+ Task response:
You wrote 270 words, which is long enough! Aim for 260-290 words to be
safe. Less than 250 words will lose lots of marks. Your first paragraph
paraphrases the whole question. Your points are all relevant and well
supported with
examples and explanations
+ Coherence and cohesion:
There is a clear overall progression in the writing and ideas are well
organized. Paragraphs and sentences are very well constructed. Good topic
sentences. You have used a range of linkers throughout the essay.
+ Lexical resource:
The range of vocabulary is very good and there is flexibility in use. “Good
vocabulary”
guarantee a successful career, to live independently, pursuing
higher education, to obtain a lot of real experience, progress rapidly, to meet
academic qualifications
+ Grammatical range and accuracy:
You use a range of structures accurately and there is a good range of
structures. No errors detected.
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THESIS LED ESSAY
The thesis-led essay is different.
You are a lawyer
, not a judge.
You are not
looking at both sides. You
are only looking at one side
. Likewise,
give the
reader the context of the background
. The first sentence of these essays
(argument led and thesis led)
could look exactly the same. But
where it is
different in
the thesis led is that
we need a personal opinion
. We need to
know that you’ve already made a decision about what you think. Can you
give the reader an impersonal opinion? Can you give one? Yes, you can, but
you have to
make sure that you will give
me a personal opinion
. So it is ok
for you to say
“some people think going abroad brings advantages. However,
I believe that it causes a lot of problems.”
Then, what do you do?
Body paragraphs will be a little bit different
. In an
argument led, you will have 2 paragraphs.
One is about advantages, the other
one might be about disadvantages. If we talk about the advantages of
studying abroad, we might talk about education,
we can talk about new
cultures, and we can talk about the chance to be more mature. You can talk
all of those in one body paragraph in an argument led. However,
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