Guide to Informed Choices
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was deeply troubled still himself. We cried as I told him I so wished I could have received some healing with my mother before her death, 20 years after that abortion. During the healing process I pulled my record and read I had given birth to a "perfectly formed male 21 cm crown to rump and 11 oz in weight." I can only imagine the anguish she experienced, seeing her grandson of 20 weeks all burned from the saline abortion. I can only imagine the nightmares she endured and the way she silently suffered for allowing that to happen. Dad said when she came home she cussed him out and did not speak to him for weeks. That was all she ever said to him about that fateful day.
At least we agree on one thing Late-term abortion…should be openly discussed and rationally understood. 514
OUTLAWED IN 2003, CHALLENGED IN 2006, STILL OUTLAWED IN 2007:
Dilation and Extraction (D&X): hat is it and what does it do? Dilation and
Extraction abortions, also referred to as Partial Birth Abortion, involves dilating the cervix, partly delivering the intact body of the fetus (arms, legs and torso) and, while the head is not born yet, a pair of surgical scissors is stuck into the back of the skull and the brain is suctioned to enable the fetus to be fully delivered from the mother. A reminder, also, that these abortions are performed on live fetuses. If the doctor does the same thing but pulls off the arms and the legs first, then it‘s legal — because it is not an ‗intact D&X‘ which is what was recently outlawed.
Witnesses to the procedure relate that the fingers and feet of the fetus are moving prior to the piercing of the skull 515
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—Justice Kennedy, Supreme Court When is it used?
Third trimester abortions Hysterotomy: hat is it and what does it do? Hysterotomy is an uncommon but fully legal procedure that has decreased in popularity due to its high risk. 516
According to an abortion clinic which performs these today, a hysterotomy ―is basically an early cesarean section.‖ 517
The difference is, the baby is not able to survive disconnected from mom‘s life support. If by chance he doesn‘t die immediately, chances are he will die struggling to breathe, from exposure to cold and we have occasional anecdotes of stubborn babies being smothered. One old pro-choice book says that hysterotomy is performed where a saline abortion (and presumably today‘s
other induction abortions) have failed. 518
In other words, it‘s the last chance to have an abortion. The government‘s CDC reported that a partial listing of ―other‖ abortion methods (specifically excluding curettage, medical abortions and induced labor and specifically including hysterotomy and hysterectomy) accounted for 2.1% or 13,916 late abortions in 2005. 519
That‘s a lot for being a supposedly ―rare‖ procedure.
When is it used? Second and third trimester abortions
murder The last time I gave anesthesia for an abortion, it was to be a hysterectomy, because the woman was about 6½ to 7 months pregnant. I put her to sleep as usual, the incision was made in the abdomen, then into the uterus, and a baby was pulled out — I mean a fully developed, moving, breathing baby. It hit me like a ton of bricks — the baby was put into a bucket of water and drowned. I was shaken. I knew at that moment I had stood silently by and condoned murder, not only this time, but many times before. 520
Q. Aren‘t we as women people who hate
bloodshed and
violence?
Reason #49 ―Abortion procedures are cruel‖ W
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Reason #50 Abortion may make you unhappy
Let‘s talk about it! ven pro-choicers admit it. We don‘t talk about abortion like we should. We don‘t allow women the chance to talk about their bad or sad feelings, for fear it would come across as anti-abortion. While pro-choice Naomi Wolf says we need to allow women to express their feelings of ―loss, of death, of mourning,‖ 521
about abortion‘s bad side has been politically useful: Too few prochoice women risk expressing their aversion to abortion in public since it breaks what has been a politically useful, even necessary feminist taboo. 522
Post-Abortion Syndrome, Real or Fake? There are now literally thousands of support groups across America to help women overcome the emotional train wreck of abortion, but no one has found it necessary to help women deal with the emotional toll of letting their children live.
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—Mark Crutcher, Pro-Life Answers
ost Abortion Syndrome (PAS) or Post Abortion Stress Syndrome (PASS) is a name that has been given to describe the psychological side effects of abortion. While not universally recognized, both sides recognize that some women are upset by and have emotional problems following an abortion. Planned Parenthood has long denied that such a condition actually exists. They say that women who have had an abortion "do not suffer adverse psychological effects‖ and ―in fact‖ have higher self-esteem and self-worth than those who have not terminated their babies‘ lives! 524 They go on to state the ―fact‖ that ―anti-abortion groups have invented this condition to further their cause.‖ 525
If post-abortion syndrome is not real there should be no evidence to back it up. Yet there is. But abortion clinics will not say that and are likely to deny that an abortion may cause emotional problems afterward:
Q
: Will I get Post Abortion Syndrome from having an abortion?
A
: "Post abortion syndrome" is something that exists only in the mind of anti-abortion zealots. 526
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Rarely, a clinic will admit that women may have problems: If the feelings you are having are interfering with your ability to function the way you would like to in your life, we suggest that you consider talking to a professional counselor… Whatever you do, please do not sit with your grief until it consumes your life. 527
In contrast, here are a couple of studies pro-life sources like to refer to:
Almost half of all women experience psychological conflicts, such as guilt or regret, for a minimum of 8 weeks. 528
―Almost all‖ women experience some guilt and depression. 529
—British Medical Journal
The American Medical Association still does not recognize a link between abortion and post abortion syndrome… but that doesn‘t mean it‘s not real!
