Games People Play

Thesis
: They've got to say I'm right. Aim: Reassurance. 
Roles
: Plaintiff, Defendant, Judge (and/or Jury). Dynamics: Sibling rivalry. 
Examples
: (1) Children quarreling, parent intervenes. (2) Married couple, seek "help." Social 
Paradigm
: Adult-Adult. 
Adult: "This is what she did to me." Adult: "The real facts are these."
Psychological Paradigm: Child-Parent. Child: "Tell me I'm right." 
Parent: "This one is right." Or: "You're both right."
Moves
: (1) Complaint filed—Defense filed. (2) Plaintiff files rebuttal, concession, or good-will 
gesture. (3) Decision of judge or instructions to jury. (4) Final decision filed.
Advantages
; (1) Internal Psychological—projection of guilt. (2) External Psychological—excused 
from guilt. (3) Internal Social—"Sweetheart," "Furthermore," "Uproar" and others. (4) External 
Social—"Courtroom." (5) Biological—stroking from judge and jury. (6) Existential-depressive 
position, I'm always wrong. 
3 FRIGID WOMAN 
Thesis
. This is almost always a marital game, since it is hardly conceivable that an informal liaison 
would present the required opportunities and privileges over a sufficient length of time, or that such 
a liaison would be maintained in the face of it. 
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The husband makes advances to his wife and is repulsed. After repeated attempts, he is told that all 
men are beasts, he doesn't really love her, or doesn't love her for herself, that all he is interested in 
is sex. He desists for a time, then tries again with the same result. Eventually he resigns himself and 
makes no further advances. As the weeks or months pass, the wife becomes increasingly informal 
and sometimes forgetful. She walks through the bedroom half dressed or forgets her clean towel 
when she takes a bath so that he has to bring it to her. If she plays a hard game or drinks heavily, 
she may become flirtatious with other men at parties. At length he responds to those provocations 
and tries again. Once more he is repulsed, and a game of "Uproar" ensues involving their recent 
behavior, other couples, their in-laws, their finances and their failures, terminated by a slamming 
door. 
This time the husband makes up his mind that he is really through, that they will find a sexless 
modus vivendi, months pass. He declines the negligee parade and the forgotten towel maneuver. 
The wife becomes more provocatively informal and more provocatively forgetful, but he still 
resists. Then one evening she actually approaches him and kisses him. At first he doesn't respond, 
remembering his resolution, but soon nature begins to take its course after the long famine, and 
now he thinks he surely has it made. His first tentative advances are not repulsed. He becomes 
bolder and bolder. Just at the critical point, the wife steps back and cries: "See, what did I tell you! 
All men are beasts, all I wanted was affection, but all you are interested in is sex!" The ensuing 
game of "Uproar" at this point may skip the preliminary phases of their recent behavior and their 
in-laws, and go right to the financial problem. 
It should be noted that in spite of his protestations, the husband is usually just as afraid of sexual 
intimacy as his wife is, and has carefully chosen his mate to minimize • the danger of overtaxing 
his disturbed potency, which he can now blame on her. 
In its everyday form this game is played by unmarried ladies of various ages, which soon earns 
them a common slang epidiet. With diem it often merges into the game of indignation, or "Rapo."