The Game Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Arttists
Yüklə 2,79 Mb. Pdf görüntüsü
|
|
SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
BY NEIL STRAUSS The only reason you go out, The only objective in mind, A glimpse of a familiar pair Of legs on a busy street or A squeeze from a female who You can only call your friend. A scoreless night fosters hostility. A scoreless weekend breeds animosity. Through red eyes all the world is seen, Angry at friends and family for no Reason that they can perceive. Only you know why you are so mad. There is the 'justfriends' one who you've Known for so long, who respects you So much that you can't do what you want. And she no longer bothers to put on her False personality and flirt because she thinks You like her for who she is when what you Liked about her was her flirtatiousness. 31 When your own hand becomes your best lover, When your life-giving fertilizer is wasted In a Kleenex and flushed down the toilet You wonder when you are going to stop Thinking about what could have happened That night when you almost got somewhere. There is the coy one who smiles And looks like she wants to meet you, But you can't work up the nerve to talk. So instead she will become one of your nighttime Fantasies, where you could have but didn't. Your hand will be substituted for hers. When you neglect work and meaningful activities, When you neglect the ones who really love you, For a shot at a target that you rarely hit. Does everyone get lucky with women but you, Or do females just not want it as bad as you do? In the decade since I'd written that poem, nothing had changed. I still couldn't write poetry. And, more important, I still felt the same way. Per- haps signing up for Mystery's workshop had been an intelligent decision. After all, I was doing something proactive about my lameness. Even the wise man dwells in the fool's paradise. On the last night of the workshop, Mystery and Sin took us to a bar called the Saddle Ranch, a country-themed meat market on the Sunset Strip. I'd been there before—not to pick up women, but to ride the mechanical bull. One of my goals in Los Angeles was to master the machine at its fastest set- ting. But not today. After three consecutive nights of going out until 2:00 A.M. and then breaking down approaches with Mystery and the other stu- dents far beyond the allotted half-hour, I was wiped out. Within minutes, however, our tireless professor of pickup was at the bar, making out with a loud, tipsy girl who kept trying to steal his scarf. Watching Mystery work, I noticed that he used the exact same openers, rou- tines, and lines—and got a phone number or a tonguedown nearly every time, even if the woman was with a boyfriend. I'd never seen anything like it. Sometimes a woman he was talking to was even moved to tears. As I walked toward the mechanical bull ring, feeling foolish in a red cowboy hat Mystery had insisted I wear, I saw a girl with long black hair, a formfitting sweater, and tan legs sticking out of a ruffled skirt. She was talk- ing animatedly to two guys, bouncing around them like a cartoon character. One second. Two seconds. Three. "Hey, looks like the party's over here." I spoke to the guys, then turned to face the girl. I stuttered for a moment. I knew the next line—Mystery had been pushing it on me all weekend—but I'd been dreading using it. "If... if I wasn't gay, you'd be so mine." A huge smile spread across her face. "I like your hat," she screeched, grabbing the brim. I guess peacocking did work. "Hey, now," I told her, repeating a line I had heard Mystery use earlier. "Hands off the merchandise." She responded by throwing her arms around me and telling me I was fun. Every ounce of fear evaporated with her acceptance. The secret to meet- ing women, I realized, is simply knowing what to say, and when and how to say it. "How do you all know each other?" I asked. 33 "I just met them," she said. "My name is Elonova." She curtseyed clumsily. I took that as an IOI. I showed Elonova an ESP trick Mystery had taught me earlier that ever ning, in which I guessed a number she was thinking between one and ten (hint: it's almost always seven), and she clapped her hands together glee- fully. The guys, in the presence of my superior game, wandered off. When the bar closed, Elonova and I moved outside. Every AFC we walked past gave me the thumbs up and said, "She's hot" or "You lucky bas- tard." What idiots. They were fucking up my game—that is, if I could figure out a way to tell Elonova I was straight. Hopefully, she'd figured it out on her own by now. I remembered Sin telling me to kino, so I put my arm around her. This time, however, she backed away. That was definitely not an IOI. As I took a step toward her to try again, one of the guys she'd been with in the bar ar- rived. She flirted with him as I stood there stupidly. When she turned back to me a few minutes later, I told her we should hang out sometime. She agreed, and we exchanged numbers. Mystery, Sin, and the boys were all in the limo, watching the whole ex- change go down. I climbed inside, thinking I was hot shit for number- closing in front of them all. But Mystery wasn't impressed. "You got that number-close," he said, "because you forced yourself on her. You let her play with you." "What do you mean?" I asked. "Have I ever told you about cat string theory?" "No." "Listen. Have you ever seen a cat play with a string? Well, when the string is dangling above its head, just out of reach, the cat goes crazy trying to get it. It leaps in the air, dances around, and chases it all over the room. But as soon as you let go of the string and it