Tourist:_So,_erm,_were_you_a_student_at_the_university_Guide'>Tourist: So, erm, were you a student at the
university?
Guide: Well, not exactly. I did apply for a
place to read history but in spite of
my superior intellect, I failed the
entrance exams. But let me tell you
I had a wonderful three years at
teacher training college in Swansea
and I regard the day I failed to get into
Oxford as the luckiest day of my life.
There are no regrets, I can assure you.
Tourist: But you just said you studied here.
Guide: Well, I once read a book in the
Botanical Gardens, although I can’t
remember exactly when that was.
And talking of which, we’re now just
crossing Magdalen Bridge, and below
us you can see the River Cherwell which
joins the river Thames here in Oxford.
If you look to your left, you can see
some students out punting on the river.
Tourist: Where?
Guide: On the left! The left! Whoops! Too
late! You’ll have to be quicker. Anyway,
punting is a very popular pastime
here in Oxford, and as you can see the
punter moves the boat using a long
pole rather like a gondolier in Venice.
It’s much more difficult to do than
it looks, let me tell you. Only people
clever enough to get into Oxford can do
it really well!
Tourist: So, are you going to take us punting?
Guide: No, no time for that! So, moving right
along, here on our right is Magdalen
College, just there!
Tourist: Where?
Guide: There! Erm, back there, you can’t see
it now. Anyway, it’s one of the most
famous of Oxford’s colleges. Oscar
Wilde studied there – he obviously did
better in the entrance exams than I did.
Tourist: Aren’t you driving a bit fast?
Guide: It’s the only way we can get to see
everything in such a short time, unless
you’d rather walk. Would you rather
walk?
Tourist: No, but isn’t it a bit dangerous to
be driving with just one hand on the
wheel and the other one holding that
microphone?
Guide: I’ve done this hundreds of times before
and I’ve only had six accidents… none
of which were fatal. Now, on our right
are the Botanical Gardens, which is
where I read that book I told you about
earlier. The gardens are full of plants
and, erm… things.
