376
Line 1.
Change:- A mutually agreed
Line 2.
+ progressive change,
bringing about
Line 3.
personal growth for myself.
Line 4.
Otherwise, change ie separation,
Line 5.
new beginnings.
Line 6.
Change of my view of myself.
Line 7.
Doing things differently + being
Line 8.
powerful
rather than remaining
Line 9.
powerless, emotionally cripples
Line 10.
+ unmotivated.
She seems to infer by the way she starts this entry that it is all about „change:-‟ (line 1) and she
appears to attempt to demonstrate this through the rest of the entry. She describes it as a mutually
agreed (line 2) change as if different parts of herself are in communication. Of course she may
also be referring to the counsellor as if this was discussed between them but in the context of her
inner world she is perhaps beginning to be aware of more aspects of herself. She also sees the
change as progressive (line 2) and about personal growth (line 3) so
she perhaps defines it as
being internal by referring to „myself‟ (line 3) in this this way. She goes on to suggest that the
change has to do with separation (line 4) as if she is aware that she is becoming more of an
individual who can be separate as opposed to being merged or too close to others. This also
seems to herald „new beginnings‟ (line 5) so perhaps she is also aware
of the possibilities that
being separate presents her with as this may enable relationships to change and develop. She
appears to have a different view of herself (line 6) as if she is looking at herself from a new
standpoint. She seems to feel that she is doing things differently (line 7) which enables her to be
powerful (line 8) as opposed to being powerless (line 9). And perhaps seeing how she used to be
powerless also helps her to see that she has been emotionally crippled and unmotivated (line10).
Yet the tone of this entry is in opposition to what is written for it feels almost dead as if she may
be intellectualising, using her mind to block her feelings (week 24; lines 7,8).
The words
„emotionally cripples‟ are also in the present tense which may suggest that this is how she is in
the moment of writing.
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