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The client seems to feel validated and understood (line 1) as if she needs this from the
counsellor, in that she needs to be given this by an external other for perhaps she is unable to do
this for herself. She seems to feel that she has returned to functioning normally (line 2) as if the
process of counselling has been affecting her everyday life. But she still feels very fragile inside
(line 2) as if the abused part of her is more aware of her vulnerability. She seems
to recognize
that she is not good at taking care of herself by saying „no‟ (line 3) to others as if she takes on too
much and tires herself. She then appears to return to her internal state as she feel wounded and
hollow inside (line 4) which creates a powerful image. It is as if she
is describing her internal
condition and is more aware of the damage that has been done to her through the abuse. Yet
there is a strength, for she seems determined yet also frustrated for
she senses that she has the
right to speak (line 6) as if the child within is beginning to find her voice. But at the same time
she appears to feel ignored as if the child who was so isolated is unable to make herself heard.
„Pain‟ (line 7) stands alone as if it needs to be recognized and registered both by her and perhaps
the reader, and the lack of words around it makes it stand out as something too enormous to
portray in any other way. She then seems to have a sense of her own strength (line 8) which is
followed by her peers being in awe (line 9) of her as if she has shared some of her experiences
with them and been heard and acknowledged. In recounting this action of sharing she is able to
reflect on it. She finds their awe difficult to believe (line 9)
as if this a new experience, and
perhaps this confirms that she has been heard and is finding her voice, or even shifting from her
frozen state. This is followed by shock - pain - anger (line10) which suggests that she may have
found the appropriate feelings for her abused self. Perhaps taking huge risks is where she is at
the moment as if she is doing this in her counselling, in her counsellor training and
in the journal,
as if she is taking the risk of speaking to see if she is heard. At the same time she appears to state
the opposite as she says that she is playing by the rules (line 10). Perhaps she is playing by the
rules, as if she is testing the whole idea of counselling to see if it works,
to see if taking risks
enables her to find out more about herself. The adjectives in this entry are all emotive and
suggestive of actions as if she is describing her condition in regard to counselling and training,
and also suggest that she is using both to take care of herself more appropriately.
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