Convicted by their own data! he very liberal Ms.
magazine allows that only 1% of women could possibly suffer ―Severe post-abortion psychological distress.‖ 530 (Whoa, I didn‘t even think they believed in that!) Then we have another pro-choice source which estimates that for 2005, the latest date for which data is available, there were 1.21 million abortions. 531
Women age 24 and under make up 50% of that figure. 532 What
does this all data mean? It means lots. The best case scenario, i.e., the admission of the pro-choice perspective alone
, indicates that…
Every year 12,100
American women suffer severe post-abortion psychological distress. One percent of abortion patients means 6,050 young women under 24 will also be amongst those suffering severe post- abortion psychological distress every year…by the mouth of pro-choicers alone! They also don‘t account for the fact that in any given year there will be other women suffering from abortions in previous years. Severe post-abortion psychological distress is not likely to vanish after a year. The number of women suffering is likely to be in the hundreds of thousands. Just think , if this rate is accurate since abortion was legalized, that means that for the approaching 50 million abortions 533
500,000 women have silently suffered ―severe post-abortion psychological distress‖ …and that‘s according to 1% figures produced by pro-choicers themselves ! This does not take into account repeat T
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abortions, so, strictly following this pro- choice logic, their number may not be quite as high. Even so, it‘s bound to be a high cost that American women have paid. What would the real numbers be, with prolife figures included?
The 1% of aborting women that Ms.
magazine admits experience problems excludes everyone else who experiences ―mild
to moderate‖ post-abortion psychological distress. Just because you don‘t seek extreme professional help like Sheila did doesn‘t mean you aren‘t hurting: ―At one point I even sought professional psychiatric help, because I felt like I was really going crazy.‖ So if you aren‘t lining up for the psychiatric ward, what are some of the milder indicators of PAS? The post abortion ministry, called Safehaven, includes the following symptoms on their website:
re-experiencing the abortion
sudden and uncontrollable crying
"Anniversary Syndrome" (an increase of symptoms around the time of the anniversary of the abortion and/or the due date of the aborted child)
development of eating disorders
alcohol and drug abuse
deterioration of self-esteem
disruption of the bonding process with present or future children
other self-punishing or self-degrading behaviors: abusive
relationships, promiscuity, failing to take care of yourself medically or deliberately hurting yourself emotionally and/or physically 534
The problems are real The quick change in hormone levels after you‘ve had the abortion may cause mood changes and leave you feeling a ―little blue‖ or depressed. 535
linics will claim that it‘s purely hormonal. While the sudden end to your pregnancy no doubt changes the hormones in your body, and may play a part in feeling moody, there is no doubt that such hormonal shifts cannot be held responsible for a lifetime of pain, upset, depression and sorrow. We live in interrelated worlds — our body affects our mind and our mind affects our body. But that doesn‘t mean that we can or should just write off any post-abortion feelings as ―hormones.‖ I am not claiming that all women experience PAS, but undeniably, many women who have had abortions do indeed describe having those symptoms of PAS. Here are some experiences of women who C
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have written to me: Denise
became an addict: However, after telling my Mom, she said, "Denise, you're only 16, you have your whole life ahead of you..." She told me to have this operation, forget about it, and get on with my life. After the abortion I tried — becoming a drug addict and alcoholic, letting myself go, and looking for love in all the wrong places.
Cindy got into abusive situations: I tried to forget about all of it by a lot of partying in college, hanging out with not- so-good friends, and making very poor choices in my dating relationships. And when I mean poor, I‘m talking emotionally abusive (and somewhat physically abusive) guys, and over-controlling guys… so over- controlling that I even had to get a personal protection order against one boyfriend. My self-esteem was that low that I put up with anything. I didn‘t think I deserved anyone good anymore. I tried to numb my feelings with alcohol too. I don‘t have many good memories during that time in my life. Finally, I came to a point where I just couldn‘t handle the nightmares, the thoughts of how old my child would‘ve been, and the depressing life that I was living. I decided that I should tell other girls the truth about abortion and its aftermath, so that at least they could have all the facts in front of them before making a decision. I wouldn‘t wish for anyone to go through what I had experienced.
Hope developed an eating problem: In July 2004, I had Gastric Bypass Surgery and as of now, November 2008, I have lost over 300 lbs. That weight I gained over all the years was like a cover for me. I didn‘t want to feel the pain of the abortion any longer. I have been denied plastic surgery two different times. I need to have this skin removed so that I can become healthier. Because of a job change, I no longer have insurance. So here I am with no husband, no children, and am all into my work that I have no time for myself. I did graduate from college in 2006. I just wish that I could really truly be happy... way down deep in my heart.
Carol
got
into self-punishing relationships: Life went on for 13 years. In that time I left the church. People walked all over me, but that was okay, ‘cause I didn‘t deserve any better treatment. Mike was the same way. We were a mess. But we did the best we could. We never talked about it, but we were both deeply affected and it spilled out into every area of our lives. Mike was finally tired of our mess and decided to leave me. 536
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Tena suffered with depression, weight issues and sexual issues: I suffered severe depression and gained a lot of weight. I lost interest in everything I used to like to do. Sexual intimacy became repulsive. Somehow, I just kept waking up day after day, going through the motions.
Nicole considered suicide as a way out: It took years to come out from under the shadow of that horrible decision to take a life. A decision that I thought would solve my problem at the time just added a log to the fire to create many more troubles. During that time I began contemplating a suicide attempt, and several times I had to fight off thoughts about killing myself. It was my faith in God that kept me from that.
