Power Questions: Build Relationships, Win New Business, and Influence Others

Suggestions for How to Use This Question
“How will this further your mission and
goals?”
Our mission and goals are absolutely at the heart of who we are and who we want to be.
This is true at both an institutional and personal level. Yet, we often stray from them.
We get engrossed in our day-to-day lives, and we lose sight of the forest for the trees. It
happens because it is very human to be drawn into things that fulfill our hunger for
achievement, wealth, power, and fame. But these don't often nurture our hearts and
souls.
When to use the question
When you see someone doing things that are inconsistent with their core mission.
When someone is making a decision to invest significant time and resources in a
new direction.
When you suspect the other person has not thought through what their mission
and goals really are.

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Alternative versions of the question
“Can you remind me of your mission and goals?”
“Is this consistent with your values and beliefs?”
Follow-up questions
“Why or why not?”
“Are there other ideas or initiatives you're considering that would also support
your mission—which also merit consideration?”

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6
Get Out of Your Cave
Just imagine. You have been robbed of your freedom. You can no longer
experience the warm glow of sunshine. Your comfortable house is gone.
Instead, you live in a totally dark cave. It is dreadfully dank. The
temperature never rises above 55 degrees.
For just a moment, entertain this idea and engage in what Coleridge
called “that willing suspension of disbelief.”
Just imagine. You have been chained inside that cave all of your life,
facing an inner wall. Behind you is a bonfire. It casts its light onto the wall.
Because of the chains, you cannot turn and look at the source of the light.
You can only look at the wall in front of you.
You spend your days watching shadows projected on the wall by people
and things passing in front of the fire that's behind you. The shadows dance
and move. You ascribe meaning to these shadows. You interpret their
movements. You guess at who is casting them. The shadows are as close as
you ever get to viewing the reality outside your dim corner of the cave.
What conclusions about life do you draw, based on seeing these shadows?
You can only see projections of reality against the cave wall, not the real
thing. Are you aware of how poor your perception really is? How little you
understand about what's going on in the world, chained as you are to the
wall?
A bizarre, creepy scenario? Or is this an accurate metaphor for how
limited our true understanding of life around us is?
The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates describes this as the “Allegory of
the Cave.” You find it in Plato's Dialogues. The Dialogues are a series of
conversations between Plato and his old teacher, Socrates. Socrates says a
philosopher is like a prisoner who is freed from the cave and can now see
reality as it truly is.

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In a sense, power questions are our tool for helping to see the true reality
around us instead of shadowy representations of it. Your spouse describes
an incident involving one of your children. Is this description objective? A
co-worker presents an investment proposal in an area you are not deeply
knowledgeable about. How accurate is the assessment?
In both cases you are really seeing only the shadows—you are being
given a filtered and biased view of what the other person thinks has
happened or will happen.
We are, in essence, no different from the prisoners who are chained to the
wall of the cave in Socrates's allegory. We experience life through filters.
Socrates lived in ancient Greece. He was a master at asking power
questions. Instead of lecturing, he taught by posing his students a series of
thought-provoking questions. Through these, he engaged his students’
minds in the learning process. He uncovered their assumptions. He slowly
but surely got to the heart of the issue.
Socrates would start a class by asking “What is virtue?” or “What is
good?” We use these words all the time. But do we really know what they
mean? Today, many universities around the world use the “Socratic
Method” in their teaching—one of the most famous of these is Harvard
Business School.
Socrates summed up this method very clearly. He said, “The highest form
of Human Excellence is to question oneself and others.”
Socrates was a vocal critic of Athenian society and government. He was
eventually sentenced to death for his perceived attacks on the ruling classes.
Without a struggle, he drank a cup of poison hemlock. It gradually reached
his heart and he died, leaving his enduring reputation as one of the greatest
philosophers in history.
Socrates surely lived his life attuned to his oft-quoted statement, “The
unexamined life is not worth living.”
You can use the Socratic method to great effect in your day-to-day work
and personal life. How can you be more Socrates-like? First, start with
questions rather than statements, assertions, or commands.
Consider these examples:
Instead of: “We need to improve our customer service!”

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Try: “How would you assess our customer service levels today?” or,
“How is our service impacting our customer retention?”
Instead of: “You know, if you don't get a job this summer, we're not
paying you an allowance.”
Try: “What ideas do you have for what you'd like to do this summer?” or,
“I'm interested to hear about how your job search is going. What are you
looking into?”
Instead of: “I'm fed up with your anger.”
Try: “When you get angry, how do you think it affects your relationships
with the people closest to you?”
Second, ask fundamental questions about the things that everyone else
takes for granted—questions that will, perhaps surprise others.
For example, someone at work says, “We need more innovation.” Ask,
“Can you describe what innovation means to you?” When there is a call for
more teamwork, ask, “What do you mean when you say ‘teamwork’?”
You're with a friend who says they want more work-life balance. Ask this
friend, “What is work-life balance for you?” Someone says, “I don't trust
him.” You might respond, “Why not? What is trust for you in this
situation?”
Questions like these will result in deep, rewarding conversations that
engage others and make them think. You'll develop a reputation as a wise
shepherd—a leader who gently moves people in the right direction rather
than imposing your views on them.
Adopt the Socratic mindset and get out of your cave! Question
assumptions. Question the very definition of words that others take for
granted. Use questions to launch those around you on an invigorating
journey of learning and discovery.