Guide to Informed Choices
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of your baby‖ (after the clinic has done its dirty work) and ―Cremation or burial‖ (for a proper burial for the ‗uterine tissue‘). 198
You can‘t just "send him back" ome people actually think they are just sending their children ―back to God" via abortion. For example, Jill writes on one abortion clinic‘s story page:
When I decided upon having an abortion, I told her about who she was going to see in heaven. Her great grandmother, God, her great uncle and everyone else who has passed away that meant so much to me. I know that she is in a better place now. She is in a place where she can't be hurt, she doesn't have to go through the pain of having to see the world how it is. I remember telling her that I will see her one day. I will hold her and love her
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As I see it, Jill makes a lot of assumptions. First of all, she assumes the aborted baby will be whisked to happiness. While I don‘t believe God would punish these aborted children by sending them away from him, neither do I believe that He mildly accepts them back with no wrath against the injustice they have just faced. Secondly, she assumes that the baby is now in a better place than had she been born. Yet how can we judge whether someone else would be happy or not. I believe that the unborn child has a purpose from heaven. He needs and wants to be born and is ordained by God to be born, but we killed him before he could live out that life. Thirdly, she assumes that, even though she rejected the gift which her own choices created and the only way she could send him back was by death, that she somehow is automatically eligible for ―heaven‖ and expects to be there celebrating one day herself. Now, I hope she does get there and God have mercy on us all, but aren‘t we being a little crazy here? We kill God‘s children. We don‘t repent of it, and we expect God to welcome us with open arms in heaven? Others further expect that whenever they change their mind in the future, God will of course send them another child — even though they paid for the last one to be killed — and might theoretically change their mind again. A god that didn‘t mind sacrificing his children might do that. It‘s true that it might be handy if there was a last-minute return policy, but there isn‘t. Once a child is conceived, the only way you can send him back is by killing him. S
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By the way, if this ‗killing‘ word is grating on you, check out Reason #26 Pro-choicers admit abortion is killing .
Now, some people argue that if the Christian view of heaven is correct, then all abortion is doing is sending the soul back to heaven. While that may be true on one level, i.e. abortion does not kill the soul and they are with God now (we think), it is not true that they did not experience death or that they had the opportunity to fulfill their God-given purpose. After all, if that was all there was to it, why not legalize murder? I mean, seriously, it‘s an awesome tool to send people to heaven and heaven is the best place anyway! Of course I‘m joking. But it‘s an odd world we live in where killing is a favor. One thing that is clear, however, is that gently "returning the soul back to God" is totally twisted.
What if you are just not ready but still want the best for your child? till not convinced that abortion is not the best for your child?
Turn to Reason #16:
Do you kill a child for their own good ? There are lots and lots of opportunities, people and programs to support you. See Reason #19: There are practical options . There are others who desperately want a baby if you don‘t. See Reason #82: There are so many couples who would love to parent if you don‘t .
Reason #15 ―Abortion is no act of love‖ S
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Reason #16 Do you kill a child for their own good?
Which is better — an unknown life or a certain death?
Confessions from pro-choice literature ―Some poor children have not been wanted by their parents and yet they grow up to have a good life. They overcome their poverty; they overcome the fact that they have bad parents and they become successful people in life.‖ 200
newsletter)
any people talk about abortion as being a solution. They say it prevents unwanted children from being born. We often talk about the importance of being wanted, yet wanting or not wanting a child is not always black and white. There may be conflicting emotions in a woman‘s mind. Women who initially may not want to be pregnant frequently change their mind as they watch an ultrasound or begin to feel their child move. Or perhaps a woman may feel like her pregnancy is very unwanted, yet with the right finances, friendship and support she may become very excited about this new life change. In contrast to this, even a planned and wanted child can seem ―unwanted‖ when mom wakes up the umpteenth time that night. Yet, in her situation we do not allow mothers to get rid of the ‗problem‘ at this age. Why? He is already born. ―He‘s a baby,‖ you say. But what real difference does that make? Inside or outside, he is still a human being. Of course this topic begs the question — does not wanting a child right now justify killing them? Do you kill someone for their own good? When you think about what a child needs to live, it's not some abstract quality of ―wantedness.‖ Rather it is food and water and warmth and shelter, which any parent or adoptee parent can provide. Did you know that in America today, over a million couples are waiting for a child to adopt? The number of infertile couples so greatly outnumber any amount of ―unwanted children‖ and could easily solve this entire unwantedness issue once and for all! In fact, because these couples who are wanting to adopt are frequently older, they are also usually in a better financial position than the birth mother. In M
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that way, the mother gets her ―unwanted pregnancy‖ taken care of and the child gets a family who can provide for her and really wants her. See Reason #82: There are so many couples who would love to parent if you don‘t on adoption. Even children with disabilities are wanted for adoption. It‘s true. All children are wanted by somebody.