hurts women – and has the courage to print it It‘s the kind of situation that makes pro- choicers cringe. When one of their own sets out to prove once and for all that abortion is harmless — but finds otherwise... ―I‘m very much pro-choice, and when we did the research I was very much convinced that abortion didn‘t have any harmful effects. So from a personal point of view, I would have rather seen the results come out the other way but they didn‘t, and as a scientist you have to report the facts, not what you‘d like to report.‖ 537
These are the words of New Zealand researcher, Professor David Fergusson. His research followed 500 women from birth to age 25, and found that those who were post-abortive were one and a half times more likely to suffer a mental illness. Does it surprise you that many many journals refused to publish the report, even though it was by one of their own? The results they hadn‘t wanted to see in print? ―Those having an abortion had elevated rates of subsequent mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, suicidal behaviors and substance use disorders.‖ 538
Abortion clinics explain it ―This is normal.‖ ‗―Don't confuse "sad" with "bad."‖ ―Abortion is normal‖ 539
ow does one clinic explain your feelings of grief (their word) after an abortion? ―When you have an abortion you are giving something up — you are deciding to intervene and not have a child right now.‖ 540
‗Intervening,‘ in this case, is a code word for sucking out your growing baby out of your body, while still alive — though not for long. That‘s one way not to have a child right now! H
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Many clinics now have sections on their website referring to ―After Abortion Feelings‖ or ―Taking care of yourself after your abortion.‖ Yet most clinics do not address this seriously either. Descriptions are usually along the lines of mostly relief, maybe a bit of bleeding, a little tired or hungry, you could be a little down for a few days, but you should be fine after that. Some go as far as to outright deny that you could have serious emotional reactions to abortion: ―Emotional reactions are uncommon and if they occur, they usually go away quickly.‖ 541
Or rarely, as this quote shows, the clinic is more honest, though keep in mind they are the ones that caused the problem in the first place: ―If you are having emotional or spiritual pain after an abortion, there is a healing process.‖ 542
And how about this advice? This is one of three reasons why she might feel bad afterwards: Negative feelings could last longer if she has not had much practice making major life decisions or already has serious emotional problems.‖ 543
are sad after their abortion? Under, ―What should I expect after abortion?‖ The
National Abortion Federation says women may have difficulty after an abortion due to:
to obtain abortion care.
―Feeling alone while making an important decision.
abortion may be stigmatized.‖ 544
Notice there is no mention of grief at realizing that your abortion killed a baby not a blob.
Did abortion make these women happy? personally corresponded with the women in this book and I can say with certainty, abortion did not make these
have had an abortion if they knew they would feel like this?
That was when I started to cry. Not like the screaming crying, but real tears of heartache. —Violet
I have never been the same, and for years I would sit in a corner of a room and cry for hours. God has forgiven me but it took me years to forgive myself, and the pain lives forever. —Lana I
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No amount of time will ever heal these wounds that I carry.
—Rhonda For many years I was depressed and had suicidal thoughts. I am a changed person, and I don't think I will ever get over having an abortion. —Christy
I took care of the problem, and in doing so I would never be the same. I felt awful, disgusted, ashamed, damaged, sick, and I hated myself for what I had done. —Becky
I didn't like myself, or the world we lived in. I had no hope for the future. —Jane
I managed to get to my bed and let out heartfelt sobs for what I had just seen and what I had done. One of the pregnant ladies came over to me and asked if I wanted to go for a walk with her. I couldn‘t speak. …When I got home I just sat on the sofa. I couldn‘t eat nothing. HOW COULD I ? I
didn‘t deserve to eat. That night was the worst. I was even scared to go to the toilet, in case what I saw wasn‘t my baby, even though deep down I knew it was. When I finally did allow myself to go, I saw something else that frightened the life out of me. I didn‘t know what it was, but it distressed me a great deal. I refused to go back to the toilet after that. The next day I was still not eating and still deeply upset. About the following day, mum had got some wine. I was tempted to take the whole pack of pain killers the nurse had given me and drink them down with a bottle of wine, but for some reason I didn‘t. —Hayley
Quotable Quote ―Pro-life here until no more children die, no more women cry." -Pro Life rallying cry
Reason #50 ―Abortion often leaves women feeling worse than it finds them‖
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Reason #51 Abortion creates secrets, suppression and denial
Abortion may hide one secret but creates another much worse
or Adena, it was a secret never mentioned again. ―When I was 16 years old I killed a baby, and I kept it a secret for more than 20 years… W E NEVER SPOKE OF IT AGAIN .
For Sheila, it was a secret that no one else could know about. This choice remained a deep secret in my life for 14 years — only my husband and best girlfriend knew about it. I had no idea this secret would affect so many areas of my life and other choices I would make. I was extremely paranoid that somebody would find out my secret, and did everything in my power to cover myself and make sure that would never happen. I suffered panic attacks within me but I made sure nobody could see them on the outside. I wouldn‘t allow my husband to see who I really was — I refused to be open and honest with him about anything, especially my ―secret‖ and how I felt about it — we never spoke about the abortion for the first 8 years we were together. I was a nice person so I never got ―angry‖ — I got depressed. —Sheila
For Yoli, it was a secret never to be discussed again. I went ahead with the "procedure" and the father and I never talked about it again. It was as if it never happened. We would go on with our lives... Oh, how I would come to regret that decision. —Yoli
ashamed to share with her own fiancé or mother.
I told my fiancé that I had an ectopic pregnancy and the same to my mom. I am so ashamed of what I have done. —Maria
For Tena it was a secret that took 28 years to discuss with her father. (See Reason #49: Abortion procedures are brutal
for more on Tena‘s induction abortion.)
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Abortion clinics encourage this silence! While this abortion clinic writes , ―The silence around abortion hurts us all ,‖
they assume women will need secrecy, so no one else using the abortion clinic can see them: A private abortion allows you and your support person to be escorted directly into your own room, where you can stay throughout your visit without repeat trips to the more public waiting area. The staff and physician will come to your private room, and you will have your entire visit—from paperwork to counseling to the abortion itself—in a room of your own. …Please note that these specialty visits are somewhat more expensive. 546
Then there‘s the abortion clinic that requests women don‘t talk about why they are there (and as far as I can tell that‘s all they do): Please do not discuss the reason for your visit in public areas. 547
This same place also suggests that the abortion can be disguised from other people: It is easy to disguise your symptoms as a bad period or an early miscarriage. 548
Suppression raumatic and stressful situations can do weird things to your emotions. It‘s kind of like survival. You turn off, tune out, disassociate yourself or switch off. It‘s too much to deal with. So, you don‘t.
