The Importance of Being Earnest

Jack.
Twenty-nine. 
Lady Bracknell.
A very good age to be married at. I have always been of 
opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either 
everything or nothing. Which do you know? 
Jack.
[After some hesitation.] I know nothing, Lady Bracknell. 
Lady Bracknell.
I am pleased to hear it. I do not approve of anything that 
tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; 
touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is 
radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces 
no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper 
classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square. What is 
your income? 
17

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Jack.
Between seven and eight thousand a year. 
Lady Bracknell.
[Makes a note in her book.] In land, or in investments? 
Jack.
In investments, chiefly. 
Lady Bracknell.
That is satisfactory. What between the duties expected of 
one during one’s lifetime, and the duties exacted from one after one’s 
death, land has ceased to be either a profit or a pleasure. It gives one 
position, and prevents one from keeping it up. That’s all that can be said 
about land. 
Jack.
I have a country house with some land, of course, attached to it, about 
fifteen hundred acres, I believe; but I don’t depend on that for my real 
income. In fact, as far as I can make out, the poachers are the only people 
who make anything out of it. 
Lady Bracknell.
A country house! How many bedrooms? Well, that point 
can be cleared up afterwards. You have a town house, I hope? A girl with a 
simple, unspoiled nature, like Gwendolen, could hardly be expected to 
reside in the country. 
Jack.
Well, I own a house in Belgrave Square, but it is let by the year to Lady 
Bloxham. Of course, I can get it back whenever I like, at six months’ notice.