Guide to Informed Choices
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like that will happen, not to you; it just isn‘t quite real, until it does happen. The days of waiting for a missed period. The absolute certainty that my parents would have nothing to do with me if I showed up pregnant. The sudden distancing of ―Jacob.‖ ―What are YOU going
to do?‖ Not ―we,‖ just simply, me. Alone again. The trip to Planned Parenthood to confirm the test I had done at home, alone. More shame, more disappointment for my family. I didn‘t trust my own ability to parent, didn‘t know about any other option, other than to do what I knew he wanted....
―I didn‘t trust my own ability to parent‖
Deep inside, I wanted him to insist that we get married. Wanted it right up until the moment it was too late. Wanted with all my heart for him to bang open the door and punch out the abortion doctor, drag me away and make everything all right, for all three of us. Prince Charming turned out to be not so charming, after all. He sat there, in the waiting room at the hospital, while I was on that table being lied to, chain smoking cigarettes and waiting for me to come drive us home afterwards. Oh, I had tried to change his mind, argued long and hard against having the abortion. He finally told me very bluntly that if I didn‘t have the abortion, that he wasn‘t going to be tied down, he wasn‘t going to be trapped. He would leave town if he had to, and I would be on my own. Defeated, numb, feeling like it was all a bad dream that I couldn‘t wake up and escape from, I finally gave in. I had no one to turn to, didn‘t know about places to help young women in my situation. Didn‘t know how to even find out. I thought Planned Parenthood was the modern thing to do, the only game in town. I had spent half of life hiding one secret shame of being fat, it was just automatic for me to hide this one, too. 56
How would you feel? Story 4 ow would you feel if at age 15 you found yourself pregnant and confused? You didn‘t tell your parents because you wanted to decide for yourself, yet when your boyfriend threatens you, you decided to go through with it. Sounds like an unwanted choice to me!
I didn‘t think that I could tell my H
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parents because they had made it very clear that sex before marriage was a sin and not an acceptable behavior, let alone to be pregnant. I figured they would be so upset and force me to keep the baby and not have any choice in the matter. I went to friends for advice and my boyfriend who threatened me that I had better have an abortion.
―I was so scared and confused‖
I was so scared and confused and getting advice from other teenagers wasn‘t exactly helpful. I was only 15; I had a hard enough time deciding what color backpack would look the best to take to school, let alone deciding what to do about a child that I was carrying. I went to Planned Parenthood for an appointment, and they told me that they would pay for an abortion if I wanted it and give me birth control for free afterwards. I don‘t remember the person at Planned Parenthood really explaining to me any after affects from the abortion, risks, downsides, etc. But after a fight, more threats about having the baby and a fist in the gut from my boyfriend, I decided to go through with the abortion.
—Nicole
How would you feel? Story 5 ow would you feel if you broke up with your boyfriend because he was cheating on you, and then found out you were pregnant? You were only age 16 and were starting to use a wheelchair. You didn‘t want an abortion, but you didn‘t know what else to do. Sounds like an unwanted choice to me!
A couple days before Christmas, I found that my boyfriend had been cheating on me, so I broke up with him. As time went on, I got extremely tired, and by Christmas, I was sleeping all day and the smell of ANYTHING made me sick. I still didn't think I was pregnant because I never vomited. I thought I had the flu, so I constantly took cold pills and aspirin. By this time, my mother kept saying that I was pregnant, and I responded with "No, I'm not." In the second week of January, my mother bought me a pregnancy test. It was bright pink, and as my mom told me that I was pregnant, I still refused that we had had sex. (I thought that she would think that we were fooling around and his semen got into my vagina.) For some reason I thought it would be worse if she knew we had sex. The look of hurt and disappointment on her face killed me. I went to my room and H
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cried. As my father walked in from work, my mother told him. He was so disappointed he would not speak to me at all. My mother waited in the living room for me to get home from school. As I came through the door she asked me what I wanted to do. I didn't know. I was 16 and pregnant, no boyfriend, and I have a disease called Muscular Dystrophy and was just starting to use a wheelchair.
―I wanted to keep my baby.‖
She told me that she called my neurologist and made sure I could go through it, and that she made an appointment for me to have an abortion on January 17, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day because I had off from school. I could go to school the next day and no one would ever know. I was against abortion, "Thou Shalt Not Kill," you know. The next week I could think of nothing except that I wanted to keep my baby. My mother didn't care and my father would not speak to me. —Christy
Reason #6 ―Abortion is often an unwanted choice – is this true for you?‖ Reason #7 No one likes abortion
Not abortionists urn to… Reason #61: Abortionists don‘t enjoy their job.
OK, they do like the money. See Reason #60: The abortion industry is a business.
