The Importance of Being Earnest



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importance-of-being-earnest

Lady Bracknell.
Where did the charitable gentleman who had a first-class 
ticket for this seaside resort find you? 
Jack.
[Gravely.] In a hand-bag. 
Lady Bracknell. A hand-bag? 
Jack.
[Very seriously.] Yes, Lady Bracknell. I was in a hand-bag—a 
somewhat large, black leather hand-bag, with handles to it—an ordinary 
hand-bag in fact. 
Lady Bracknell.
In what locality did this Mr. James, or Thomas, Cardew 
come across this ordinary hand-bag? 
Jack.
In the cloak-room at Victoria Station. It was given to him in mistake 
for his own. 
19


Jack._Yes._The_Brighton_line._Lady_Bracknell.'>Lady Bracknell.
The cloak-room at Victoria Station? 
Jack.
Yes. The Brighton line. 
Lady Bracknell.
The line is immaterial. Mr. Worthing, I confess I feel 
somewhat bewildered by what you have just told me. To be born, or at any 
rate bred, in a hand-bag, whether it had handles or not, seems to me to 
display a contempt for the ordinary decencies of family life that reminds one 
of the worst excesses of the French Revolution. And I presume you know 
what that unfortunate movement led to? As for the particular locality in 
which the hand-bag was found, a cloak-room at a railway station might 
serve to conceal a social indiscretion—has probably, indeed, been used for 
that purpose before now—but it could hardly be regarded as an assured 
basis for a recognised position in good society. 
Jack.
May I ask you then what you would advise me to do? I need hardly say 
I would do anything in the world to ensure Gwendolen’s happiness. 
Lady Bracknell.
I would strongly advise you, Mr. Worthing, to try and 
acquire some relations as soon as possible, and to make a definite effort to 
produce at any rate one parent, of either sex, before the season is quite 
over. 
Jack.
Well, I don’t see how I could possibly manage to do that. I can 
produce the hand-bag at any moment. It is in my dressing-room at home. I 
really think that should satisfy you, Lady Bracknell. 
Lady Bracknell.
Me, sir! What has it to do with me? You can hardly imagine 
that I and Lord Bracknell would dream of allowing our only daughter—a girl 
brought up with the utmost care—to marry into a cloak-room, and form an 
alliance with a parcel? Good morning, Mr. Worthing! 
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