George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication

in his arms and kisses her strenuously]. Oh! that was a little
more than play, brother-in-law. [She pushes him suddenly
away]. You shall not do that again.
HECTOR
. In effect, you got your claws deeper into me than
I intended.
MRS HUBHABYE 
[coming in from the garden]. Don’t let
me disturb you; I only want a cap to put on daddiest. The
sun is setting; and he’ll catch cold [she makes for the door
leading to the hall].
LADY UTTERWORD
. Your husband is quite charming,
darling. He has actually condescended to kiss me at last. I
shall go into the garden: it’s cooler now [she goes out by the
port door].
MRS HUSHABYE
. Take care, dear child. I don’t believe
any man can kiss Addy without falling in love with her. [She
goes into the hall].
HECTOR 
[striking himself on the chest]. Fool! Goat!
Mrs Hushabye comes back with the captain’s cap.
HECTOR
. Your sister is an extremely enterprising old girl.
Where’s Miss Dunn!
MRS HUSHABYE
. Mangan says she has gone up to her
room for a nap. Addy won’t let you talk to Ellie: she has
marked you for her own.
HECTOR
. She has the diabolical family fascination. I be-
gan making love to her automatically. What am I to do? I
can’t fall in love; and I can’t hurt a woman’s feelings by tell-
ing her so when she falls in love with me. And as women are
always falling in love with my moustache I get landed in all
sorts of tedious and terrifying flirtations in which I’m not a
bit in earnest.

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69
GB Shaw
MRS HUSHABYE
. Oh, neither is Addy. She has never been
in love in her life, though she has always been trying to fall
in head over ears. She is worse than you, because you had
one real go at least, with me.
HECTOR
. That was a confounded madness. I can’t believe
that such an amazing experience is common. It has left its
mark on me. I believe that is why I have never been able to
repeat it.
MRS HUSHABYE 
[laughing and caressing his arm]. We were
frightfully in love with one another, Hector. It was such an
enchanting dream that I have never been able to grudge it to
you or anyone else since. I have invited all sorts of pretty
women to the house on the chance of giving you another
turn. But it has never come off.
HECTOR
. I don’t know that I want it to come off. It was
damned dangerous. You fascinated me; but I loved you; so it
was heaven. This sister of yours fascinates me; but I hate her;
so it is hell. I shall kill her if she persists.
MRS. HUSHABYE
. Nothing will kill Addy; she is as strong
as a horse. [Releasing him]. Now I am going off to fascinate
somebody.
HECTOR
. The Foreign Office toff? Randall?
MRS HUSHABYE
. Goodness gracious, no! Why should I
fascinate him?
HECTOR
. I presume you don’t mean the bloated capitalist,
Mangan?
MRS HUSHABYE
. Hm! I think he had better be fascinated
by me than by Ellie. [She is going into the garden when the
captain comes in from it with some sticks in his hand]. What
have you got there, daddiest?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. Dynamite.
MRS HUSHABYE
. You’ve been to the gravel pit. Don’t drop
it about the house, there’s a dear. [She goes into the garden,
where the evening light is now very red].
HECTOR
. Listen, O sage. How long dare you concentrate
on a feeling without risking having it fixed in your conscious-
ness all the rest of your life?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. Ninety minutes. An hour and a
half. [He goes into the pantry].