Vanilla Sky, would talk about what a one-night stand is and what a fuck
buddy is. And when you kind of get down to it, those things are a false inti-
macy. And they're unsatisfying. In a real relationship, sex means more. You
just want to keep going, and you want to hang out all the time and talk
about life. It's very cool."
"Yes, but the problem is that I don't want this to be the end of my jour-
ney in this subculture. It just reaffirms society's message of monogamy and
true love conquers everything and all those Hollywood happy endings. It
seems so cheesy."
"Who says it's cheesy?" Cruise asked, his eyes narrowing and his hands
reaching out to attack me with a friendly gesture. "You know what? I got
past that. Since when is it cheesy to be in love?"
He had AMOGed me again.
Ghosts.
We were just phantoms, drifting invisibly through a putrefying house
that hadn't seen a maid or repairman in months.
Mystery wasn't talking to Herbal. Herbal wasn't talking to Mystery.
Papa hardly spoke to anyone. And for some reason Sickboy, Playboy, Xa-
neus, and all the other Real Social Dynamics worker bees had stopped in-
teracting with Mystery and me. Even the junior PUAs who hung out in the
house—Dreamweaver, Maverick, and other former students—didn't say
hello when I passed by. If I tried to engage them in conversation, they were
curt. They wouldn't even look me in the eye.
The only person who spoke to everyone was Tyler Durden. But inter-
acting with him was never a conversation; it was an interrogation, like
someone might have with an actor who wanted to play him in a movie.
"I really want to ask you something," he said one afternoon as he
emerged from the kitchen with Sickboy. I'd always liked Sickboy. Despite
the name, he was a well-raised, mild-mannered New Yorker.
"What do you have that enables you to get Lisa?" Tyler Durden asked.
"Because I go out every night and work so hard on myself, and I know that
I couldn't get her as a girlfriend."
What was amazing about Lisa was that despite her roughness, she was
one of the most generous women I'd ever been with. She'd make my bed
every morning; she'd cook meals and bring them up to my room when I was
working; and she rarely came over without a small gift—a tube of Origins
face cleanser, a bottle of John Varvatos cologne, a copy of Henry IV
}
Part I I'd
been looking for. Perhaps I had found my Caresse.
"I guess I have life experience," I told him. "All you do is sarge every
night. You're only working on one aspect of yourself. It's like going to the
gym every day and just doing bicep curls."
His brows knitted, and his mind began turning rapidly. For a moment,
he appeared to take the advice to heart. Then he rejected it, and his eyes be-
gan to blaze. If it wasn't hatred they contained, it was at least resentment.
420
He resented me because I still didn't see him as an equal, because he still
wasn't cool in my eyes, because he couldn't pick apart the idea of coolness
to a subset of behaviors he could model. Lisa dated me because, to her, I was
cool. Tyler Durden would never be cool.
He chewed my ear off for ten minutes about how good he was in the
field now, and how he didn't need routines anymore to get IOIs, and how
celebrities always tried to get him to go to parties.
Finally, he turned to walk up to Papa's room. Sickboy remained be-
hind, standing next to me. "Aren't you coming?" Tyler asked Sickboy, nod-
ding his head upstairs as if something important were occurring there.
"I just want to say good-bye to Style," Sickboy said.
"You're leaving?" I asked. I was surprised Sickboy was even acknowl-
edging my presence.
The door to Papa's room slammed lightly overhead. Sickboy looked up
nervously.
"I'm out of this whole thing," he said.
"What whole thing?"
"This house is toxic." The words burst out of him, as if they'd been
slowly forming inside like a blister. " There are so many cool things to do in
L.A., and all anyone wants to do is sarge. I haven't even seen the Pacific
Ocean the whole time I've been here. These guys are losers. I wouldn't intro-
duce any of them to any of my friends back in New York."
"I know what you mean. Lisa can't stand them."
"It's a joke," he continued. He sighed the tension out of his shoulders,
as if relieved he'd found someone normal, someone who understood, some-
one who wasn't entirely brainwashed. "They bring girls back to the house
all the time, but the girls get creeped out and leave. Tyler Durden can
hardly get anyone to return his calls. I don't think he's been laid in two
months. Papa's had sex with probably one girl in the last year. Mystery can't
hold onto a girlfriend to save his life. And when Xaneus came here, he was a
cool guy. But now he seems fake. All he talks about is sarging. You're the
only guy I want to model. You have a great lifestyle, a good job, and a cool
girlfriend."
Flattery will get you everywhere. "I'll tell you what. I'm going to give
Lisa a surfing lesson tomorrow. Why don't you join us? It'll be good for you
to get out of the house and see the ocean."
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