5.5.6 Desire for containment-freedom
This polarity gives a sense of the enormous range of movement within the containment-freedom
concept. There is a tug of war between wanting containment and wanting freedom (as I
experienced in chapter 1) for while the two concepts are split they appear only to contradict each
other rather than complement.
Usually a more conscious movement, wanting containment is a wish to be held or cared for by
the counsellor. It is a desire to feel safe as well as recognised or known as an individual. It may
be experienced as a desire to feel merged within the safe containment of the counsellor, to be
liked, understood (Steiner 1993) and accepted by her, and even to feel like her, or for the client
to feel that there is a likeness between him/herself and the counsellor (Siegel 1996).
Wanting freedom has a huge energy or movement which may be grasped with a sense of control
or power. It may cause a feeling of dislike or irritation with the counsellor. It may also surface
with feelings of isolation experienced in moments of separateness which may be too huge to
contemplate as such. Yet there may also be the desire to be an individual, to be different from
others rather than having to feel or be the same as others. This polarity may be seen in the
journals as the client‟s desire to be accepted by others, particularly the counsellor. It may also be
seen as the desire to be different, a unique or exclusive self (Anderson 1997; 364) who can bear
to be outside the group and separate from others. An example of this category may be seen in the
journal entry below:
142
Extract 13. Entry from a pilot study journal to show desire for containment-freedom
Line 1.
Felt safe, held
Line 2.
cared for
Line 3.
“loved” her
Line 4.
Relieved / thankful
In this small entry the participant seems to demonstrate her desire for containment of her internal
world in that she appears to feel safe, held and cared for (line 1,2). She even seems to feel love
(line 3) for the counsellor and this appears to cause her to feel relieved and thankful as if she now
trusts the counsellor. Unlike in the previous example (p. 139 extract 12) when she could not
access her own thoughts about the counsellor, here she seems to be able to find her own thoughts
and realize that she feels relieved and thankful. It is as if the client‟s „fight‟ in the previous entry
enabled the polarity between containment and freedom to work together for here she seems
calmer, and able to access the other pole of her own affect.
5.5.7 Towards containment-freedom
The pull and swing of a pendulum is a useful image for this polarity. There is a sense of
alternating emotional movement but still perhaps some indecision as to which way to go. There
remains a desire to be merged and/or contained by another just as there remains a desire to keep
one‟s freedom and be separate (Field 1994; 477). These first swings towards either side of the
polarity may be tentative and momentary, but are a strong indication of movement. This
movement may be seen as a necessary aspect of progress in the client:
“it is essential for progression, which is the successful achievement of adaptation,
143
that impulse and counter-impulse, positive and negative, should reach a state of
regular interaction and mutual influence” (Jung 1969; 33).
The concept of interaction in this study is perceived as happening between internal containment
and freedom. Some vague sense of movement is perhaps the initial phase of a shift towards
containment being felt within the client. It is strong, like the swing of a pendulum, but faint like
the rousing of a child from sleep or the „hatching‟ process described in chapter 2. Perhaps it can
be seen as the tentative letting go of defended over-containment. Momentarily the client
experiences the containment offered in the freedom provided by the counsellor, in that s/he finds
the freedom needed to own a greater range of spontaneous feelings (Miller 1979). Perhaps this
movement is always present in a working relationship for the uncontainable may be invisibly
contained in what feels to the client to be the worst of sessions, in that unfamiliar affects are felt
and these feel different and uncomfortable.
As with „towards containment‟ this movement „towards freedom‟ is a momentary shift towards
separation and away from a merged state. It is a glimpse of the possibility of being a different
self with new perceptions, feelings and values, or in Rogers‟ (1951; 489) terminology, the
beginnings of „self actualisation„. There is a sense of either stillness or movement where the
client is able to feel satisfaction or understanding in holding or owning their own feelings. It is
hard to visualise these two existing together for the struggling client, but perhaps that is what is
so difficult, the reality that containment and freedom can coexist. Perhaps it is worth
remembering that Beauty (containment) and the Beast (freedom) are aspects of one person that
need to unite so that the individual begins to integrate opposing aspects within themselves.