Is being wanted more important than being alive? I believe it was Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood abortion clinics, who started this whole ―children must be wanted‖ thing. 201
Today Planned continues that philosophy, stating that ―every child deserves to come into the world wanted and loved.‖ 202
I agree, but I believe that every child first deserves to come into the world alive!
Abortion does not guarantee that wanted children will be happy
very parent wants their child to be happy, but there is no way to guarantee this. I can tell you — if there was — they would be selling it on the street corners and the whole world would know about it. Maybe you feel like you had an unhappy childhood and don‘t want to repeat this with your child. Then don‘t. You have the power to carve out the life that you desire. I‘m not just talking gibberish here. You can have what you need and desire in life. You can have and meet your goals. You can get a job. You can achieve an education. You can learn to understand how your upbringing affected you and how to change what you don‘t like. You can develop good parenting skills, budgeting skills, cooking skills, you name it! You can find counseling if you‘ve had a painful childhood. You can learn how to extract the best from your surroundings. It‘s truly not what you‘ve been given but how you react to your circumstances. I am here today to say that ―attitude determines altitude.‖ You can fly just as high as you believe you can. Your child will learn from your example. When you set goals and aims and don‘t allow yourself to give up, he will see that. Your child has free will like yourself. Even if you had the best existence on the planet to offer him, it‘s still possible that your child could be an unhappy, ungrateful child. Likewise, even if you had the worst existence on the planet, it‘s possible that your child could be happy. Children of some movie stars — for example — may be completely unhappy, while children of a E
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poor but loving mom can be the happiest children in the neighborhood. Happiness does not consist in owning things or objects but in knowing true worth, such as being loved, sharing and serving a cause that is greater than yourself (like writing a book). All of us go through moments of happiness and unhappiness in our lives. Some of us do seem to have more of one than the other, but it‘s all how we look at it that makes the difference. There is always someone better off than you and there is always someone in a worse situation. Ultimately, we can‘t take life‘s challenges from our children. They must learn to fly, and we will give them wings. To hold our children back from their destiny because we do not believe in them — or more correctly, in ourselves — is sad. We can do better.
Reason #16 ―Killing a child because you love them too much just doesn‘t make sense‖ Reason #17 Ignorance is bliss, until you discover the truth
here is a Zen story about a man and the Truth. One day the Truth comes knocking at the door and the man says, ―Go away, I‘m looking for the Truth.‖ You see, this is so true. Even when it's right before our eyes and right under our noses, we still often refuse to see the truth. But why do we do that? Jesus said, "The truth will set you free" (Jn. 8:32) How wonderful and how true. But we have to accept it first. That's why President James A. Garfield added, "The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable." 203
Sometimes the truth hurts. Is ignorance bliss? Yes, but only until you discover the truth. Sooner or later, the truth will come out. Vicki experienced this following two abortions at age 18 and 23. She relates: A couple of years later I got married and when I turned 27 my husband and I decided to have a baby. My son was so well T
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planned! We were both so happy to be having this child, what a gift! There was something that clouded it for me. You see, when I had my abortions I was completely clueless to fetal development…even with the second one…I think I chose to be ignorant.