Carol
purposely ‗forgot.‘ God created us humans with the ability to survive just about anything. So I had to figure out how to survive. In order to do this, I forgot! I slipped into denial so deep, I really did forget. Well, 99% forgot. One tiny little piece of me always knew. But for all practical purposes, I couldn‘t remember. I was so deep into denial that when the topic ever came up, due to news or politics, I went stupid. Didn‘t hear, didn‘t answer, totally ignored the conversation. Just kinda zoned out. But once, I remember being pushed for an answer on the topic. I don‘t remember what I tried to say, but I remember when the word abortion tried to come out of my mouth, I literally gagged and ran to the bathroom and vomited. 549
Christine shut off her emotions. I was spiritually and mentally numb. I shut off my emotions because I knew what was ―right‖ in my heart, but I wasn‘t willing to adjust my life… After my T
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abortion I became the master of disguising my pain and ―stuffing‖ my feelings… I experienced an overwhelming sadness at the realization that I had made the wrong decision and that the decision was irreversible. I had willingly and knowingly changed the course of my life as well as affecting the lives of many others. I tried to forget the baby and the abortion. The only problem was that I couldn‘t forget. The feelings didn‘t go away and they eventually manifested themselves into other areas of my life — sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. —Christine
Rhonda became a closed person. Years went by of depression, anxiety and fear. I was a closed person. Numb in my head and brain — just walking through life, not living. I am 45 years old now. When I was 40 I finally came to the realization of my abortion and was able to mourn. 21 years after my abortion, 21 long and silent and painful years of keeping my secret locked up inside of me. If I had to do everything all over again I would have reached out to God, taken His hand and let Him lead me. Instead, I took the hand of the world and let it destroy my life for a long time. —Rhonda
Kathy
buried all memory of it. No one, however, told me that the guilt and shame of it would last for years. I buried all memory of it, or so I thought. At odd times, small memories would come to the surface. —Kathy
Jane stayed high to keep from feeling anything. There was something very wrong inside me. I was even physically ill for a time, an illness the doctor apparently thought was psychosomatic judging by the placebo he prescribed for me. Eventually those feelings went away or sunk so far inside that I didn't even know they were there anymore. And just to make sure I didn't feel them, I stayed high on pot, cocaine and anything else anyone offered me for the next 8 or 9 years. —Jane
Yoli
could never openly grieve. Pretending that it never happened didn‘t work very well. I cried all the time. Over the years, when I was all alone, I would break down seemingly for no reason. Sometimes I cried so hard I couldn‘t go to work the next day. My eyes would puff up so much, I looked like an alien. My soul knew my pain and it was weeping for my lost child... This lie ate me up inside. From the outside, it was a different story. It looked like I had it all together. I always had a job,
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a car, nice clothes and lots of stuff. I had a man in my life and we traveled. I told myself I was happy, and why shouldn‘t I be? Well the reality is, I always wanted kids and I wanted to be married, but I did something very wrong. I could not admit it because that would make me a monster. What kind of woman kills her own baby? Isn‘t that the worst possible crime? I had to protect myself. We were told a fetus was just tissue; that it wasn‘t yet a life. I was afraid so I believed the lie. —Yoli
Study reveals high avoidance levels among women who abort A recent Norwegian study compared the mental health of women who had had miscarriages to those who had had abortions. Now, this is an interesting topic because it‘s a parallel some clinics like to draw, attempting to make induced abortion seem more ‗natural‘.
The women were interviewed at 10 days, 6 months, 2 years and 5 years after the end of their pregnancy. They were rated (in most cases by themselves) in areas of intrusions, avoidance, quality of life, anxiety and depression, relief, grief, loss, guilt and shame.
The largest discrepancy between the two groups was in the area of avoidance of thoughts and feelings related to the incident. Both groups reported high levels of avoidance, although the abortion group
led the
way. Interestingly, at the end of the 5-year period the abortion group was 8 times higher than the miscarriage group, which had decreased to almost nil. 550
What this says to me is that many women who
undergo abortions experience difficulty in processing the event and choose to avoid feeling or thinking about it, even after 5 years. To me, this indicates an unresolved issue.
or Carol
, it was afterwards that she realized how much denial was created. Since then I‘ve come to realize just how much denial, guilt, pain and shame was created when I had the abortion. 551
For Sally
, her denial ended when she faced up to it. Even though I experienced the hardest time of my life — coming face to face with the reality that I paid for the death of my first child, was in the room when it happened, allowed violence to be done to the child I was supposed to protect. I am F
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glad that at least I did face up to the truth — after all, anyone who stays in denial for anything, to the very end, never sees freedom. Coming to grips with what really happened on the abortion table those many years ago was painful, and I can never go back and change that terrible day when I coldly chose death for my child, but I'm glad I faced up to it all the way.
One of the reasons that it is so very hard to come to terms with one‘s abortion is that it is either very right or very wrong. It is either a woman‘s right. Period. Or it is killing your own child. A pretty terrible deed if I ever saw one. Nobody wants to face up to that kind of a past (and I wouldn't either) which is one reason that denial is so big. However, running from your past or present doesn‘t set you free; it only creates more problems. Facing up to an unplanned pregnancy or a past abortion might be difficult now, but avoids creating psychological hang ups in the long run.
A post abortion counselor encounters a woman with no regrets
A most interesting thing happened. At the end of my talk a woman came to speak to me (usually happens) and she told me about her own abortion 20 years earlier and she assured me that she had not suffered adversely and had processed it back then. Of course when someone comes to me with this I immediately know that she has not processed it at all but just ―shut it away.‖ I thanked her for sharing and told her how pleased I am that she is well and asked what gender was her baby, and quick as shot she said, ―It was a boy.‖ Again I spoke gently about how lovely it was that she had a son who is with God, and proceeded to ask her had she named him and again, quick as a shot, she said ―Alistair,‖ and then she looked straight at me and the tears rolled and rolled and rolled as if a dam had opened up and spilled years of accumulation of lacrimae [tears].
She then looked sadly at me and said ―Maybe I have never dealt with it, have I?‖ ―No, you haven‘t‖ said I, and we went off together for several hours and I let her speak; and because she is a grief counselor herself, she understood the need to conclude her little boy‘s story. We have promised to keep in touch. 552
who herself is post-abortive
Reason #51 ―Using abortion to hide one secret creates a secret much worse‖
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Reason #52 Suppression leads to anger, depression and forbidden grief
Depression and anger based on unresolved psychology hough openly she rationalized the abortion, Sabrina
was becoming depressed For many years I believed the lies told to me by the abortionist, I rationalized that I had done the right thing, while all the time my self-worth deteriorated. I was deeply depressed and became suicidal. The result of my legal abortion was a spiraling down of my self-worth that led to three suicide attempts.