Not pro-choicers ven many pro-choicers say abortion is a "necessary evil." It‘s not something to be proud of. It‘s not something you celebrate with a party or a bottle of wine — except maybe to drown your sorrows. Abortion does not make you feel exhilarated, liberated or overjoyed. It is a somber, serious time. But why? You might have heard some pro- choicers say that they do not like abortion any more than pro-lifers do and that they object to the label ―pro-abortion.‖ Well, if that is the case, my question to you is, what don‘t you like about abortion? What is wrong with it? Isn‘t it just a simple, safe, legal procedure on a woman‘s body? That‘s what we‘re told, isn‘t it? Let me share a quick story. A pro-lifer was once being interviewed on air when he T E
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asked the pro-choice interviewer why she didn‘t like being called pro-abortion. She said, ―Abortion is tough. It‘s not like anybody really wants one.‖ The pro-lifer responded, ―What makes it tough? Why wouldn‘t someone want one?‖ Without thinking the pro-choicer responded, ―Well, it‘s a tough thing to kill your baby.‖ As the pro-lifer relates, ―The moment she said it, she caught herself and tried to backtrack. But it was too late. In an unguarded moment she had used the ‗B-word‘: baby.‖ 57
These next comments come from pro-
choice women admitting abortion is a bad thing:
We think abortion is a bad thing. No woman wants to have an abortion. 58
—Kate Michelman, president NARAL Pro-Choice America
Abortion in many ways represents a sad, even tragic choice to many, many women. 59
—Hillary Clinton, while a senator of NY
Abortion is a heartbreak. 60
—Ginette Paris, The Sacrament of Abortion The Ambivalence of Abortion, an older pro-choice book, speaks very candidly about abortion. Although the author believes in abortion, her words betray her. While she discusses how important and necessary abortion is, the stories tell a sorry tale. The women in her book all describe these bizarre, unhappy lives leading to abortion — itself unhappy — then they end with some statement that they‘re really okay or why it was the right thing for them. In some of the stories the women don‘t make much sense at all, even to themselves. For example, one woman who had had three abortions recalled a conversation she‘d had with a friend who‘d also had an abortion. ―It‘s just an embryo, I told her… It‘s not a being, just a bunch of splitting cells.‖ Her friend replied that it was killing, but justifiable. Then she says, ―Now if I took that as my own philosophy I couldn‘t follow through with it. I‘d have to have the baby. I agree with her, of course, but I just won‘t admit it.‖ Her story ends with ―Maybe I should go to a psychiatrist, but I don‘t really have the money or the interest. Truth is hard to take, and I just don‘t know if I‘m ready for it.‖ 61
child and five miscarriages. Although all her life she had wanted to get pregnant, she decided this time she didn‘t want to risk losing the baby again — she was going to abort him instead and get there first – ―With so many miscarriages, I decided to be in control of the situation this time.‖ Then she says, ―Now I‘m getting my tubes tied. Then I won‘t ever have to go through
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another abortion.‖ 62 This sounds to me like someone who is so hurt from continually losing her babies that she mistakenly thinks she can avoid further hurt by getting rid of them herself. Then, despite the fact that she makes out like the abortion is no big deal, she wants permanent surgery so that she‘ll never have to go through another abortion.
In some of the stories the women don‘t make much sense at all, even to themselves
Perhaps I‘m just picking the wrong stories, you say. Well, what about this one, which shows that ―for some women, abortion can be a positive experience and a period of personal growth‖? 63 The woman in question had had a string of weird relationships leading to two abortions. After the abortion she broke up with the man and is pleased that they are just friends. During the abortion she said, ―I couldn‘t stop crying. It was partly the pain and partly that I was really disgusted at what I was doing.‖ The story ends with ―So in a way I feel right now, this abortion‘s really been a positive one. And maybe it‘s going to be okay, now.‖ 64
And this is the most positive experience the author can find? She doesn‘t sound too convinced to me. ―In a way,‖ ―right now,‖ ―maybe,‖ ―okay‖. These are not words of someone who is convinced she did the right thing and is feeling great about it. These are the words of a woman who has been through a lot and is hoping that the future will be better than the past. What about the woman who claimed, ―The abortion was a positive experience‖? That all sounds fine and dandy, but the rest of her story doesn‘t add up. She also said, ―I never told my family or friends about the abortion. I didn‘t even like the word …I didn‘t admit for the longest time that I‘d had an abortion. It took me thirty years to say the word and admit it.‖ 65 Does she really sound liberated and happy? Sounds more like repression and denial to me. This is just a sample of the stories out there. There are more in the book and many online. 66
Not pro-lifers Um, that‘s kind of obvious, isn‘t it?
