70 Improve your Communication Skills
• Open questions
. Cannot be answered ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
• Reflecting questions
. Restate the last remark with no new
request.
Remember also the Ladder of Inference from Chapter 3. This
powerful tool can provide questions that allow you to enquire
into the speaker’s thinking. You can also use it to invite them to
enquire into yours.
The highest quality questions actually liberate the other
person’s thinking. They remove the assumptions that block
thinking and replace them with other assumptions that set it
free. The key is identifying the assumption that might be limiting
the other person’s thinking. You don’t have to guess aright:
asking the question may tell you whether you’ve identified it
correctly; if it doesn’t, it may well open up the speaker’s thinking
anyway.
These high quality questions are broadly ‘What if’ questions.
You can either ask a question in the form ‘What if this
assumption weren’t true?’ or in the form ‘What if the opposite
assumption were true?’
Examples of the first kind of question might include:
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