Donniel
became deeply depressed, even attempting suicide. I left the building, looking at each woman in the waiting room and tried to tell them to run away and don‘t look back. But I couldn‘t speak. It was at that moment that I fell into a deep depression. I was so ashamed and embarrassed. After all, I killed my baby. I tried killing myself several times to no avail… I still struggle quite a bit with the decision I made and the serious depression it has caused.
Adena
suffered periods of anger and depression. Even though I rarely thought about my abortion, hiding it deep within, I suffered periods of DEPRESSION AND ANGER . I thought that these issues were because of PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES and it wasn‘t until the Lord drew me to a place in my life, where I was willing to see my abortion through God‘s eyes, did I realize how connected it all was. God has been faithful to forgive me, love me and restore me. I still
LIVE EVERY DAY with the knowledge that I committed the most violent of acts that any human can commit against another, the taking of a life. I can never change that.
Wendy
struggled with depression, anger and addiction. I wrestled with depression, addiction and anger for the next twenty years. My anger alienated me from my husband, my children and many others. The depression debilitated me at times, even hospitalizing me more than once. Addiction plagued me as I desperately sought relief from the anger and guilt I felt. Every November I thought of the baby I aborted. T
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…Fast-forward to one day when a friend of mine told me about a Bible study called Binding Up the Brokenhearted. I agreed to go through it with her. She also had an abortion and had been affected over the last 20 years as well. Upon reading the third chapter, I came face to face with the anger issue I had allowed to take such deep root in my being. I have spent the last three years allowing myself to heal. I am being reconciled to my two children and have been reconciled to my husband. I have not had an anger issue for almost three years. This doesn‘t say I don‘t get angry, but anger does not rule my life. Anger will kill you. It will destroy relationships and opportunities in life. Anger will alienate you to the point of wanting to commit suicide. I have been set free from anger now, but it was through much prayer and choosing to change my behaviors. I no longer expect others to fix my pain and I do not turn to drugs, food, anger or other substances for comfort.
Kathy became angry, fearful and depressed. Angry outbursts were commonplace. Fear of God taking away my only child left me immobile. I crawled into bed, pulled the covers over my head and stayed there for months, battling crippling depression.
A grief you are not supposed to feel arol
couldn‘t tell anyone.
Sometimes, it feels like no one can understand your pain, because you are not supposed to have any. The feelings I had isolated me because I was too afraid to tell anyone. I didn‘t know how they would react. If they were pro-choice, they wouldn‘t expect me to feel any pain; if they were pro-life, then I must be the enemy.
Rachel
couldn‘t let go. I was unable to let go, to move on. I needed desperately to grieve the loss of the baby, but how could I? I had went on my own two feet to get that ―taken care of;‖ how could I possibly think that I had any right to grieve? 553
Yoli carried her pain and grief with her. I never openly grieved because I stuffed it down so deep, it couldn‘t get out. The pain was literally crying to get out. I felt unworthy and was depressed. I desperately needed healing, but I could not grieve or heal while living a lie... When my partner died in 2000, not only did I grieve for him, but I began an agonizing process that would unleash 23 years of suppressed grief for my baby. C
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Becky carried her shame and guilt with her.
I never realized the impact that the secret shame, guilt, disgust, remorse and stifled grief I carried with me for years upon years had on me… I never realized this until I got counseling and help through a post-abortion ministry called the Healing Hearts. It is only by God‘s grace that I can write about any of this today.
When
Jane finally woke up she mourned for what had happened so many years ago. It wasn't until I was pregnant with my third child that I realized what I had done, some 20 years earlier. One morning God woke me up from a deep sleep and revealed to me the horror of it all. I mourned for my baby, the baby I would never hold. It was devastating, like it had just happened yesterday, not 20 years ago. I cried all the time, but only when I was alone, because I thought it was silly to be upset over something that had happened so long ago and that I couldn't change.
Cindy
carried her baggage and found other women who did: I‘ve now been volunteer counseling for 10 years and have led post-abortion support groups for the last 3 years. And with all the women I have met, I have yet to find a woman who was glad she had an abortion. In fact, many of the women‘s stories are much more depressing than mine. Most women carry the baggage of shame for an average of 7 years before getting help.
Tip: for post abortion contacts go to the resources section at the end of this book.
Reason #52 ―Abortion often
creates depression, anger and forbidden grief‖
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Reason #53 The fetus can feel pain
And the first sense is… ouch? You guessed it! Not sight or hearing, but touch. 554 It is through touch that we experience both pain and pleasure on a physical level. We discuss your baby‘s touch in detail in
Reason #55: Your unborn child can feel, taste, smell, hear and see , but we‘ll also ‗touch‘ on it here. Just like with us, the fetus‘ lips are one of her more sensitive parts. At only 8 weeks old they are responsive to touch. 555
The other sensitive parts are the rest of the face, palms of the hands, soles of the feet and genitals. 556 What about the rest of the body? It slowly catches up! One source reports that the fetus can feel touch all over his body — apart from the back and top of his head — by week 17. 557 Another source puts this stage earlier at 13½-14 weeks. 558
Complete feeling is said to be achieved by week 20. 559
A different source says 23-27 weeks.
