Ulugbek Khamdam a bowl of Water

Ulugbek Khamdam
A Bowl of Water
(Dream Story)


I was entrusted with a task.


Why me? Why was I exactly the choice? I do not know. Who entrusted me with this task and under what conditions? No idea. Something put it out of my head. The only thing I do remember is: I have safely to deliver some weight; some lading packed in a carriage and pair to the place of destination before nightfall. Why should the cargo be delivered exactly before nightfall? All of this is clear as mud to me… Cap the misery – a strict command which had been given to me: Do not lose your way. God forefend! And deliver this cargo in time. This mission, dropped from the skies upon me, seemed to be a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma…


The whole matter wears a strange complexion. For example: why does the carriage look like a simple horse vehicle? There are more advanced means of transportation, aren’t they? And what about the lading, this special deposit? What’s that? My vehicle looks like a muck cart. It is full of old stuff, tatters, lashings… With the best will in the world, I cannot find a satisfactory explanation.


The high noonday sun warms my young body by its lovely rays. My horses run level with one another, they are bridles wise and I give them their heads. “So clever they are”, say I to myself about the horses, “Perhaps, they are in on the secret… oh, my God!”


After a little while I find myself, to my own surprise, singing songs. At first I sing my heart out, then, keeping in mind that I must save strength for the future, I confine myself to humming only the tune of a song. I sing any song coming about. I look around and my young soul is filled with joy! The breadth and vastness of the horizon put me into a flutter! A rich landscape surrounding me greatly fascinates me… Abundant life! I am overwhelmed with some kind of pleasure which makes me cry with all might! And I do shout at the very tiptop of my voice: “Uuu-luuu-uuugh¹!” And in the same flash of time the echo answers to me: “Ghuu-luuu-uuuu²!” All of sudden a scent of trouble reaches me. I start shivering with fever. Notwithstanding that it is dog day afternoon my forehead has been covered with cold sweat. Seeking for cover, for protection, I look about me. Now I am surrounded with a dull landscape. Now I am unwilling to cry any more… I would rather not sing. What's the big hurry, much cry and little wool? Easy does it… But what a monotonous and grey landscape spreads before me.


In the mean time the day has set up its authority and the heat has spread all over the world. I am feeling the thirst. I am feeling the rising thirst in me. I look along both sides of the road in search of water spring. Hell of a comedown! Any drop of water on the globe remained?! It seems to me I am on the road an unconscionable long time, but, as a matter of fact, no great length of time has yet elapsed since I hit the trail. The thirst obfuscates me… all right, then! Anyway, I have to find water! The most important thing for me now is to find water! So, where should I search water? Think it over. Oh, that a well of cold clean water would come into sight in the middle of the heat and I could drink fill… it would be enough for me even it would be only a bowl of water… a gulp of water…


Peering at the blue sky, shot with white clouds, I find out that the sun is climbing to the zenith. The noon must come about two hours later. The heat which seized the world is like water off a duck's back for my horses. They continue steadily riding in full speed. After a while the rabblement of birds overhead attracts my attention. I remember, they were my fellow travelers from the very beginning of my way, like some kind of pilot birds. Wonderful! I am becoming calm; I am unalarmed about the final cause of my journey. The former exaltation is coming back to me. It is a comfort to know that everything which accompanies me in my travel – horses, clouds, and sky birds, – does wish only help me to perform task, to fulfill my task; to fulfill it honorably… This idea completely carried me away! Once again an ardent desire arises in my heart to roar with laughter… but I resist laughter; I am afraid that, as last time, my desire will turn into worry and trouble.


It is a very hot day. The sun grills unbearably. Thirst burns me alive like a furnace inside me. Floods and water overflow flicker before my closed eyes. “This is mi-i-i-ra-a-a-a-age…” – whisper I to myself, licking my dry lips. “So stupid you are!” say I loudly, “Why didn’t you take at least one pitcher of water?! You should know that you will be travelling in the full blaze of the sun…”


Suddenly I feel faint; I am nauseated. I look around as if spaces may relieve me of anxiety. Also the horses, smelling danger, shorten their strides. I don’t chuck my horses – poor animals are tired and suffer from thirst too. Let them go as they want to… Come hell or high water… better high water…


Now I’m for it. It is a sad day. And it is a depressing landscape. My brim laden cart creeps like a poor thing stricken with paralysis. Wheels grate on an axle and slack away. I start screaming: “What’s the price for lube? How much money did you have thrown to the dogs?!” I have again broken out into a sweat; and I am rubbing dry my forehead using a white handkerchief.


