The Importance of Being Earnest

Jack
and 
Algernon
.] Both these gentlemen have expressed a desire for 
immediate baptism. 
Lady Bracknell.
At their age? The idea is grotesque and 
irreligious! Algernon, I forbid you to be baptized. I will not hear of such 
excesses. Lord Bracknell would be highly displeased if he learned that that 
was the way in which you wasted your time and money. 
Chasuble.
Am I to understand then that there are to be no christenings at all 
this afternoon? 
Jack.
I don’t think that, as things are now, it would be of much practical 
value to either of us, Dr. Chasuble. 
Chasuble.
I am grieved to hear such sentiments from you, Mr. 
Worthing. They savour of the heretical views of the Anabaptists, views that 
I have completely refuted in four of my unpublished sermons. However, as 
your present mood seems to be one peculiarly secular, I will return to the 
church at once. Indeed, I have just been informed by the pew-opener that 
for the last hour and a half Miss Prism has been waiting for me in the vestry. 
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Chasuble._Yes,_Lady_Bracknell._I_am_on_my_way_to_join_her._Lady_Bracknell.'>Lady Bracknell.
[Starting.] Miss Prism! Did I hear you mention a Miss Prism? 
Chasuble.
Yes, Lady Bracknell. I am on my way to join her. 
Lady Bracknell.
Pray allow me to detain you for a moment. This matter may 
prove to be one of vital importance to Lord Bracknell and myself. Is this 
Miss Prism a female of repellent aspect, remotely connected with 
education? 
Chasuble.
[Somewhat indignantly.] She is the most cultivated of ladies, and 
the very picture of respectability. 
Lady Bracknell.
It is obviously the same person. May I ask what position she 
holds in your household? 
Chasuble.
[Severely.] I am a celibate, madam. 
Jack.
[Interposing.] Miss Prism, Lady Bracknell, has been for the last three 
years Miss Cardew’s esteemed governess and valued companion.