560
The fetus is more sensitive than adults Unborn children can experience pain even more so than adults, as the baby has more pain receptors per square inch than at any other time in its
life . 561
—Sam Brownback, American politician, 1956
As a fetus you have a greater concentration of pain receptors than you will ever have in adulthood. The peak of these occurs in weeks 20-30, and during this time we know that the fetus not only can feel, but can feel more intensely than an adult. 562 I would think the reason for this concentration of pain receptors is that they are all present but in such a small body they are necessarily close together; and when you grow, they would grow further apart.
developed pain blocking system
In fact, anatomical evidence suggests that the unborn child is more sensitive to pain than the rest of us; the inhibitory pathways that block incoming pain do not develop until after birth. 563
—Thomas R Verny, Tomorrow's Baby
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s I researched this topic, one thing that surprised me is that the fetus is actually more likely to experience pain than pleasure. The reason for this is that ―Key nerve tracts that carry pain signals from the spinal cord to the lower centers of the brain are laid down in the nervous system between the second and fourth months of gestation.‖ 564 That‘s between 8 and 16 weeks, and close to the time that the majority of abortions happen. So, in fact, the body systems that carry pain signals are ready before the systems that carry endorphins (feel-good hormones). The endorphin network doesn‘t become operational until around 16 weeks; that‘s 8 weeks after the pain system has already started. 565
We used to think we knew everything ere‘s a little interesting bit of trivia for you. Did you know that as late as 1987 doctors believed that newborns couldn‘t actually feel pain? 566
Yes, that‘s right. Back then, newborns were subjected to painful surgery without anesthetics because, after all, they couldn‘t feel pain. Incredibly though, the babies were still drugged to immobilize them during surgery. This sounds very barbaric, yet today we are in the same situation with the fetus. Who knows how barbaric today‘s procedures will look in another 30 years? Fortunately, newborns and many fetuses are receiving anesthesia for their surgery. Unfortunately, aborted babies the same age are given no such mercy.
How might a fetus express pain? f he can‘t talk and we can‘t hear him, how do we know if he‘s hurting or not? There are other things we can look at. For example, the fetus‘s levels of stress hormones go up. In one study there was a 600% increase after taking fetal blood, a procedure most of us wouldn‘t find pleasant. 567
Further information showed that when pain killers were given the stress response of the fetus was halved. 568
This indicates that the unborn child is stressed by painful procedures and does better with pain killers. The rise in hormones is exactly what you‘d find with a feeling adult who was also in pain. No one likes surgery and that seems to include the fetus! There is an anecdotal story of a little girl who needed fluid removed from her lungs but kept moving away from the doctors. In the end she had to be paralyzed in order to give her life- saving treatment so she could make it to birth.
569 Similar behavior was noticed in a study that tracked the fetus‘s response to the amniocentesis needle. It‘s not painful A H
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but it‘s a scary looking needle, so it should be no surprise that the fetuses moved away from it, covered themselves or even tried to kick the needle — and all this while their eyes hadn‘t developed enough to open! 570
geared to defend himself like this, would he not also be able to feel pain? In an actual example, babies born prematurely at 23 weeks gestation respond to heel pricks with demonstrations of pain — clenched hands, leg withdrawal and facial grimaces. 571
In another case, an anesthesiologist witnessed a fetus the same age flinch
during fetal
surgery. 572
Remember that most other human babies are still fetuses at this point and elective abortions are performed later than this.
But couldn‘t these be a reflex? ow, you might be thinking, okay, well, these responses might all be a reflex, you know. Like, he might actually be feeling no pain in reality. Well, it‘s possible, but let‘s not be too hasty here. The reaction you see in an 8-week-old embryo, moving from whatever is touching them could be an automatic movement, but that doesn‘t discount pain. If you accidentally prick a baby with a diaper pin he‘s going to automatically recoil in the same way, and yet we don‘t think, ‗Oh, it‘s alright, he can‘t feel anything, it‘s just a reflex.‘
573
Besides, if the fetus could not and was not
experiencing anything, why would his brain respond (causing a change in blood flow or hormones, movement or facial grimace)? 574
Those responses are what you would expect from a person. If we can‘t prove the fetus feels pain, we certainly can‘t prove that she doesn‘t. In fact, the evidence all points to her feeling.
Different historical period, same ignorance
―Many 19th-century doctors believed blacks were indifferent to pain and performed surgery on them without even that
era‘s rudimentary anesthesia.‖ 575
— The New York Times Magazine , 2008
Pro-choicers perspective on fetal pain hat do pro-choicers have to say about this? At least they do admit, ―The question of fetal pain is an unavoidable issue.‖ 576
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mean they care. ―We don‘t have to demonstrate that abortion is painless in order to defend its constitutionality.‖ 577
ludicrous when you consider that even premature babies have definite pain responses. ―It is even possible that a fetus is unable to perceive pain at any time during pregnancy.‖ 578
A further pro-choice argument is that the fetus might die before he realizes he‘s being killed (which is ridiculous, since even animals realize
they are
at the
slaughterhouse): Fetuses biochemical responses to painful events may be delayed due to slower transmissions of information to the brain. If so, faster methods of abortion, such as the D&X procedure, might circumvent the pain problem by causing the fetus to die more quickly than its nervous system can effectively transmit sensory information to the brain. 579 (D&X refers to partial-birth abortion.)
Let me respond to that argument for a moment. Before a D&X abortion, the fetus is aware, because he is kicking his legs and clasping and unclasping his little fingers (remember, those are the bits that get delivered – that‘s why it‘s called partial- birth). When the surgical scissors are stuck into his brain the fetus throws his arms and legs out ―like a startle reaction, like a flinch‖ as
one experienced nurse observed. 580 Yes, he knows something‘s happening, even if he doesn‘t know that in the next second the abortionist will suck out his brain and crush his skull. (Ewww, that‘s gross, isn‘t it?) It would be fair to note that this procedure has been outlawed — but also to note that the reason we are talking about it in the first place is that a pro-choice book says this method may be preferable pain-wise. It makes you wonder what the other procedures are like!
