George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication



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Bernard Shaw - Pygmalion

checks himself, giving a dubious glance at the wine, and adds,
with quaint intensity.) Will anyone oblige me with a glass of
water?
Essie, who has been hanging on his every word and movement,
rises stealthily and slips out behind Mrs. Dudgeon through the
bedroom door, returning presently with a jug and going out of
the house as quietly as possible.
HAWKINS
. The will is not exactly in proper legal phraseol-
ogy.
RICHARD
. No: my father died without the consolations of
the law.


19
GB Shaw
HAWKINS
. Good again, Mr. Dudgeon, good again. (Pre-
paring to read) Are you ready, sir?
RICHARD
. Ready, aye ready. For what we are about to re-
ceive, may the Lord make us truly thankful. Go ahead.
HAWKINS 
(reading). “This is the last will and testament of
me Timothy Dudgeon on my deathbed at Nevinstown on
the road from Springtown to Websterbridge on this twenty-
fourth day of September, one thousand seven hundred and
seventy seven. I hereby revoke all former wills made by me
and declare that I am of sound mind and know well what I
am doing and that this is my real will according to my own
wish and affections.”
RICHARD 
(glancing at his mother). Aha!
HAWKINS 
(shaking his head). Bad phraseology, sir, wrong
phraseology. “I give and bequeath a hundred pounds to my
younger son Christopher Dudgeon, fifty pounds to be paid
to him on the day of his marriage to Sarah Wilkins if she will
have him, and ten pounds on the birth of each of his chil-
dren up to the number of five.”
RICHARD
. How if she won’t have him?
CHRISTY
. She will if I have fifty pounds.
RICHARD
. Good, my brother. Proceed.
HAWKINS
. “I give and bequeath to my wife Annie Dud-
geon, born Annie Primrose”—you see he did not know the
law, Mr. Dudgeon: your mother was not born Annie: she was
christened so—”an annuity of fifty-two pounds a year for life
(Mrs. Dudgeon, with all eyes on her, holds herself convulsively
rigid) to be paid out of the interest on her own money”—
there’s a way to put it, Mr. Dudgeon! Her own money!
MRS. DUDGEON
. A very good way to put God’s truth. It
was every penny my own. Fifty-two pounds a year!
HAWKINS
. “And I recommend her for her goodness and
piety to the forgiving care of her children, having stood be-
tween them and her as far as I could to the best of my ability.”
MRS. DUDGEON
. And this is my reward! (raging inwardly)
You know what I think, Mr. Anderson you know the word I
gave to it.
ANDERSON
. It cannot be helped, Mrs. Dudgeon. We must
take what comes to us. (To Hawkins.) Go on, sir.
HAWKINS
. “I give and bequeath my house at Websterbridge
with the land belonging to it and all the rest of my property
soever to my eldest son and heir, Richard Dudgeon.”


20
The Devil’s Disciple
RICHARD
. Oho! The fatted calf, Minister, the fatted calf.
HAWBINB
. “On these conditions—”
RICHARD
. The devil! Are there conditions?
HAWKINS
. “To wit: first, that he shall not let my brother
Peter’s natural child starve or be driven by want to an evil
life.”
RICHARD 
(emphatically, striking his fist on the table). Agreed.
Mrs. Dudgeon, turning to look malignantly at Essie, misses her
and looks quickly round to see where she has moved to; then,,
seeing that she has left the room without leave, closes her lips

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