Guide to Informed Choices
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Things happen for a reason, both for you and this baby. There is a plan for you and for this soul. Both of you have a timetable. See Reason #20: There is a plan
. M
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Who knows what the future holds? Your child might save your life.
See Reason #22: Maybe you are pregnant for a reason . Who knows if or when you‘ll get pregnant again?
Reason #78: Have a child now while you can!
Perhaps you‘re wondering if the time is right. Who can say if it won‘t be tough, but in the words of Martin Luther King, Jr., ―The time is always right to do what is right. ‖ 1323
Weird timing that ended up right arah Hinze, in her book Songs of the Morning Stars , relates the following interesting story of one couple whose timing proved to be right: They were both just out of college and didn‘t have all that much money between them–
They barely had the means to pay the rent and feed two mouths, let alone three. And yet, they both felt that a child wanted to join their family NOW .
But the time for children was definitely not yet. When Ted finished his degree and was well employed they would start their family. Their feelings about having a child remained strong so the couple thought and prayed about it, even seeing a pastor for counseling. …the troubled couple finally felt a peace in their hearts that if they would receive the child now, Heavenly Father would provide the way for them to care for it. So they had the child and God provided. This happened twice more and the couple responded in the same way. Now the story gets interesting. Following
the birth of their third child, but before Ted completed his graduate degree, Julie developed a sudden and life- threatening health problem. She was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery. She recovered, but with this diagnosis — she would never again bear children.
How happy the two of them must have been for that impulse to have children in that awkward and seemingly inconvenient time in their lives. God had known all along, that had they not started when they did, they would have missed having a family altogether. 1324
pregnancy, it is a story of the strange pregnancy timing working out to be the best thing after all.
Reason #95 ―Maybe the timing is right but you can‘t see it yet‖ S
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Reason #96 Read the messages from women who have been there
Learn from those who have done it ere are a few messages from the women and girls who wrote the stories in this book. They wrote this for you.
Cheryl says… I want to extend a word of hope to young people, because I pray especially for you: Courage is free. People willing to help you are out there. But you have to pick up a phone or move your jaw and ask for help. Asking for help is a heroic act of humility. The best place to start asking is in your heart. If you don‘t know God, just talk to Him as if He were sitting there in a chair. You will be pleasantly surprised. He does not take back the very free will He gave you, but He will let you experience the consequences of it. And even if you learn things the hard way, like I did, He is the king of mercy. Divine Mercy is all I possess at age 52, and it is enough. If you‘re considering abortion, here is my suggestion: Don‘t. Don‘t flirt with the many deceptions surrounding it. Look in your phone book under "abortion alternatives." Call 1-800- 848-LOVE. Give your baby up for adoption, and give yourself a good feeling. Birth mothers go through pain, but God, I am so proud of them for their courage. They have awesome adoption set-ups these days, and you can have a child who will one day say, ―Thanks, Mom.‖ To any young men who may be reading my story, I would say this: There is also such a thing as a father‘s heart, and I hope you take care of it. May God bless and protect all of you reading this.
Yoli says… Thinking about an abortion? Don‘t do it. The aftermath of abortion is far worse than anything you can imagine. You will regret your decision or you will regret having someone else make it for you. You cannot get that life back. Run as fast as you can away from anyone who says it‘s right. It‘s wrong. Dead wrong. Don‘t do what I did. I thought it would be the easy way out, but it‘s the hardest possible way out. I know you feel hopeless, but there is hope. There are caring people who want to wrap their arms around you. Deep inside you know what is right. It is the voice of truth, it is the voice of God, it is your own voice H
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of protection for your unborn child. You were created for motherhood. Protect your child; don‘t destroy it like so many others before you who have lived to regret it! Abortion is on-going trauma. There is nothing else like it. It is not a one-time event; it is a lifetime of consequences. You will never be the same. The problem of an unwanted pregnancy cannot compare with the agony of abortion. Aborting your baby is not the answer to your problems. It is only the beginning of a myriad of others. Go to a Pregnancy Center, talk to them, look at all the pictures and all the information that is available. I didn‘t have those resources when I made my decision. The life within you is beautiful and it represents a tiny, living baby formed in God‘s image, perfectly created by God. I know without a doubt if I had the necessary information 30 years ago, I would not have had an abortion.