144
Whether moving towards containment or freedom this polarity is demonstrated in the journals by
the client‟s growing capacity to feel his/her own affect as opposed to what „should‟ be thought or
felt, or what is defended from feeling. It is an owning of parts of the self which have not been
previously brought into awareness. Sometimes it may be the dynamic meeting of an „unthought
known‟ (Bollas 1987; 101). The example for this construct is taken from the main study:
Extract 14. Entry from A journal W44 to show towards containment-freedom
Line 1.
Enduring
Line 2.
Feeling passed on through generations
Line 3.
Fear of being trapped underground
Line 4.
Known + unknown side of people
Line 5.
My picture at the workshop
Line 6. Want to be seen.
The participant meets a fear of being trapped underground, which has been symbolized
previously in the journal but not owned as it is here. It is as if she acknowledges there is an
unknown self that has been buried and that this fear was part of that unknown self. She starts to
own more selves as she moves towards owning her own internal world, her own thoughts and
feelings.
This category highlights containment and freedom experienced almost simultaneously as shifts
occur for the client, but it also highlights still moments where a kind of holding, pleasure or
understanding occur, which may also be termed „balance‟ (Jung 1969; 33), or stillness. The
entry feels mysterious and creates stillness in the way it is written. Bringing together opposing
parts of herself she seems to demonstrate Jung‟s moment of balance as she realizes she wants to
145
be seen.
5.6 The structure
Visualizing or understanding the concept of a containment-freedom polarity feels almost
impossible. But if the idea of a continuum is drawn out then it may be possible to have a sense of
the movement and pull between the two aspects of the polarity (p.122). The continuum
incorporates all the categories and the whole sits on the axis of uncontained-unfree, the stuck
position. There is a sense that opposition pulls through the axis so that the categories move
together shifting through each other along the continuum. All are part of a process of movement
and in this sense every category has value. When the contents of a category are brought into
conscious awareness the client discovers the opportunity to meet previously unknown selves. For
example in the following entry from a main study journal the participant seems to realize that she
is in a stuck position, that is uncontained-unfree:
Extract 15. Entry from WF journal W3. to show uncontained-unfree
Line 1.
Still unsure - I am MAKING myself!
Line 2.
Feel it must be happening for a reason.
Line 3.
I feel so „squirmy‟
Line 4.
The boundaries are So tight.
Line 5.
She knows I have been „testing‟.
Line 6.
Why am I being cruel to myself?
Line 7.
She will make me „get there‟!
She says that she feels „squirmy‟ (line 3) in this place as if she is trying to get out but making no
progress. She recognizes the boundaries of the counselling, they feel „so tight‟ (line 4). Both of
these feelings suggest that she is unable to move internally. She also seems to question whether
146
she is cruel to herself (line 6) as if there is a realization that she keeps herself in this place. It
seems she has the opportunity to experience and see where she is. She feels her apparent
stuckness and then questions if she makes this happen to herself. It is as if she has a viewing
platform, on the axis, where even though she feels stuck she is able to see something of where
she is. This provides an opening for choice or movement away from one way of being into
another. It is as if there is a desire for union within herself, brought into awareness by being
stuck. The opposing parts of her seem drawn together:
“True opposites are never incommensurables; if they were they could
never unite. All contrariety notwithstanding, they do show a constant
propensity to union” (Jung 1969; 207).
Jung‟s (1969) theory „On Psychic Energy‟ provides a clear of understanding of the movement
which I originally sensed within myself and then searched for in the participant‟s journals. The
fit between his theory and the construct (p.126) emerged from the study. His work seems to
confirm the sense of movement between polarities and the need for the unity of the polarities.
5.7 Conclusion
This chapter has described the theoretical construct of the containment-freedom polarity and the
categories that emerged within it. The categories that were created by the pilot study became
clearer during the main study. This may imply that the participants who took part in the main
study and knew the theme of the research did, whether consciously or unconsciously, covertly or
openly, include the theme in their narratives. However, the categories may have become clearer
through the more thorough analysis of the journals before looking for the categories.
147
Opposition/polarity seems to be inherent in the journal narratives and the attraction of opposition
gains clarity through my interaction with the data. Beauty and the Beast deny each other yet want
each other. The friction felt in opposing desires seems to be created by both desires being felt at
once. Jung‟s work on opposition clarifies the categories and gives them credibility in that they
correspond with established theory. Although it still feels difficult to hold the splits between
containment and freedom together, this perhaps mirrors the difficulty of the client who struggles
to recognize and accept opposing feelings.
Dostları ilə paylaş: |