particular restaurant, there are four waitresses who have come home with me,
three less attractive waitresses who want to come home with me, and several
more who are works-in-progress (including Stephanie). And you can bet they all
know about each other. But, again, that is very good.
—Zan
The highlight of the seminar was an appearance by two people who would
give me my much-coveted inner game and more: Steve P. and Rasputin.
These were guys I'd heard whispered about in the seduction community
since I'd joined—the true masters; leaders of women, not men.
The first thing they did when they walked onstage was hypnotize every-
body in the room. They both talked at the same time, telling different
stories—one to occupy the conscious mind and the other to penetrate to the
subconscious. When they woke us up, we had no idea what they had in-
stalled in our heads. All we knew was that these were two of the most confi-
dent speakers we'd ever seen. Every ounce of fire and charisma that
DeAngelo lacked, they possessed in bulk.
Wearing a leather vest and an Indiana Jones hat, Steve P. was equal
parts Hell's Angel and Native American shaman. Rasputin was a strip club
bouncer with mutton-chop sideburns who looked like a steroid-jacked
Wolverine. The two had met in a bookstore while both reaching for the
same NLP book. Now they worked as a team and were among the most
powerful hypnotists in the world. Their advice on seducing women was
simply: "Become an expert in how to feel good."
Toward that end, Steve P. had figured out a way to get women to pay to
have sex with him. For anywhere from several hundred to a thousand dol-
lars, he trained women to have orgasms from a single vocal command; he
taught them five different stages of deep throat he had devised; and, most
fantastically, he claimed to give hypnotic breast enlargements, which he
said could make a woman jump as much as two cup sizes.
Rasputin's forte was what he called hypnotic sexual engineering. Sex,
he explained, must be viewed as a privilege for the woman, not a favor to
you. "If a woman wants to give me a blow job," he elaborated, "I tell her,
'You only get three sucks. And you may only go down as far as you receive
pleasure.'" His chest stuck out like the top of a Volkswagen. "Afterward, I
tell her, 'Didn't that feel nice? Next time, you get five sucks.'"
"What if you're scared of getting caught trying to manipulate her?"
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asked a businessman in the front row who looked like a miniature Clark
Kent.
"There is no such thing as fear," Rasputin replied. "Emotions are just
energy and motion that you trap inside your body because of a thought."
Mini-Clark Kent stared at him stupidly.
"Do you know how you get over it?" Rasputin looked at his interlocu-
tor like a wrestler about to break a folding chair in half. "You don't shower
or shave for a month, until you smell like a sewer. Then you walk around
for two weeks wearing a dress and a goalie mask with a dildo strapped to
the front. That's what I did. And I will never be afraid of public humiliation
again."
"You have to live in your own reality," Steve cut in. "I had a girl once tell
me I was kind of pudgy. I said, 'Well, if that's what you think, you don't get
to pat the Buddha belly or ride the jade stalk.'"
He paused, then added as an afterthought, "But I said it in a gentle
fucking way, on the spiritual fucking path."
Afterward, DeAngelo introduced me to the pair. The top of my head
came up to Rasputin's Volkswagen.
"I'd love to learn more about what you do," I said.
"You're nervous," Rasputin said.
"Well, you two are a little intimidating."
"Let me get rid of that anxiety," Steve offered. "Tell me your phone
number backward."
I started saying, "Five ... four ... nine ... six." As I did, Steve snapped
his fingers.
"Okay, take a deep breath and now blow out hard," he commanded.
As I did, Steve traced his fingers up from my navel and made a whoosh-
ing sound. "Be gone!" he commanded. "Now watch that feeling just blow
away like a smoke ring on a windy day. Notice how it's gone; it's no more.
Take a tour of your body and try and find where it was. Notice how there's a
different vibration there. Okay. Open your eyes. Try really hard to bring any
piece of it back. See? You can't."
I couldn't tell whether it had worked or not, but I was reeling. He'd def-
initely taken my mind and body on some kind of one-minute trip.
He took a step back and scanned my face, as if reading a diary. "A guy
named Phoenix offered to pay me two thousand dollars to follow me
around for three days," Steve P. said. "And I told him no, because he wants
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to make women his slaves. You seem like you may care about women: You
don't just want to stuff your meat bat in some hole. You're willing to ex-
plore shit."
Suddenly, we heard a commotion behind us. Two sisters and their
mother had made the mistake of walking down a hotel hallway full of
pickup artists, and the vultures were descending on the carrion. Orion the
uber-nerd was reading one of the girls' palms; Rick H. was telling the
mother that he was Orion's manager; Grimble was moving in on the re-
maining girl; and a crowd of wanna-be PUAs had gathered around, trying
to see the masters at work.
"Listen," Steve P. said, in a rush. "Here's my card. Call me if you ever
want to learn some inner-circle shit."
"I'd love to."
"But this is classified," he warned. "If we let you in, you cannot share
these techniques with anybody. They're very powerful, and in the wrong
hands they could really screw a girl up."
"Got it," I said.