Brittany says… There is no "recovery" from abortion; it is always there in your mind; it hurts a little every day. Seeing a child, a commercial with a baby or for baby products and every pregnant woman you meet will remind you that you had a chance for that. If you are reading this and have had an abortion and not sought help, please do! You can find closure, learn to love yourself again and forgive those involved. God loves you no matter your faults. I write this is in memory of Aaron Caleb Gamble.
Becky says… I‘m 46 years old and today, through the Healing Hearts Ministries, I counsel and minister to women, who like me, have experienced the deepest regret of their lives — abortion. I can‘t undo what I‘ve done, but you don‘t have to go there. If you‘re pregnant and you are considering abortion, think again. Think again and again! It might seem like that‘s your only alternative, it might seem like an easy way out; or the only way out, it might seem like it‘s the only answer, given your set of special circumstances, but it‘s not. Learn from my grievous ―choice‖ — Don‘t do it! You‘ll regret it for the rest of your life. And that is the truth.
Michelle says… Please don't abort your baby. Put your baby into arms of people who want them. Trust me, it‘s worth 9 months of getting fat just to be able to hold your baby and see him/her or even see pictures of them from their loving parents. Thank you. R.I.P. Gracie Rae Rubadue, August 15, 2007
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Hayley says… It‘s been 5 weeks today since the first tablet I took to start off the process, and the pain now is even worse. I am missing something... MY CHILD , MY BABY , MY ANGEL . Would my baby have been a girl? A little boy? Have brown hair? Blonde hair? What color eyes? I will never know this. Please, anyone out there who is thinking of getting an abortion, please just think long and hard! Please! I don‘t want people making the same mistake as me! The pain don‘t go away! You may think it does but that‘s a lie. It will stay with you forever. Here‘s my email if anyone wants to get in contact, whether you have had an abortion or you are thinking of getting
one (hayleymunns[at]googlemail.com). And for my baby who is in the arms of God, I am so deeply sorry.
Reason #96 ―Hear the messages of girls who have walked this path already‖ Reason #97 Parenting is not something you can ever be fully prepared for
learn as you go "I'm not having any children until after I'm thirty," I would tell my college roommates and, later, first-job friends. They'd look at me in disbelief and comment, "But, Mary, how will you keep up with them? By that time you'll be so, well, old!" "I have too much to do before I'm ready for kids," I'd reply as they turned back to their "101 names for our future children" lists. "If I wait until after thirty, I'll be ready." It was as much prayer as promise. 1325
BabyZone.com
ou might be thinking, well, if I was a bit older now and had some more experience in the world, you know, a nice degree, a good job, a stable relationship, then, maybe I would be ready. Well, not necessarily. In one of the parenting books I read the author tells of a Y
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friend who had all of this and had planned the pregnancy! However, when she confirmed the pregnancy, this 35-year-old professional woman suddenly became quite petrified by her own lack of skills and practical knowledge about babies — ―I can‘t do this alone. I may have been to medical school, but I‘m clueless about babies. I don‘t even know how to change a diaper — I‘m the baby of the family.‖ 1326
As the author observed, ―All of a sudden, this highly competent woman felt incompetent.‖ 1327
If even the most materially advantaged woman can feel incompetent, it‘s not so bad if you do. If even she — someone with seemingly everything in her favor for pregnancy — could suddenly keel over in panic after finding out the news, then, you‘re not doing so bad. Let‘s face it. You can never prepare yourself for every eventuality in life — and certainly not parenting. You can read pregnancy books by the hundreds, attend dozens of hospital parenting classes and spend hours imagining what it will be like. But, nothing can prepare you for the real experience. 1328