What is my goal? Where is my destination point? Yeah! My point of destination is so far, so far… as if it is a skyline! So, be calm. In my memory there is but a shadowy picture of a strange womanish looking creature who is whispering into my ears curious predictions: I shall certainly gain my destination before nightfall only in case if I never deviate from my path, if I travel in a straight line, if I overcome temptations… What kind of temptations? What if I don’t find the right way? “Stop worrying about this”, say I to myself. “Don’t be morbid about the future…” Faith moves the mountains. My faith is firm. It would be more firm… except for thirst I should have steadfast faith, I should be even happy… I am tortured with thirst. Thirst has come over me making me good-for-nothing. It seems to me as if barchans – looking like long trains of camels starving for water – forge through density of my bowels.


All at once something starts flashing before my eyes… something which is able to glint in the sun! Water!! In utter disbelief I start peering at the subject. It must be next illusion, probably? I cannot believe my eyes but this is… this is caravanserai! A big caravanserai in the distance! Or it is next joke of boiling mirage? On drawing near I can resolve fine details: gravelly paths leading inside the yards, carved doors, garden suite. I catch my breath for joy, I cease driving my cart, jump from it and run to wide open gates. Ah! I have really blossomed out since this moment!


At the threshold of caravanserai a beautiful girl with a nice slender figure greets me with a smile. She is a raving beauty. She has an inviting look. Her black eyes and parted red lips attract me and drive me out of senses. Before I open my mouth she shows with her hand the direction to a fountain murmuring in the garden. With all speed I jump at it… near the fountain there is an engrave bowl made from copper for whom wants to drink. The bowl is decorated with designs and has a long chain made from silver (I am sure, it’s to prevent the thievery). I get some water from the fountain and lap it up. I thought I can dry five bowls at a time, but it was my mistake. Enough was only one bowl for me. That’s was a shock for me. I am a strong handsome boy in the heyday of youth. A youth of great promise, as people use to say. A moment ago I was parched with a ferocious thirst. And a little bowl of water was enough for me? A little bowl of water could still my great thirst? Righty ho! Get away with this wonderment! The most important thing: I did away with torment. I am sure; an outside observer could see my eyes beaming with pleasure: I dispose me to continue my way. I bathed my face with fountain water. That's put the lid on it. Full speed ahead!


I knew very well that I might not stay there for a long while. I knew exactly that I might not stay nowhere for a long time! I may not tread water: I have to continue my way without making leeway. I was entrusted with a very important task. And this task was to my liking. If I didn’t like it I wouldn’t take to the road. It was clear for me. Without losing any time I took my money out of my pocket. I wanted to pay for water I have drunk.


In decisive steps I came up to the girl who had met me at the threshold of caravanserai. But, instead taking the money, she went to the house inviting me by gesture as if she wanted to say: “Go there… and pay there.” I have no choice but enter the house. Oh, my God! What’s the deal? What a palace of a house? It is almost baronial mansion! And this is in the middle of the trackless wilderness…


Two-story residence is full with people. Lots of them are sitting, like swallows, in rows. All posh accommodations are overrun with idle people. Their faces have a look of pleasure and I envy all of them. Supposing I had no task, I should remain here, I should attach me to their joy; I should attach me to this comfort! If only there was no task…


I lost my courage: so, where shall I go? Whom should I pay for water? I look around me and see another one group of people. They are waiting in line for something. Do they want to pay for some services, like me, rendered in the palace? They differ from other people with their company manners. But I notice, this group’s people do not have happy faces, neither joy, nor satisfaction signs are to be read in their faces. “Oh, my God! – I say to myself, - It is something to be surprised about! Sullen looks shaded their face do not conform to luxuriousness and magnificence of the palace. They differ from other people whom I have seen here. People of joy and satisfaction!” Nevertheless, I started towards that group of people – we are none of us always happy. I guess, there can I perform settlement for water. On the way toward unhappy looking people I pass many groups of men who were drunk and happy, who were sitting in circles on their hunkers. Once again I started feeling some sort of cobweb in my throat…


Joining the queue, I thought that it is a wrongful deal to spend so much time, so much of precious time, just for payment of a gulp of water. “I have a special task!” – said I to myself. Faint hope still flickered in my heart that servants, who sneak about the place in great number, would help me. Those swanky servants, who looked like by sight as if they were accomplished business men, did not pay any attention at me. I addressed to them, but they did not listen to me, pointing on-the-go to a great crowd of people standing before me. And it became clear to me why people had that somber mood. In silence I reserved for me a place in the rear end of the queue.

