103
GB Shaw
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
[
never looking up].
One rock is as
good as another to be wrecked on.
ELLIE
. I am not in love with him.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. Who said you were?
ELLIE
. You are not surprised?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. Surprised! At my age!
ELLIE
. It seems to me quite fair. He wants me for one thing:
I want him for another.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. Money?
ELLIE
. Yes.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. Well, one turns the cheek: the
other kisses it. One provides the cash: the other spends it.
ELLIE
. Who will have the best of the bargain, I wonder?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. You. These
fellows live in an of-
fice all day. You will have to put up with him from dinner to
breakfast; but you will both be asleep most of that time. All
day you will be quit of him; and you will be shopping with
his money. If that is too much for you, marry a seafaring
man: you will be bothered with him only three weeks in the
year, perhaps.
ELLIE
. That would be best of all, I suppose.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. It’s a
dangerous thing to be mar-
ried right up to the hilt, like my daughter’s husband. The
man is at home all day, like a damned soul in hell.
ELLIE
. I never thought of that before.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. If you’re marrying for business,
you can’t be too businesslike.
ELLIE
. Why do women always want other women’s hus-
bands?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. Why do horse-thieves prefer a
horse that is broken-in to one that is wild?
ELLIE
[
with a short laugh]. I suppose so. What a vile world
it is!
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. It doesn’t concern me. I’m nearly
out of it.
104
Heartbreak House
ELLIE
. And I’m only just beginning.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. Yes; so look ahead.
ELLIE
. Well, I think I am being very prudent.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. I didn’t say prudent. I said look
ahead.
ELLIE
. What’s the difference?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. It’s prudent
to gain the whole
world and lose your own soul. But don’t forget that your
soul sticks to you if you stick to it; but the world has a way of
slipping through your fingers.
ELLIE
[
wearily, leaving him and beginning to wander rest-
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