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The Shakespearean
Insult Skit
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Using the Shakespearean Insult handout, independently create 5 Shakespearean insults.
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Using the 10 insults you and your partner now have, write a 15-20 line skit.
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The skit must…
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Have 2 characters.
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Depict a disagreement or fight where the characters insult each other.
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Include all 10 of your insults.
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Be set in a school appropriate setting with school appropriate language/actions
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Conclude with a moral.
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Be written in as close to Shakespearean English as you can get (utilize the tips on this sheet)
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Show rehearsal on your part (enthusiasm, accuracy, etc.) if you decide to perform
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Write a paragraph to set up your Shakespearean insult. You will include this with your script and shold you perform, you must introduce it to the class. Include the following in your paragraph: the gender, age, and occupation of the characters; a description of the setting and when this scene takes place; and what is the conflict that causes the fight.
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It is optional to perform the skit in class. However, all scripts will be handed in (so make them easy to read). You will be evaluated on how well you meet the above criteria.
**Extras will be given to students who choose to perform and do it well. The “extras” will be unique to each student and there is no set amount.
Have fun and break a leg!
If you are performing and are reaching for the stars:
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A
ppropriate props accompany the skit.
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Memorize their script.
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Performance is delivered with sophistication and appropriate inflection.
Shakespearian Translations:
Yes = Yea (pronounced “yay”)
No = Nay
Does = Doth (pronounced Duth—like dust, but with a “th” on the end)
She doth covet the grapes in the basket.
Has = Hath, or Hast
She hath stolen those grapes. She hast stolen those apples.
Your = Thy (possessive, like “your grapes”)
She is throwing thy grapes at thy sister!
Your = Thine (used instead of “thy” when the word after it starts with a vowel—sort of like we use “a” and “an”)
Thy carrots are fresher than thine onions.
Yours = Thine
These moldy carrots are thine.
You = Thou (usually at the beginning of a sentence or clause)
Thou hast stolen my apples.
You = Thee (usually at the end of a sentence or clause)
Thou hast stolen those apples thou hast with thee.
Are = Art
Thou art beautiful as the sun.
Beautiful = Fair
Thou art fair as the sun
even, evening=e’en
Good e’en; E’en then I will spite you.
fare-thee-well=goodbye
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While = Whilst
I’ll serenade thee whilst thou wait.
Often = Oft
I have oft thought of you.
Could = Couldst
Couldst thou buy me some carrots?
Would = Wouldst
Wouldst thou like some carrots?
Beautiful = Fair
Thou art fair as the sun.
Before = Ere
‘T will be many days ere you see me again
Soon = Anon
Thy carriage shall be here anon.
Morning = Morrow
Good morrow to you, friend; would you like some carrots?
Probably = Belike
He sells moldy carrots, belike for want of money.
Why? = Wherefore?
Wherefore didst thou sell me moldy carrots?
***There is no translation for:***
The
I, me, my, mine
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Phrases:
Go away! = Get thee gone!
Get off me, stop touching me! = Unhand me!
Please, I pray thee = Prithee Example: Prithee, take thy carrots someplace else.
Because someone wants, or because someone is lacking = for want of
He sells moldy carrots, belike for want of money
I think = Methinks Example: Methinks I will not buy thy carrots.
‘Swounds! = (literally, God’s wounds) a mild oath
Fie! = a stronger oath; a curse
Fie on’t = (literally, Fie on it) a stronger oath. This situation makes me very upset!
Ways to make it sound like Shakespeare:
Put “eth” on the end of verbs instead of “s”
She runs (or she is running) away! = She runneth away!
Use old words instead of modern words
Your car is blocking my car, you idiot. = Thy carriage dost hinder the passage of my carriage, thou lumbering clod.
Never use one word when two will do! Add words like “right,” well,” and “most” to your speech: She doth wash right industrious. Thou are most beauteous fair. I’ faith though dost sing most marvelous well.
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