The Importance of Being Earnest

Jack
looks perfectly furious, but restrains himself.] 
Jack.
[In a clear, cold voice.] Miss Cardew is the grand-daughter of the late 
Mr. Thomas Cardew of 149 Belgrave Square, S.W.; Gervase Park, Dorking, 
Surrey; and the Sporran, Fifeshire, N.B. 
Lady Bracknell.
That sounds not unsatisfactory. Three addresses always 
inspire confidence, even in tradesmen. But what proof have I of their 
authenticity? 
Jack.
I have carefully preserved the Court Guides of the period. They are 
open to your inspection, Lady Bracknell. 
Lady Bracknell.
[Grimly.] I have known strange errors in that publication. 
62

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Jack.
Miss Cardew’s family solicitors are Messrs. Markby, Markby, and 
Markby. 
Lady Bracknell.
Markby, Markby, and Markby? A firm of the very highest 
position in their profession. Indeed I am told that one of the Mr. Markby’s is 
occasionally to be seen at dinner parties. So far I am satisfied. 
Jack.
[Very irritably.] How extremely kind of you, Lady Bracknell! I have 
also in my possession, you will be pleased to hear, certificates of Miss 
Cardew’s birth, baptism, whooping cough, registration, vaccination, 
confirmation, and the measles; both the German and the English variety. 
Lady Bracknell.
Ah! A life crowded with incident, I see; though perhaps 
somewhat too exciting for a young girl. I am not myself in favour of 
premature experiences. [Rises, looks at her watch.] Gwendolen! the time 
approaches for our departure. We have not a moment to lose. As a matter 
of form, Mr. Worthing, I had better ask you if Miss Cardew has any little 
fortune? 
Jack.
Oh! about a hundred and thirty thousand pounds in the Funds. That is 
all. Goodbye, Lady Bracknell. So pleased to have seen you. 
Lady Bracknell.
[Sitting down again.] A moment, Mr. Worthing. A hundred 
and thirty thousand pounds! And in the Funds! Miss Cardew seems to me a 
most attractive young lady, now that I look at her. Few girls of the present 
day have any really solid qualities, any of the qualities that last, and improve 
with time. We live, I regret to say, in an age of surfaces. [To