Jack.
Then the question had better be cleared up at once.
Aunt Augusta, a
moment. At the time when Miss Prism left me in the hand-bag, had I been
christened already?
Jack.'>Lady Bracknell.
Every luxury
that money could buy, including christening,
had been lavished on you by your fond and doting parents.
Jack.
Then I was christened! That is settled. Now, what name was I
given? Let me know the worst.
Lady Bracknell.
Being the eldest son you were naturally christened after
your father.
Jack.
[Irritably.] Yes, but what was my father’s Christian name?
Lady Bracknell.
[Meditatively.] I cannot at the present moment recall what
the General’s Christian name was. But I have no doubt he had one. He was
eccentric, I admit. But only in later years. And that was
the result of the
Indian climate, and marriage, and indigestion, and other things of that kind.
Jack.
Algy! Can’t you recollect what our father’s Christian name was?
Algernon.
My dear boy, we were never even on speaking terms.
He died
before I was a year old.
Jack.
His name would appear in the Army Lists of the period, I suppose,
Aunt Augusta?
Lady Bracknell.
The General was
essentially a man of peace, except in his
domestic life. But I have no doubt his name would appear in any military
directory.
Jack.
The Army Lists of the last forty years are here. These delightful
records should have been my constant study. [Rushes to bookcase and
tears the books out.] M. Generals . . . Mallam, Maxbohm, Magley, what
ghastly names they have—Markby, Migsby, Mobbs, Moncrieff!
Lieutenant
1840, Captain, Lieutenant-Colonel, Colonel, General 1869, Christian names,
Ernest John. [Puts book very quietly down and speaks quite calmly.] I
always told you, Gwendolen, my name was Ernest, didn’t I? Well, it is Ernest
after all. I mean it naturally is Ernest.
72
