beg your pardon. I suppose you are one of my nieces. [Approaching her with outstretched arms]. Come and kiss your aunt, darling. ELLIE . I’m only a visitor. It is my luggage on the steps. NURSE GUINNESS . I’ll go get you some fresh tea, ducky. [She takes up the tray]. ELLIE . But the old gentleman said he would make some himself. NURSE GUINNESS . Bless you! he’s forgotten what he went for already. His mind wanders from one thing to another. LADY UTTERWORD . Papa, I suppose? |