Identity Shifts and Reciprocity Reversals
This raises a fundamental question: does a generalized giving system like Freecycle or the
Reciprocity Ring motivate takers to become better fakers, or can it actually turn takers into givers? In
some ways, I’d say the motives don’t matter: it’s the behavior itself that counts. If takers are acting in
ways that benefit others, even if the motives are primarily selfish rather than selfless or otherish,
they’re making contributions that sustain generalized giving as a form of exchange.
That said, if we ignore motives altogether, we overlook the risk that takers will decrease their
giving as soon as they’re out of the spotlight. In one study conducted by Chinese researchers, more
than three hundred
bank tellers
were considered for a promotion. The managers rated how frequently
each bank teller had engaged in giving behaviors like helping others with heavy workloads and
volunteering for tasks that weren’t required as part of their jobs. Based on giving behavior, the
managers promoted seventy of the bank tellers.
Over the next three months, the managers came to regret promoting more than half of the tellers.
Of the seventy tellers who were promoted, thirty-three were genuine givers: they sustained their
giving after the promotion. The other thirty-seven tellers declined rapidly in their giving. They were
fakers: in the three months before the promotion, they knew they were being watched, so they went out
of their way to help others. But after they got promoted, they reduced their giving by an average of 23
percent each.
What would it take to nudge people in the giving direction? When Harvard dean Thomas Dingman
saw that Harvard students valued compassion but thought others didn’t, he decided to do something
about it. For the first time in the university’s four centuries, Harvard freshmen were invited to sign a
pledge to serve society. The pledge concluded: “As we begin at Harvard, we commit to upholding the
values of the College and to making the entryway and Yard a place where all can thrive and where the
exercise of kindness holds a place on a par with intellectual attainment.”
Believing in the power of a public commitment, Dingman decided to go one step beyond inviting
students to sign the pledge. To encourage students to follow through, their signatures would be framed
in the hallways of campus dorms. A storm of objections quickly emerged, most notably from Harry
Lewis, a computer science professor and the former dean of Harvard College. “An appeal for
kindness is entirely appropriate,” Lewis responded. “I agree that the exercise of personal kindness in
this community is too often wanting,” he wrote on his blog, but “for Harvard to ‘invite’ people to
pledge to kindness is unwise, and
sets a terrible precedent
.”
Is Lewis right?
In a series of experiments led by NYU psychologist Peter Gollwitzer, people who went public
with their intentions to engage in an identity-relevant behavior were significantly less likely to engage
in the behavior than people who kept their intentions private.
When people made their identity plans
known to others
, they were able to claim the identity without actually following through on the
behavior. By signing the kindness pledge, Harvard students would be able to establish an image as
givers without needing to act like givers.
Dingman quickly dropped the idea of posting signatures publicly. But even then, evidence
suggests that privately signing a kindness pledge
might backfire
. In one experiment, Northwestern
University psychologists randomly assigned people to write about themselves using either giver terms
like caring, generous, and kind or neutral terms like book, keys, and house. After the participants
filled out another questionnaire, a researcher asked them if they wanted to donate money to a charity
of their choosing. Those who wrote about themselves as givers donated an average of two and a half
times less money than those who wrote about themselves with neutral words. “I’m a giving person,”
they told themselves, “so I don’t have to donate this time.” The kindness pledge might have a similar
effect on Harvard students. When they sign the pledge, they establish credentials as givers, which may
grant them a psychological license to give less—or take more.
When we’re trying to influence someone, we often adopt an approach that mirrors the Harvard
pledge: we start by changing their attitudes, hoping that their behaviors are likely to march in the same
direction. If we get people to sign a statement that they’ll act like givers, they’ll come to believe that
giving is important, and then they’ll give. But according to a rich body of psychological detective
work, this reasoning is backward. Influence is far more powerful in the opposite direction: change
people’s behaviors first, and their attitudes often follow. To turn takers into givers, it’s often
necessary to convince them to start giving. Over time, if the conditions are right, they’ll come to see
themselves as givers.
This didn’t happen to the bank tellers in China: even after three months of helping colleagues,
once they got promoted, they stopped giving. Over the past thirty-five years, research launched by
Batson and his colleagues shows that when people give, if they can
attribute it to an external reason
like a promotion, they don’t start to think of themselves as givers. But when people repeatedly make
the personal choice to give to others, they start to internalize giving as part of their identities. For
some people, this happens through an active process of cognitive dissonance: once I’ve made the
voluntary decision to give, I can’t change the behavior, so the easiest way to stay consistent and avoid
hypocrisy is to decide that I’m a giver. For other people, the internalization process is one of learning
from observing their own behaviors.
To paraphrase the writer
E. M. Forster, “How do I know who I
am until I see what I do?”
In support of this idea, studies of volunteering show that even when people join a volunteer
organization to advance their own careers, the longer they serve and the more time they give, the more
they begin to view the volunteering role as an
important aspect of their identities
. Once that happens,
they start to experience a common identity with the people they’re helping, and they become givers in
that role. Research documents a similar process inside companies: as people make voluntary
decisions to help colleagues and customers beyond the scope of their jobs, they come to see
themselves as organizational citizens.
*
Part of the wisdom behind Freecycle and the Reciprocity Ring is that both of these generalized
giving systems encourage giving while maintaining a sense of free choice. Although there’s a strong
norm of giving, it’s entirely up to each participant to decide what to give and whom to help. When my
Wharton class went through the Reciprocity Ring, as different students chose their own ways to give
and peers to help, a distinctive common identity began to develop. “This is a unique group of people
at Wharton that cares about each other,” one student said. Although the students were competing for
the same jobs in management consulting and investment banking, they started helping one another
prepare for interviews, sharing tips and offering advice. After the class ended, a group of students
took the initiative to start an alumni listserv so that they could continue helping one another.
According to one student, “because of the emphasis on the benefit of giving and helping in our shared
community, I’d be far more comfortable and likely to ask for (and probably receive) help from a
random member of the alumni group than my other groups.”
At the end of the semester, the cynical student who had questioned whether there were any givers
at Wharton quietly approached me. “Somehow,” he said, “everyone in the class became intrinsically
motivated to give, and it transcends the class itself.”
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