110
Line Words from whole journal Analysis
This entry demonstrates how the participant appears to battle with the containment of her
feelings about herself and her counsellor. Perhaps an unrecognized self is „demanding‟ that she
listens to herself for the journal seems to enable her to contain all these feelings by writing them
out. In the following entry of the journal she realizes that she is perhaps trying to do too much
too quickly and has a sense of needing to care for herself by putting herself first. Fighting
containment-freedom in the above entry seemed to allow her to shift towards containing her own
feelings so that „selfish‟ turns into caring for herself appropriately. This highlights how the
whole journal narrative adds to the overall story. Taken on its own the entry above demonstrates
part of the participant‟s process, the other entries add to this and create a story of process.
8. I suppose I’m selfish and
9. it’s “I want” still!
10. Family still
demanding
11. thought I’d learnt
12. to say “no” – wrong!
13. I feel used again by
14. them all why can’t I
15. get this right! Everything
16. with me takes so long
17. Why!
She appears
to recognize her need in
this (line1) but sees this as selfish as if
she fights even allowing herself these
feelings about the counsellor, as if she
fights the freedom of her own feelings.
Her demanding family (line10) may
represent the demanding counsellor who
gets to choose when to have a break.
This leaves the client feeling used (line
13), so perhaps
she feels used by the
counsellor. Its as if she cannot really
voice “no” (line 12) its not fair - to the
counsellor, as she can‟t with her family.
She again seems to fight herself as she
sees herself taking too long to do this
counselling
and perhaps thinks the
counsellor takes too much time off.
112
Table v. To show words that suggest feeling unsafe, uncared for and unloved.
Lost
Insecure
Disappointed
Unleashed
Escaping
Felt obliged
Exposed
Irritated
Weary
Vulnerable
Annoyed
Needy
Unsafe
Frustrated
Hate
Whereas the words for the „desire for containment‟ hold positive aspects of the clients‟ feelings
about what
they feel for the counsellor, this other half of the category has more negative
(Beastly) words that express again how the participants feels about themselves, and/or how they
feel towards the counsellor, or how they feel the counsellor feels towards them.
Extract 5. Journal entry to show the category desire for containment-freedom
Line Words from the journal Analysis
1. I fight hard against
2.
Perceived injustice
3. Because
4. I don’t want others
5. To suffer it
6. Like I did
7.
We should all be loved
8. Just for being
9. Not for what we do.
A strong sense of a
desire for freedom
to fight against the injustice of her past.
Lines 1-2
She appears to
fight for freedom so
others not to suffer as she did. Perhaps
she also
fights for the containment of
her own suffering. Lines 3-5
What
she appears to desire is the
Dostları ilə paylaş: