Ask More: The Power of Questions to Open Doors, Uncover Solutions, and Spark Change pdfdrive com

The Comforter: I like your shoes. Where did you get them? You’re a Giants fan
—what do you think of the season so far? Start out by establishing a rapport. Hit
the pleasure center in the person’s brain by making reference to an interest you
share or an expertise you acknowledge in the other person. Express respect and
validate where appropriate. Start with questions that may have nothing to do
with the topic at hand. Then work your way to the harder questions.
The Reward: That’s interesting. I never thought of it that way before. Affirm or
express the other person’s point to validate and encourage further conversation.
Use a short affirming phrase that does not actually endorse the other person’s
behavior or belief. A lot of people feel that way. People given a reward will often
unconsciously return the favor. Rewarding what someone just said may
encourage more information or discussion.
The Question Without a Question Mark: Tell me more. Explain that to me.
These “questions without question marks” turn a question into a request. Saying
“tell me more” sends a signal of acknowledgment and validation because you
have, in essence, accepted the predicate of what that person just said. You want
to learn more. Wary people may feel isolated and unappreciated. Expressing
interest and requesting explanation can frame the issue as legitimate rather than
as a point of contention or accusation.
The Echo: It was SHOCKING? You fed TWO HUNDRED people? You say he

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HUMILIATED you? These questions are exclamation points and question marks
rolled into one. They are a product of careful listening. They echo a single word
or phrase you just heard that suggests a significant observation or experience.
They almost always prompt the person to whom they are directed to pause, go
deeper, and explain further. If you hear something surprising, significant or new,
or if you hear a word that holds surprise or emotion, echo it back, without
comment or embellishment.