He twisted a piece of white paper into the shape of a rose, then
bounded off in the direction of the carrion. He approached the girl Grimble
was sarging, told her to smell the flower, and within thirty seconds she was
passed out in Steve's arms. This was inner-circle shit. And I was about to
learn it.
And so began the weirdest phase of my education.
Every weekend, I'd drive two hours south to San Diego and stay at
Steve P.'s small, squalid apartment, where he raised two sons the same way
he talked to his students—with compassionate obscenity. His thirteen-year-
old was already a better hypnotist than I would ever be.
In the afternoons, Steve and I drove to see Rasputin. They'd sit me in a
chair and ask what I wanted to learn. I had a list: to believe that I was at-
tractive to women; to live in my own reality; to stop worrying about what
other people thought of me; to move and speak with an air of strength, con-
fidence, mystery, and depth; to get over my fear of sexual rejection; and, of
course, to attain a sense of worthiness, which Rasputin defined as the belief
that one deserves the best the world has to offer.
It was easy to memorize routines, but mastering inner game after a life-
time of bad habits and thought patterns was not easy. These guys, however,
had the tools to fix me in time for Mystery's next workshop in Miami.
"We're going to reframe you to where you're not glad to have some
boopsy sucking your dick," Steve explained. "It will be a privilege for her to
get to drink from the nectar of the master."
At each session, they'd put me under, and Rasputin would tell complex
metaphorical stories into one of my ears as Steve P. issued commands to my
subconscious in the other ear. They'd leave open loops (or unfinished meta-
phors and stories) in my mind that they'd close a week later. They'd play
music designed to elicit specific psychological reactions. They'd put me into
trances so deep that hours went by in the blink of an eye.
Afterward, I'd go back to Steve's house and read his NLP books while
he screamed lovingly at his kids.
I have a theory that most naturals, like Dustin, lose their virginity at a
young age and consequently never feel a sense of urgency, curiosity, and in-
timidation around women during their critical pubescent years. Those who
must learn to meet women methodically, on the other hand—like myself
and most students in the community—generally suffer through high
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school without girlfriends or even dates. Thus, we're forced to spend years
feeling intimidated by and alienated from women, who hold in their sole
possession the key to releasing us from the stigma blighting our young
adult lives: our virginity.
Steve fit in with my theory on naturals. He was initiated into sex when
he was in first grade. An older girl wanted to give him a blow job; he re-
sponded by trying to hit her with a rock. But she eventually convinced him,
and the experience set off a lifelong obsession with oral sex. When he was
seventeen, he said, a cousin hired him to work in the kitchen of a Catholic
girls' school. After he gave oral sex to one of the girls, word spread and he
soon became the sexual go-to guy on campus. In addition to giving the girls
pleasure, however, he also gave them guilt. And after a few too many con-
fessions that involved the boy in the kitchen, Steve was fired.
He ran with a bike gang for a while but left soon after accidentally
shooting a guy in the nuts. He now devoted his life to a self-styled mix of
sexuality and spirituality. And for all his crude talk, he was at heart a good
person. Unlike many of the other gurus I'd met, I trusted him.
After Steve's kids went to sleep each night, he taught me inner-circle
magic he'd learned from shamans whose names he'd sworn never to pro-
nounce. The first weekend I stayed over, he gave me a lesson in soul-gazing,
which is when you look deep into a woman's right eye with your own right
eye as you breathe together.
"Once you do this with her, she's going to bond real strong with you,"
he warned. His cautionary speeches were often longer than the actual teach-
ing process. "When you do this, you become anamchara, which in Gaelic
means friend of the soul. A soul friend."
The following weekend I learned about ménage-à-trois management,
and how to train a woman to eat another woman's pussy by having her put
a dried nectarine in her mouth and chew erotically on it during sex. The
next weekend he showed me how to throw chi through my hands into a
woman's abdomen. And the next weekend he taught me to contain and cy-
cle orgasmic energy, so that a woman can stack one withheld orgasm on top
of another—until, as Steve P. put it, she's "shaking like a dog shitting peach
seeds." Finally, he shared what he considered to be his greatest skill: guiding
any woman, through words and touch, to a powerful orgasm that " gushes
like Niagara Falls."
This was a whole new level of game. He was giving me super powers.
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I was in a whirlwind of learning. I didn't call my friends. I barely talked
to my family. I turned down every writing assignment that came my way. I
was living in an alternate reality.
"I told Rasputin," Steve said one night, "that more than all the other se-
duction boys out there, I'd like you to become one of our trainers."
It was an offer I'd have to turn down. The seduction world was a palace
of open doors. Walking through one, no matter how tempting the treasures
inside, would mean having to shut the rest.
I returned home one Sunday night from San Diego to find a message on my
machine from Cliff, of Cliffs List. He was in town, and he wanted to take
me to meet his latest PUA discovery—a biker turned construction worker
who called himself David X.
Cliff had been in the community since its inception. He was in his for-
ties and was as nice as he was uptight. Though he was conventionally hand
some, he was also the living embodiment of the word square. He looked like
he'd stepped out of a 1950s family sitcom. He had a closet in his home, he
claimed, with more than a thousand pickup books. There were issues of the
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