Not women
See Reason #5: Most women want support not abortion
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Not men Ok, irresponsible men do. Honest guys don‘t. Read Reason #83: The father might regret it too.
Okay, okay, you‘ll have to give me some creative liberty here, but stay with me, I have some good reasons:
Reason #87: Your unborn baby is intelligent
Reason #53: The fetus can feel pain
Reason #16: Do you kill a child for their own good?
aware and can feel pain, then no matter how you choose to regard the unborn child, he or she would not be enjoying having his or her life ended. Even if it was for his or her own good, which is questionable.
Reason #7 ―No element of society, not even pro-choicers, like abortion‖ Reason #8 If only you could see what she looks like
The power of an image We insist that visual aid materials not be presented by either side. 67
Abortion Practice (abortionist‘s training manual, on high school presentation policies)
n 2009 Abby Johnson, the employee of a Planned Parenthood clinic in Texas, saw something that changed her heart forever. Yes, this clinic director of 8 years and 2008 ―Employee of the Year‖ changed sides. 68
was being told to bring up abortion numbers to increase income. But the main reason was that while helping with a procedure, she got to watch it, too. While not used regularly for early abortions, this ultrasound was being employed to guide the 13 week procedure. Abby‘s role was to help hold the ultrasound probe in place so the abortionist would have a visual guide. Abby notes that she could see the side view of the fetus on the screen. This is what happened next. ―I saw the probe going into the woman‘s uterus and at that moment I saw the baby moving and trying to get away from the probe …and I thought, it‘s I
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fighting for its life…it‘s alive...My mind was racing, my heart was beating so fast… and then all of a sudden, I mean, it was just over, just in the blink of an eye, and I just saw, I just saw the baby just literally just crumble…and it was over. And I, I just, I dropped the ultrasound probe… I was just thinking, what am I doing, what, what, am I doing here… I had one hand on this, on this woman‘s belly, and I was thinking, there was life in here and now there‘s not.‖ The pregnant woman never saw any of this either – she had been given sedation. 69
what you‘re looking at. Bernard Nathanson also quit abortions after a similar encounter, although pro-choicers denied his experience (which we discuss in Reason #53
).
―I was just thinking, what am I doing?‖
Do you think there is anything alive in there? Sure there is! In the past, technology didn‘t allow us to watch a fetus move, and we certainly couldn‘t watch her yawn. We were pretty ignorant but now can see all these wonderful things and more. Even pro-choice advocates are having a ―hard time‖ coming to terms with the ―increased visibility of the fetus,‖ as one prominent pro-choicer recently admitted. 70
Until recently, all ultrasounds were those fuzzy looking 2D images that made it hard to figure out which end was the nose and which were the toes! Many are still like that. But as newer 3D and 4D technology emerges, we are beginning to see amazingly clear images and even video clips (that‘s the 4D part). Where the fetus was once a hidden presence, many of us are having to rethink our opinion on abortion.
Confessions from pro-choice literature ―The need to offer some answers from a pro-choice perspective is both morally and politically urgent… There are scientific advances that affect the way we think about the fetus… Examples include 3-D and 4-D pictures of fetuses in utero that appear to be awake, asleep, sucking, yawning — engaging in activities that are related to human identity.‖ 71
—Frances Kissling, Abortion Under Attack: Women on the Challenges Facing Choice
Actually observed on ultrasound! want to share with you some amazing things that have all been observed on ultrasound. 72 As you read the following I
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list keep in mind these words by one pro- choicer, who reassured herself following her abortion that ―It was not that I‘d got rid of a living creature.‖ 73
moving (6-8 weeks) 74
thumb sucking (9-13 weeks) 75
stepping reflex (11-12 weeks) 76
yawning (12-30 weeks) 77
swallowing (18 weeks) 78
opening and closing eyes (18 weeks) 79
hand brushing face (22 weeks) 80
dreaming REM (23 weeks) 81
sticking out her tongue (24 weeks) 82
smiling (26 weeks) 83
crying motions (26-28 weeks) 84
playing with nose (32 weeks) 85
I couldn‘t think of it as a baby…
―My heart was hardened. Not once did I think of my baby as a baby. I couldn‘t allow myself to think that way…The ultimate truth was hard to face.‖ 86
Aborted Women: Silent No More
Pregnant women often change their mind after an ultrasound. Ultrasound plays an interesting role. On one hand it can help pregnant mothers bond with their babies, while on the other hand it‘s used by abortionists to locate that same fetus for ―termination.‖ Many women have had a change of heart after seeing their baby on ultrasound. Even though the pictures they see are usually the fuzzy ones and not the clear high technology 3D ones, there is something about listening to the heartbeat of your baby or seeing movement on the screen. Somehow, instead of it being about "my body," it becomes clear that this is Yüklə 4,63 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
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