The Silent Scream emember the ―Silent Scream‖ — that famous video of a 12-week abortion taped on ultrasound? After seeing it the abortionist never performed another abortion. 581
Remember the open mouth — hey, I couldn‘t see it but those 2D ultrasounds never did much for me anyhow. Anyway, even if he was screaming his little heart out, you would hear nothing since there is no air in the womb (or the fetus‘ lungs for that matter) and air is required for creating sound. What would happen if there were air? You could hear the fetus — and what a surprising thing that would be! 582
In fact it‘s not just theory. In the rare case that a medical procedure has introduced air into the womb the fetus has actually been heard wailing. 583
But, back to the Silent Scream. Planned R
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Parenthood was correct in pointing out that a scream cannot be made without air, but that technicality doesn‘t mean that the fetus wasn‘t trying to mouth a scream. 584
After all, that‘s why it‘s called the Silent
They also point out that premature babies can‘t scream . 585
Now that is true. They are very often weak and delicate and their lungs are not fully prepared for air breathing. But it‘s also true that the fetus practices breathing movements from week 12 and that he has been seen on modern ultrasound in the third trimester making all the correct motions for crying. 586
Planned Parenthood…says that we are just witnessing a reflex. I don‘t buy that.
Despite the fact that I couldn‘t make out the mouth, the fetus certainly appeared distressed. I say that because before the abortion you could see him on the screen just making these random movements. Then all of a sudden when the suction tube comes in range (okay, I did make that out), he starts moving about violently in what looks like an attempt to move in the opposite direction to the
suction machine.
587 Planned Parenthood, who claims this is pro-life propaganda, says that we are just witnessing a reflex. 588 I don‘t buy that. Planned Parenthood says, ―At this stage of pregnancy, all fetal movement is reflexive in nature‖ and they also cite thumb sucking as an example. How can anyone prove that the fetus doesn‘t suck his thumb for pleasure or that he doesn‘t enjoy it? Just because it develops a useful biological function of teaching him to suck doesn‘t mean it doesn‘t bring him comfort, as it does after birth. It seems Professor of Neurology Dr. Richard Restak agrees with me: ―Even the fetus it seems, requires comfort, solace, some sense of meaning, even though that meaning at such an early stage
may involve
nothing more
complicated than the feel of its own thumb.‖
589
In promoting the view of Planned Parenthood, a reviewer on Amazon.com declared that the fetus could not possibly feel pain at this age because there is ―no way of getting the signal from still- developing pain-receptive nerves to the brain.‖
590 But, I ask, if there is no way messages could get to the brain, why is he moving and why did his heart rate shoot up?
See
also Reason
#49: Abortion procedures are brutal
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For a clinic worker‘s experience of a similar experience with watching an abortion see Reason #8: If only you could see what she looks like
developed for the fetus to feel pain?
Thousands of abortions may cause pain to the unborn child, say doctors preparing to debate the contentious issue of "fetal awareness". 591
may feel
pain of
abortion,‖ Telegraph.co.uk
he question of reflexes is really the question of brain. Some people say that the fetus cannot perceive pain because his brain is still developing. It‘s true that the brain is developing, but there are no agreed-upon timelines for exactly what has to happen. For the fetus to feel pain the message must travel from the pain sensors to the spinal cord and up to the thalamus, then through to the cortex. At least, that‘s how we think it happens. Another idea is that the thalamus is able to process the nerve signals and send a response back to the muscles. 592
That makes sense in that the fetus responds before his cortex has developed — and I say something had to send his nerves a message to move his arm away!
What‘s developed when? The brain actually is the first organ to start developing. At 3 weeks the embryo first looks like a rolled-up zipper mostly done up. What you are seeing is the spinal cord — and a future brain on top.
Specifically, The spinal cord (highway for the nerves) begins at 3 weeks. 593
The nerve cells (the components of the brain and nervous system) begin at 4 or 5 weeks and are not finished until 18 weeks.
594
The thalamus (a part of the brain and bridge between the cortex and sensory information) begins forming at week 8. 595
The cortex (logical thought center) begins in week 8. 596
The connections between the thalamus and cortex occur around week 23. 597
For more on brain development see Reason #15 .
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Let‘s talk about the cortex — do you need one to feel? octors have always assumed that no one could possibly function without a cortex, yet a recent study of hydranencephalic children suggests otherwise. 598 (Children born with this condition are
missing a part of their brain.) 599 Swedish neuroscientist Bjorn Merker studied a group of hydranencephalic children at Disney Land, observing them to be responsive by laughing, crying, smiling, fussing and appearing alert and aware — all this, without a cortex. 600 The
New York Times
commented, ―The possibility of consciousness without a cortex may also influence our opinion of what a fetus can feel.‖
601 This, after all, is what people point to, saying that the fetus is not intelligent and cannot feel pain.. Parents of hydranencephalic children also observe that they can still experience something of life with their limited faculties. The International Hydra- nencephaly Support Group says: It seems that they rely largely on their brainstems for relating to their
surroundings, for expressing themselves and
for their
various emotional reactions….Although it is often thought that someone has to have a cortex in order to be aware and interact with their environment, children with
Hydra- nencephaly prove otherwise. 602
Can pain be experienced without a cortex? Barb Alemán, parent and founder of the support group mentioned above, says, ―Yes, in my experience children with Hydranencephaly feel pain like any other child. They also have the same emotions as any other child. Some children are less responsive than others, but yes, they do experience pain.‖ 603
be aware, then why can‘t a fetus without a cortex (or without nerve connections to the cortex)? So, remember, we‘re responding to Planned Parenthood‘s arguments and we‘re talking about what a fetus needs to perceive pain. We just looked at the possibility of feeling and awareness without a cortex. Now let‘s look at just how important it is that the nerve cells be myelinated. It‘s not as black and white as you might think.
Does the fetus need myelinated nerves to feel pain?
erve cells
carry messages. Myelination is the body‘s way of insulating part of the nerve cell in order to make the electrical impulses or messages more effective and efficient. 604 It‘s
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basically insulation for electrical wiring, inside of you. You might remember people saying, a fetus can‘t perceive pain because his nerves aren‘t myelinated. Well, they are mostly correct, but here are some points not taken into account: 1. ―Although myelin is extremely important, some current gets through without myelin.‖ 605
Wow, I never knew that. 2. The more impulses are sent the more the nerves are myelinated. 606
Huh,
interesting. 3. Some unmyelinated cells can still carry massages, although they are much slower – about 10 times slower. 607
I thought it was impossible without myelin. 4. Nerves connecting to internal organs are never myelinated. 608
I guess that makes sense. 5. Some nerves are myelinated at a few weeks old, while others are not fully finished until puberty. 609
happens gradually.
