Games People Play

Transactional Paradigm
. The transactional analysis of a typical situation is presented, giving both 
the social and psychological levels of a revealing ulterior transaction. In its most dramatic form, 
IWFY at the social level is a Parent-Child game. 
Mr. White: "You stay home and take care of the house." 
Mrs. White: "If it weren't for you, I could be out having fun." 
At the psychological level (the ulterior marriage contract) the relationship is Child-Child, and quite 
different 
Mr. White: "You must always be here when I get home. I'm terrified of desertion." 
Mrs. White: "I will be if you help me avoid phobic situations." 
The two levels are illustrated in Figure 7. 
< FIGURE 7 > A Game 
Psychological level 
Adult 
Parent 
Child 
Adult 
Parent 
Child 
Social level 
Missis 
Mister 
"If ft weren't for you" 
"Stay home"
("Protect me'*) 
("I'm terrified") 
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Moves
. The moves of a game correspond roughly to the strokes in a ritual. As in any game, the 
players become increasingly adept with practice. Wasteful moves are eliminated, and more and 
more purpose is condensed into each move. "Beautiful friendships" are often based on the fact that 
the players complement each other with great economy and satisfaction, so that there is a maximum 
yield with a minimum effort from the games they play with each other. Certain intermediate, 
precautionary or concessional moves can be eluded, giving a high degree of elegance to the 
relationship. The effort saved on defensive maneuvers can be devoted to ornamental flourishes 
instead, to the delight of both parries and sometimes of the onlookers as well. The student observes 
that there is a minimum number of moves essential to the program of the game, and these can be 
stated in the protocol. Individual players will embellish or multiply these basic moves according to 
their needs, talents or desires. The framework for IWFY is as follows: 
(1) Instruction-Compliance ("You stay home"—"All right"). 
(2) Instruction-Protest ("You stay home again"—"If it weren't for you").