A masterpiece of translations

True love
A beautiful woman was walking slowly along the road. A man approached
from behind and said:
-
Stay with me; be a life partner.
The woman shakes her head and smiles softly: "You don't like me. The woman
behind us deserves you better than me. She is not behind me in terms of beauty". 
The man turned back and caught sight of the ugly woman.
-
No! He immediately refused. My heart only wants you. 
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The lady answered:
- If you really loved me, you wouldn't turn your back!
Happy old age!
An elderly man was taken to the hospital with minor injuries after being hit by a
car. The old man refused the checks. The destination of the old man, who was
trying 
to leave the hospital in a hurry as if chasing after him, did not leave the doctor who
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was examining him indifferent.
-
I go to drink tea with my wife every morning! She is in the hospital now. "I
have to go to my wife, doctor," said the old man impatiently.
-
Don't worry, we will tell your wife why you were late for breakfast today, - 
said the doctor, annoyed with the patient.
The old man was sullen and said 
-
Although we were lucky enough to grow old together, my wife doesn't even
remember who I am now, - he said with a pale face.
-
Sorry, you are an interesting person! If your wife has forgotten who you are,
why do you go to tea with her every day? - asked the doctor in surprise.
-
Even though my wife doesn't remember me, I know who she is, doctor.
The secret of a happy life
Chin's happy daughter, Li-Li, married her lover. She was happy, but her
sweet 
life was interrupted by her old, capricious mother-in-law. Fed up with quarrels at 
home, her husband made a habit of not coming home. The bride, who wanted to
save 
her family, went to the doctor and told her about her pain. The old man handed him
a powdered medicine.
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-
A slow-acting poison, and you slowly add it to your mother-in-law's food 
every day for three months! Be kind to your mother-in-law by cooking the best
meals 
so people don't suspect you of her death!
Li-Li followed the old man's words. The gentle attitude of the bride 
completely changed the mother-in-law; they became real mother and daughter. The
young bride felt like she was carrying a heavy burden, regretted what she had
done, 
and came to the old man.
-
Please give my mother-in-law blood-detoxifying medicine. I don't want her
to
die! 
The old man looked at Li-Li, who was staring with tears in his eyes, and
laughed. 
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-
My daughter, I gave you medicine. That medicine added strength to your 
mother-in-law's. The real poison was actually in the brain. You got rid of it.
You
would live happily now.
...