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Be kind and forgive yourself
Forgive yourself for the bad decisions you’ve made,
for the times you lacked belief, for the times you
hurt others and yourself. Forgive yourself for all the
mistakes you’ve made. What matters most is that
you’re willing to move forward with a better mindset.
How often do you find yourself disrespecting your own intelligence when
you make a mistake? Do you ever ask yourself discouraging questions like,
‘Why can’t I do this?’ ‘Why am I so ugly?’ or ‘Why do I keep failing?’
That inner voice we have can be very critical. This type of question is often a
presupposition, forcing you to accept the ideas in the questions as truth. It’s a
highly effective way to put yourself down.
But you must make sure the voice in your head is always kind to you. You’ll
encounter many people in life who are willing to put you down, but 
you
shouldn’t be one of them. You cannot expect others to be kind to you if
you’re not kind to yourself. You have to change your internal dialogue so it
supports you in life. Instead of telling yourself that you’re dumb for making a
mistake, tell yourself that you’re only human and you’ll do better next time.
Your words are creative energy – an idea we’ll expand on in the next section.
They’re extremely powerful in either supporting you or limiting your life
experience. When you use words to belittle yourself, you diminish your own
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joy.
Do you still punish yourself for the mistakes you made as a child? More often
than not the answer is no, because we realize that we were young and naive,
and most of us have learned from them. They’ve allowed us to become better.
This self-forgiveness should apply to your recent mistakes, too.
Every mistake you make can help you to improve as a person. But to make
use of the lesson within each of your mistakes, you must first learn to let
them go. Accept what has happened. Breathe it in, breathe it out and let it go.
You’re only human and you’re allowed to continue with life, regardless of
the magnitude of the mistake. Don’t punish yourself for what you’ve done,
and instead focus on what you can do better.
Beating yourself up will not change the situation.
It’s what you strive for next that matters most.
Have you ever met someone you haven’t seen for a long time, and they tell
you, ‘You’ve grown up so much!’? And if they’d talked to someone else
about you before you’d met again, they’d probably have talked about the
version of you who they last knew; someone from the past?
The truth is that ‘You in the Past’ was probably completely different from
who you are now. So if someone judges you for your past, it’s their problem.
They’re the ones who are living in a place that no longer exists. If they don’t
understand that people grow up and mature, they probably have some
growing of their own to do. Don’t let anyone use your past as an excuse to
judge you; they’re only trying to restrict you from building a blissful future.
Remember that nothing stays the same, including you, and think back to all
of your achievements and accomplishments.
It’s just as important that you let go of the past, too. People may have done
things to you in the past that you feel are unforgivable. You might not even
remember what they did, but you hang on to how they made you feel.
Attaching yourself to these ill feelings will only be destructive to your mood,
dragging your vibration down.
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When you forgive people you don’t improve the past, you improve your
present and future. You give yourself more peace and build more positive
energy internally.
Those who cannot forgive people who’ve hurt them will only fall victim to
them. Imagine having a major fallout with someone because they betrayed
you. Initially, you’re livid and hurt. You cut yourself loose from them and
eventually you forget about it – until you see them again. At this point you
replay memories of what they did to you and your pain returns, because you
haven’t actually forgiven them. This will dampen your spirits and could lead
you to make destructive decisions.
Forgiveness isn’t about condoning someone’s poor behaviour and it doesn’t
always mean that you need to invite individuals back into your life; it simply
means that you’ll no longer allow them power over your thoughts and control
over your emotional state. That way, they cannot dictate your destiny.
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