Special education of the republic of uzbekistan



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Asking Too Much

An Englishman was driving along a country road in Ireland and met a man carrying a heavy bag.

“Can I take you into town?” the Englishman asked.

The Irishman said, “Thank you,” and got into the car.

In a few minutes the driver saw that the Irishman was sitting with the heavy bag still in his hand.

“Why don’t you put your bag down?” he asked. “Well, “ answered the Irishman, “you’ve given me a ride in your car. I can’t ask you to carry my bag as well.”


***
“You say that I am the first model you ever kissed?”

“Yes.”


“And how many models have you had before me?”

“Four. An apple, two oranges, and a vase of flowers.”


***
Soph: But I don’t think I deserve an absolute zero.

Prof: Neither do I, but it is the lowest mark that I am allowed to give.


***
A young writer sent a number of manuscripts to a celebrated newspaper columnist, asking his advice as to the best channel for marketing the writings. The manuscripts came back with this curt note:

“The one channel I can conscientiously recommend as the greatest outlet for articles of this type is the English Channel.”


5. Read this text as if you were reading it to a) children; b) students


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