―A part of my heart broke that day‖
When I had my first ultrasound I cried tears of joy because I was thrilled to see him and watch his little heart beat, but I also cried tears of grief and mourning from the realization of what I had done. It was an ―Oh my gosh…what did I do?‖ moment. They say ignorance is bliss, but that is only until you discover the truth. A part of my heart broke that day, a day that should have been one of the happiest of my life. For the first time, I saw the truth and had to look at things in a different light. Like the midday sun above, truth can be hard to look at. It can be painful. But the good news is, once you pull out the thorn of ignorance you can start to heal. Without removing the lie you can never properly feel great. Mostly great, but not fully great. It's like a lie that eats you up inside, and while you look great on the outside, the inside is hurting. (In Reason #51 we hear from Yoli how the lie of abortion ate her up on the inside.) It's a bit like that shiny apple that looks great on the outside, but on the inside it's all rotten. Don't be like a rotten apple. Be instead the torch of truth, lighting the way for others to see. I have another story to share with you now, about a girl named Sally, who also had an abortion. Let me introduce her story with a quote from that great man Mahatma Gandhi. "
An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody will see it." In other words, something doesn't become true because everybody talks about it or false because nobody believes it. Truth just is. Well, let's get down to that story: I had an abortion at the age of 16. The current culture out there seems to think that if one person is pro-abortion, then abortion is okay for them; if another is anti- abortion, then simply don't have one. But this opinion-based morality does not work. For instance, take a 16-year-old girl (like I was) that does not know much about anything. Put her in a crisis pregnancy situation. Let her mind dwell on all of the reasons that she should want to be rid of the unexpected pregnancy — to finish school more
easily, to
escape embarrassment, to make everything like it
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was before.. Give her a parent that tells her that she will be supported, no matter what. But don't give her any real truth, and more often than not that girl will probably choose abortion. (It's easier and quicker to "love" someone to the abortion table than it is to love them all through the 9 months of pregnancy and long years of child-rearing.) However, truth is a funny thing. No matter what you choose to believe, the truth stays as it is. For instance, if I choose to believe that gravity does not exist, I will still fall once I step off of the cliff. Abortion was that to me. I stepped off a cliff, choosing to believe that abortion would solve my problems, choosing to believe that if it is legal, it must be okay, and choosing to not even think about the "baby" but that I was simply in a "state of being" — pregnant, which could be reversed by abortion. But the truth was still there. I ran from it for awhile, but the truth has a way of catching up with you, and staring at you in the mirror. The very worst crash into the brick wall of truth came when I gave birth to my second child, and realized just what it was that I had thrown away. That was when I looked truth square in the eyes and finally felt enough to weep. She has no sibling, my daughter, and never will, now that I have lost my womb to cancer. I hadn't taken that into account when I aborted my first child — you take it for granted that you can have as many children as you want later on. The abortion was more than an incident in my life — it affected many lives. Even though I experienced the hardest time of my life — coming face to face with the reality that I paid for the death of my first child, was in the room when it happened, allowed violence to be done to the child I was supposed to protect. I am glad that at least I did face up to the truth — after all, anyone who stays in denial for anything, to the very end, never sees freedom.
―You take it for granted that you can have as many children as you want later on‖
happened on the abortion table those many years ago was painful, and I can never go back and change that terrible day when I coldly chose death for my child, but I'm glad I faced up to it all the way. I did so while doing a post-abortion Bible study — I faced up to it while holding God's hand, which was the most important part. There is a truth that harms you and Truth that
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sets you free. I finally sought help after my daughter was born, and found it through Healing Hearts Ministries. I don't know what my life would be like today without their help! I'm now free from the anguish of the truth. Free to love my daughter with gladness and free to share my story.
When Sally first faced the truth she ran away. But she discovered, as Elvis Presley once quipped, "Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't goin' away."
204 When she finally faced the truth she found freedom.
Sally is not alone in discovering the truth after an abortion.
When Cindy woke up she wanted to tell others: I decided that I should tell other girls the truth about abortion and its aftermath so that, at least, they could have all the facts in front of them before making a decision. I wouldn‘t wish for anyone to go through what I had experienced.
Sheila also wished she had had the truth before that important decision: I wish someone had told me the TRUTH about how much this one decision would affect so many other areas of my life in the future… I think I would have made a different choice.
Reason #39: Some things in life are wrong .
Quotable Quote ―Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence. ‖
Reason #17 ―Learn the truth about abortion and you won't get burned later‖
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Reason #18 Is this what you really want?
Paint me a picture There was a discomfort I hadn't expected, my emotional reaction to watching abortions. …I watched a married couple, in their mid-30s, the husband squeezing his wife's hand, stroking her forehead. Another woman, a single mom with a 10-year-old daughter, started crying when we talked about abortion. 205
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