drops right between the cat's paws, it just looks at the string for a second and then walks away. It's bored. It doesn't want it anymore." "So..." "So that girl moved away from you when you put your arm around her. And you ran right back to her like a puppy dog. You should have punished her—turned away and talked to someone else. Let her work to get your at- tention back. After that, she made you wait while she talked to that dork." 34 "What should I have done?" "You should have said, Til let you two be alone,' and started to walk away, as if you were giving her to him—even though you knew she liked you more. You have to act like you are the prize." I smiled. I think I really understood. "Yeah," he said. "Be the dancing string." I grew silent and thought about it, kicking my legs up against the bar counter of the limousine and slouching into the seat. Mystery turned to Sin, and they talked amongst themselves for several minutes. It felt like they were discussing me. I tried not to make eye contact with them. I wondered if they were go- ing to tell me that I'd held the workshop up, that I wasn't yet ready for it, that I should study for another six months and then take it again. Suddenly, Mystery and Sin ended their huddle. Mystery broke into a wide smile and looked straight at me. "You're one of us," he said. "You're going to be a superstar." MSN GROUP: Mystery's Lounge SUBJECT: Sex Magic AUHOR Mystery My Mystery Method workshop in Los Angeles kicked ass. I've decided to teach several impressive ways to demonstrate mind power through magic at my next workshop. After all, some of you need something with which to convey your charming personalities. If you are going in without an edge—like if you say, "Hi, I'm an accountant"—you will not capture your target's attention and curiosity. So, since the workshop, I've retired the FMAC model and broken down the approach to thirteen detailed steps. Here is the basic format to all approaches: 1. Smile when you walk into a room. See the group with the target and follow the three-second rule. Do not hesitate—approach instantly. 2. Recite a memorized opener, if not two or three in a row. 3. The opener should open the group, not just the target. When talking, ignore the target for the most part. If there are men in the group, focus your attention on the men. 4. Neg the target with one of the slew of negs we've come up with. Tell her, "Its so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh." Then get her friends to notice and laugh about it. 5. Convey personality to the entire group. Do this by using stories, magic, an - ecdotes, and humor. Pay particular attention to the men and the less attractive women. During this time, the target will notice that you are the center of atten- 36 Hon. You may perform various memorized pieces like the photo routine, 2 but only for the obstacles. 6. Neg the target again if appropriate. If she wants to look at the pictures, for example, say, "Oh my god, she's so grabby. How do you roll with her?" 7. Ask the group, "So, how does everyone know each other?" If the target is with one of the guys, find out how long they've been together. If its a serious relationship, eject politely by saying, "Pleasure meeting you." 8. If she is not spoken for, say to the group, "I've sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?" They always say, "Uh, sure. If its okay with her." If you've executed the preceding steps correctly, she will agree. 9. Isolate her from the group by telling her you want to show her something cool. Take her to sit with you nearby. As you lead her through the crowd, do a kino test by holding her hand. If she squeezes back, its on. Start looking for other IOIs. 10. Sit with her and perform a rune reading, an ESP test, or any other demon - stration that will fascinate and intrigue her. 1 1 . Tell her, "Beauty is common but what's rare is a great energy and outlook on life. Tell me, what do you have inside that would make me want to know you as more than a mere face in the crowd?" If she begins to list qualities, this is a positive IOI. 12. Stop talking. Does she reinitiate the chat with a question that begins with the word "So?" If she does, you've now seen three IOIs and can . . . 2 The photo routine involves carrying an envelope of photos in a jacket pocket, as if they've just been developed. Each photo, however, is pre-selected to convey a different aspect of the PUA's personality, such as images of the PUA with beautiful women, with children, with pets, with celebrities, goofing off with friends, and doing something active like roller-blading or skydiving. The PUA should also have a short, witty story to accompany each photo. 37 13. Kiss close. Say, out of the blue, "Would you like to kiss me?" If the setting or circumstances aren't conducive to physical intimacy, then give yourself a time constraint by saying, "I have to go, but we should continue this." Then get her number and leave. —Mystery — Is that a wig?Oh..well it looks nice anyway. — I think your hair would look better (up/down). — What do you call that hairstyle, the waffle? *smile* — You have eye crusties. No, don't rub them. l *like* eye crusties :-) — You have beautiful eyes. Can I touch them? — You kinda have man hands. How cute... your nose wiggles when you talk! Say something again. *smile* — Eww... you spit on me! — You blink a lot. — Nice nails... are they real? Oh... well they look nice anyway. — I like that skirt. Those are really popular these days. — I like that skirt. l just saw a girl wearing it a few minutes ago. — Those shoes look really comfortable. Yüklə 2,79 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
|