Games People Play

1 CORNER 
Thesis
. Comer illustrates more clearly than most games their manipulative aspect and their function 
as barriers to intimacy. Paradoxically, it consists of a disingenuous refusal to play the game of 
another. 
1. Mrs. White suggests to her husband that they go to a movie. Mr. White agrees. 
2a. Mrs. White makes an "unconscious" slip. She mentions quite naturally in the course of 
conversation that the house needs painting. This is an expensive project, and White has recently 
told her that their finances are strained; he requested her not to embarrass or annoy him by 
suggesting unusual expenditures, at least until the beginning of the new month. This is therefore an 
ill-chosen moment to bring up the condition of the house, and White responds rudely. 
2b. Alternatively: White steers the conversation around to the house, making it difficult for Mrs. 
White to resist die temptation to say that it needs painting. As in the previous case, White responds 
rudely. 
3. Mrs. White takes offense and says that if he is in one of his bad moods, she will not go to die 
movie with him, and he had best go by himself. He says if that is die way she feels about it, he will 
go alone. 
4. White goes to die movie (or out with the boys), leaving Mrs. White at home to nurse her injured 
feelings. There are two possible gimmicks in this game: A. Mrs. White knows very well from past 
experience that she is not supposed to take his annoyance seriously. What he really wants is for her 
to show some appreciation of how hard he works to earn their living; then they could go off happily 
together. But she refuses to play, and he feels badly lei down. He leaves filled with disappointment 
and resentment, while she stays at home looking abused, but with a secret feeling of triumph. 
B. White knows very well from past experience that he is not supposed to take her pique seriously. 
What she really wants is to be honeyed out of it; then they would go off happily together. But he 
refuses to play, knowing that his refusal is dishonest: he knows she wants to be coaxed, but 
pretends he doesn't. He leaves the house, feeling cheerful and relieved, but looking wronged. She is 
left feeling disappointed and resentful. 
In each of these cases die winner's position is, from a naive standpoint, irreproachable; all he or she 
has done is take the other literally. This is clearer in (B), where White takes Mrs. White's refusal to 
go at face value. They both know that this is cheating, but since she said it, she is cornered. 
The most obvious gain here is die external psychological. Both of diem find movies sexually 
stimulating, and it is more or less anticipated that after they return from the theater, they will make 
love. Hence whichever one of them wants to avoid intimacy sets up the game in move (2a) or (2b). 
This is a particularly exasperating variety of "Uproar" (see Chapter 9). The "wronged" party can, of 
course, make a good case for not wanting to make love in a state of justifiable indignation, and the 
cornered spouse has no recourse.