Language and socialization not necessary for pain experience hose people who can‘t argue that the fetus doesn‘t respond and can‘t win the cortex/myelination argument change their reasoning. They say pain is something you have to learn to understand. Do you believe that? I don‘t. True, it‘s subjective and depends on your personal pain threshold, but I don‘t buy that the fetus has no sense of what is going on. You don‘t need ‗language‘ or ‗interaction‘ to feel pain, as Stuart Derbyshire suggests. 610 A newborn pricked with a needle needs no one to inform him that what he indeed is feeling in the left heel is to be interpreted as pai,n and that he should let out a loud wail as a socially appropriate response to that pain. Nor does he need language to comprehend or express his discomfort — he just opens his mouth and out it comes. Time and experience are not requirements for feeling pain. While psychological pain is one thing, physical pain is another. 611
I debate Derbyshire who says that the fetus has no language skills and therefore does not know the difference between ― ‗large or small, hot or cold, red or green‘ or, Derbyshire argues, painful or pleasant.‖ 612
not know the names
for things. However, that does not mean that in the absence of knowing ‗that thing is called green‘ that he only sees black and white — or just ‗white‘ — but even that is a tone! It is a bit like saying a tourist trying a new Chinese dish cannot know the difference between two dishes or tell them apart, because he does T
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not know what they are called in Chinese or how to pronounce their names. Now, following this researcher‘s own logic about the fetus needing experience and language, he says that babies can‘t feel pain until they are 1-year-old. 613
The timeline may be a bit extended, he admits, but ―who knows when the light finally switches on?‖ 614 Yes, who indeed knows? Actually, ask any parent of a newborn child, Derbyshire. Or my husband. As a baby, he passed out while being
circumcised without anesthetic. It is claims like this that make you wonder whether some people ever switched on the light bulb themselves. It should be noted, as I later found out, that this fellow actually worked as a consultant for Planned Parenthood at one time, which perhaps his explains his biased viewpoint. 615
pediatrician, neuroscientist or medical doctor — and yet, he‘s quoted in major newspapers as an expert on fetal pain.
Awareness of pain goes beyond an intellectual awareness he main argument against fetal pain is that the fetus is not aware, and therefore everything he does — even if it looks like he‘s in pain — is just an automatic, non-thinking motion, a reflex. But this also assumes that we are our brain and that our brain is our source of consciousness, something not every truth seeker will identify with. As we see in Reason #87 , brain and consciousness is a complex topic. It‘s a lot more than just gray matter. There is brain awareness, then there is body intelligence, and there is also the mind that is capable of outer body experiences as well as the soul. Like consciousness, pain awareness is not a switch that suddenly turns on one day, nor is it isolated in a little section of the brain. Instead, anecdotal stories suggest that the fetus becomes aware during pregnancy and, at the very least, has a soul memory.
For the believers it may be all that is needed to confirm that a fetus has memory and feeling
Take Gianna, who was aborted but survived the saline abortion. A nurse took pity on her and she lived. Let me recall for you an incident from when Gianna was four years old. Her adopted parents had taken her to visit some friends at the log cabin they were staying in. Nobody was prepared for Gianna‘s reaction.
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After seeing their wood fire she started screaming, in terror, says the story. She was hysterical and had to be carried out and comforted and reassured. When she had calmed down she was brought back inside, but again started crying. Her parents had to leave early. Gianna became upset around any campfire, open fire and fire in a fireplace. Even loud, roaring sounds in movies or fireworks bothered her and made her upset. Eventually, the family took her to a counselor. Two doctors conferred and concluded, ―She is subconsciously reliving the abortion. The roaring and crackling sounds recapitulate the effects of the saline solution as it burned her in the womb.‖ 616
to you, for the believers it may be all that is needed to confirm that a fetus has memory and feeling. Here is an even more interesting story, retold in The Castaways by Sarah Hinze. A mother was in therapy for her daughter. Since birth her daughter had shown an absolute fear of fires, and so far no one had been able to help. What happened during the session surprised her mother as well. When the
therapist hypnotically regressed the girl she started experiencing being pulled from her mother‘s belly and thrown into a fire. At hearing this, the mother too began crying, as she confessed how she had indeed gotten pregnant but had been forced into a brutal abortion by her drunk boyfriend and his buddies. At the ‗party‘ she was forced into an abortion, after which the fetus was thrown into the fire. She admitted that she had told no one about this dark day until now. So how could her daughter possibly know? The mother explained how, when her daughter was born, she had felt the same connection with her as she‘d felt with the child from the previous pregnancy. 617 The
child had indeed come back to her, but in her soul, her subconscious or unconscious she had remembered and retained that fear of dying in a fire. Truly we carry more memories than we think. Again, I cannot prove this story to you as though it could be tested under a microscope. I simply offer it as food for thought.
For more on soul memories turn to Reason #88: We are self-aware before birth .
A final word…does no pain make it less wrong? ―Is someone who feels little or no pain (a patient under anesthesia, a cancer victim having
undergone dorsal
rhizotomy, or a chronic invalid on heavy analgesic medication) somehow diminished in
the personhood
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sweepstakes?‖ 618
-Dr. Bernard Nathanson Reason #53 ―There is evidence to suggest that the fetus does feel pain‖ Reason #54 You can begin bonding with your baby now!
What has this got to do with abortion? any times we see an unplanned pregnancy as a difficult thing, but it can also be a joy. Instead of contemplating how to abort your baby‘s life, why not take the same time to begin bonding. Yes, right now before she‘s even born! Doesn‘t that sound more pleasant?
Take time to feel close hroughout history mothers and their children have shared a special bond. As a pregnant female you carry inside yourself a growing child – you are a mother! You can start bonding with your growing child today. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
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