This essay would likely
get 6
in the real exam, if only the essay was relevant with more extended paragraphs, the essay
would otherwise stand at a band 6.5.
Comment [M1]: No offence, I did not check
this essay paying my undivided attention ,rather had
a glance over some mistakes that have to be
avoided later in the future.
Endurance of Criminalizing ??
Look up the word ‘to criminalize’ and you will
understand what a costly mistake you have
done(LRA)
Comment [M3]: The question title says
‘Some
countries are struggling with some increase in
crime rates’ and it is not a SITUATION, it can be a
trend or a problem itself. The word situation does
not accurately match the context you wrote the
word in.(LRA)
Comment [M4]: The word
to satisfy is not used
with the preposition with in this context. ‘to satisfy
their needs’ to cover their daily expenses’ would
best describe what you meant to write. ( mistakes
in LRA/CC ) not being able to use a word accurately
(LRA) results in you not being able to express your
points accurately, it will cause you a lower band
score in terms of both LRA/CC
Comment [M5]: (LRA) you wrote the word
‘nearly’ instead of
‘hardly’ or ‘barely’ . (LRA)
No capitalization is needed. You
can omit the word ‘AND’(omit dagani, uchrp
tashash, yazmasliq, qaldrp getish)
Comment [M7]: This paragraph
does not really
cover the question asked in the essay,
you failed to
extend your answer and this paragraph is nothing
but a total generalization, lacking both idea
development and explain/example.
Comment [M8]: You are not writing a thesis
dissertation nor a 1000 –page review , avoid these
kinds of words, they do not make a sense in an IELTS
essay.
You have failed to use
‘punctuation’ and it is a GRA mistake not a LRA one.
