169 Networking: The New Conversation
What makes networking effective
Effective networking relies on three key qualities: an ‘abundance
mentality’; generosity; and reciprocity.
Abundance
. People with a ‘scarcity mentality’ have difficulty
sharing, because they feel that holding on to their resources –
property,
knowledge, relationships – is vital to their success.
People with an ‘abundance mentality’ understand that human
resources – knowledge, intelligence, imagination – produce more
when they are shared.
An ‘abundance mentality’ needs to be cultivated.
We have to work
at it. It’s easy to slip into the scarcity mentality. Developing an
abundance mentality means sacrificing something of our own:
power, security, certainty. But the benefits are enormous: an
abundance mentality can make us less fearful and more
confident.
Scarcity and abundance
Scarcity mentality
• Victory means success at someone else’s expense.
• Someone else’s success
means we have missed an
opportunity.
• There are two ways to do it: my way, and your way. My
way is the right way.
• Everyone is out for themselves.
Abundance mentality
• Victory means success bringing mutual benefits to all.
• The possibilities of growth and development are
unlimited and common to all.
• There are three ways of doing it: my way, your way, and
a better way.
• Everyone has something unique to offer.
( c) 2011 Kogan Page L imited, All Rights Reserved.
170 Improve your Communication Skills
Generosity.
With an abundance mentality, we find it easier to
give unconditionally. We can give attention to others; and, as we
have seen in Chapter 4, attention is
at the heart of effective
listening. We can also give information more easily and less
egotistically.
Reciprocity.
Reciprocity is the recognition that none of us can
survive without the help of others. All human relationships are
based on the idea of give and take;
networking depends for its
success critically on reciprocity. Humans seem to be ‘hard-wired’
for reciprocity; if I give you something, you will almost certainly
feel obliged to offer me something in return. Because human
achievements
rely on co-operation, we need to find ways of
trusting each other; and reciprocity provides the currency of
trust. My gift to you demonstrates that you can trust me, and is
an invitation to you
to offer something in return, so that I can
begin to trust you.
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