…if I knew, if I only knew that I should spend so much time in the queue just aiming payment of a little bowl of water! Qualms of conscience are prepared for me – I did not fulfill the task up to now… Why did I enter this palace?! That’s easy to say. I felt an urge to let hair down with people in the queue. But they had not a spark of interest for my story. “Are they dumb? – say I to myself, - they keep mum as if they sew up their mouth”

A real torture is this standing here, nailed to the spot, and waiting. Waiting for what? I squat down, just to have a little rest. But my legs are growing numb, and, willy nilly, I have to stand up. Now I have neither wish, nor mood to speak at all.


Time moves along. With mixed feeling of malicious joy and pleasure do I watch a person who is in the queue. That person, like me in the recent past, asks questions. I also became dumb and deaf. Simultaneously and with great interest I watch people standing and even sitting in the queue: some of them burst with joy, others are rueful and angry. Indolent people hanging about in this palace stare at each other, and I think about them: “If only they knew, what would happen later…”


I was already awful tired because of events occurring around me. I squatted down once again and closed my eyes. Suddenly thirst perception returned to my being. This pain, this torment will torture me again! I opened my eyes. Poor me! What do I still have to go through? As in a fog I realized me standing in a queue, waiting my chance to pay a bowl of water I had drunk recently, and I was thirsty again. But I daren’t leave the queue and go to the water fountain – I was afraid to baulk my turn. That people line was endless! I was crazed with worry that I was made to wait there forever! I understood that mot only me but nobody would have the heart to leave the queue. With jaws set in an effort to control myself I continue waiting...


Time drags on. Dog’s years pass. People haggle in long line. From time to time, awaking from stupor, I push men and women standing before me in the line. I try to make them haggle faster. Then I switch off, freak out, go feverish dreams and cannot understand what’s happening around me. People standing behind me push me too, they are angry like everybody in these lines.


Suddenly a rough push to my shoulders makes me wake up to reality. What do I see? I see small window before my eyes. Ah! They are ready to accept the payment! I put out the long-prepared money from my wallet, give it to the treasurer and leave this place almost at run.


I am marching ahead and feel that I must hasten my steps – I must achieve a task as quickly as possible. But suddenly I sigh with fatigue, I feel fatigue, I drop with fatigue. Apathy and dullness embrace me – I cannot rouse myself. I heavy legs, I cannot stand on my feet anymore! What’s that? It must be consequences of long-term standing in the queue… But I have overcome it! An idea struck me: all hardships are over! It is joy; I wanted to jump over the moon! But my under consciousness told me: it is impossible. And here another one mirage comes out of thin air – I see myself. Oh, Lord! What did happen to me? What does mean this new illusion? When I entered the caravanserai I was safe and sound, I was fresh as paint and full of energy, but now my body has crinkled; my body became flabby. My hairs looked as if one has been dragged through a hedge backwards. My bones were fragile and dwarfed. Amazement rounded my eyes, with adjuration I looked around me and… see again recent servant-girl. I stood mute with wonder: the girl didn’t change. She was as young and beautiful as she was when I entered caravanserai; with her smile on the red lips she continued welcoming new crowds of people entering the palace situated in desert. The palace caravanserai, like a gigantic boa, picked up all carts moving in the road. Youngsters leaped off their carts and run to the beautiful girl who pointed them the water fountain. Poor boys were immediately sated with only one little bowls of water…


My head reeled. I staggered and fell down. My eyes were filled with tears; my mouth – with warm sand. My lips were firmly set. My flat body was wriggling somewhere… I poked in everywhere and suddenly found a stick lying near me. I grasped the stick and tried to stand up. Drying my eyes I opened them. My cart stood before me. In a blink of an eye I did recall everything! I was… I was entrusted with a task! With a very important task!


Suddenly I noticed that shadows lengthen. Twilight died into dark… Lost labor! I was late in the field! I was unworthy of my mission. I wanted to cry with all might but I couldn’t produce a sound.


With great efforts and walking with a staff I stepped up to my cart and leaned with my back against it. At the same time I felt my back becoming wet. I sprang away and stared at my cart – I saw a little lake of water under my cart. I was shocked. With trembling hands I removed rags and clobber which covered the load of my cart… Oh, my God! What a bitter pill!


My cart was full with water jugs. One jug was broken to pieces and its water sank into eternal sands…
Translated by Timur Gulyamov


Timur Gulyamov


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1^ Great, Mighty

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