News outlets profit from gossip by publicizing other people’s misfortune.
Luckily for them, some people buy into it. As a result, it’s become socially
acceptable to discuss other people. Yet everyone knows they wouldn’t like it
if
they
were the subject of gossip.
So, distance yourself from conversations about others,
or try to direct the
discussion to something more positive. You’ll notice that, more often or not,
people who spend their time gossiping are the ones who seem to complain or
find comfort in misery. If you join them in their habits, you’ll gradually
become disillusioned with life, too.
Similarly, getting swept up in unnecessary drama can heighten both stress
and anxiety. This puts you in a lower emotional state and, as you already
know by now, this reflects undesirably on your life. Why give up your joy?
I’ve learned to avoid drama at all costs because it does nothing good for me. I
once came across a high-drama person who attempted to argue with me about
a point I’d made. Ironically, my point had been
that we should walk away
from fights because they can destruct our peace, but he didn’t believe that we
should. When I kindly told him that I respected our differences and we
should move on, he got angry. If I’d felt he was actually interested in my
perspective, I’d have been happy to share it and listen to his. However, he
only wanted to argue, to prove me wrong and drag me down.
His ears were shut and his mouth was open: he wasn’t ready to learn, only to
dictate. Our beliefs were different and he got really worked up by it. To him,
I was spreading false information and creating further suffering in the world
with my viewpoint. This anger was followed by personal abuse directed
towards me, particularly since I wouldn’t take part in his battle. I simply
stayed silent and observed, until I could distance myself.
It didn’t seem like this person cared deeply for other people’s wellbeing, or
that he wanted to prevent suffering in the world.
His aggressive behaviour
contradicted his points. He simply needed to justify why he was right and that
his way was the only way. My beliefs shattered his truth that we should
always fight back, and without that truth, his identity became threatened.
This is the work of the ego. Your ego is your self-image created by thought.
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It’s your social mask, one that constantly requires validation because it lives
in fear of losing its sense of identity. When you’re upset because someone
doesn’t like you, it’s your ego operating: you validate your existence based
on their approval. When they disapprove of you,
you no longer feel good
about who you are.
Our ego always wants to feel
significant and adored. It seeks
instant gratification. It wants to feel
more powerful than other people.
It’s the reason people buy things they don’t need – to impress people they
don’t even care about. It’s the reason we become bitter about other people’s
successes. It’s the reason greed exists and why we’re constantly striving to
outdo others. It prevents us from acting with love and understanding.
Unfortunately, many of us identify ourselves with a certain image throughout
our lives that’s created by our ego, and we have to keep on maintaining and
protecting it. If others don’t approve of the image of ourselves that we’ve
created, our identity becomes threatened and the ego will fear for its
protection, just as in the case here. My beliefs forced that person to question
his own beliefs and therefore question his identity, which imposed a threat.
This is why he was so quick to get defensive and to attack.
This happens a lot in life because of ego. People don’t say or ask things out
of
curiosity; they simply want to prove others wrong. They want people to
follow their truth, not because they necessarily care about others, but because
they fear being wrong and not knowing who they are. There are a lot of high-
drama people in the world who seem to thrive in these toxic conditions.
I try to keep an open mind and to listen to other people’s perspectives.
However, I’ve also learned not to waste time on people who have no interest
in what I have to say, or why I say it. You must make sure that you don’t
involuntarily take part in the internal battles of others.
Discussing problems and sharing information is fine when the intention
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doesn’t stem from the desire to make yourself feel superior through the
belittlement of others. This provides a false sense of self and consequently
lowers your vibe. There are better ways to spend your time than gossiping or
involving yourself in dramas. Instead, try to focus
on your own life and on
trying to improve it. Time is precious and you should be investing it wisely
by doing something constructive that will make your life greater.
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