life practice! There is no substitute for reality. Becoming a parent is a process, not a one-time event. You have nine months just to adjust to the idea; then you get to start practicing for real. And remember, there is a first time for everything. There is a first time to walk, a first time to talk, a first time to drive, a first time to get a job. There is also a first time to parent, and in fact, even though you will become more prepared, each child you have is different. One blogger posted on this topic, ―There‘s no such thing as a prepared parent.‖ 1329
And I found this funny — a comment
posted in
response — ―…‗planned‘ parenthood is a doggone oxymoron. For REAL
.‖ 1330
Many new moms leaving the hospital have seriously wondered where the baby manual was and how in the world they will know how to look after this little being in their care; but somehow they managed and their baby thrived. Hey, maybe that was you. The zillions of books that exist on the topic are proof that other moms are also looking for advice. Just take a look at some of these titles that flow endlessly on at Amazon.com:
Moms-to-Be and New Mothers
The pregnancy bible: your complete guide
to pregnancy and early
parenthood
The new mother's survival guide: a primer for the first year of motherhood
you need to get you through the most important nine months of your life!
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woman's pocket companion for a safe and sound pregnancy
And you thought you were the only one that was worried?
See also Reason #23: Being young and pregnant isn't the worst thing in the world .
So what can you do? ndeed, what can you do? Wing it? Well, life is a bit like that and there are some things you can only learn on the job.
What else? Read those parenting books — hey, I did say they can‘t substitute for experience, but they can still be pretty useful. Befriend another mother. One that knows the ropes can reassure you that you aren‘t crazy, while someone your age can be a listening ear when you want to swap stories about your kid. Find like-minded women who you can walk the path with, whether that be single moms, inner city moms, young moms, working moms, homeschooling moms or whatever category you fall into. (Go to www.meetup.com
and
search under
‗parenting‘ for all groups in your zip code.) In summary, you don‘t have to give up just because you‘ve never walked the road before. You don‘t have to walk alone either.
Reason #97 ―You can
never know
everything beforehand — on the job
training is
the best
preparation‖
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Reason #98 Motherhood is an awesome experience
A rewarding cause ost women
who have
experienced motherhood speak of it as a rewarding experience they are looking forward to repeating — or at least one that should be experienced once in a lifetime. That‘s encouraging to those of us who aren‘t so sure what it will be like. Here are some thoughts on motherhood as a rewarding job:
Do you want the satisfaction of achievement in your career? No career in the world offers this reward at such an early age as motherhood. 1331
—Phyllis Schlafly
When I had a job in the workplace, what I did each day may or may not have mattered the next day. Very little mattered the next year. But with children, every single day is important.... 1332
septuplets (that‘s seven!)
We certainly all have many things to say about becoming a mother, on both the upside and the downside, but overriding all is a nearly universal sense of motherhood as one of the most meaningful, sacred experiences of a woman‘s lifetime. 1333
—Maren Hansen
Choice is a bad thing, says this pro choicer ―No woman should be authorized to stay at home to raise her children. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one.‖ 1334
A chance to make a difference Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. 1335
— George Eliot, English novelist s a parent you have a chance to make a difference in the life of a child. This is attested to by so many beautiful quotes.
As Jesus was saying these things, a woman in the crowd called out, "Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you." —Luke 11:27 M A
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God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. —Jewish proverb
My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her. 1336
—George Washington
All I am, or can be, I owe to my angel mother.
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—Abraham Lincoln
From my mother, I learned the value of prayer, how to have dreams and believe I could make them come true. 1338
—Ronald Reagan
My mother is my root, my foundation. She planted the seed that I base my life on, and that is the belief that the ability to achieve starts in your mind. As I have said before, I hope I'm successful in passing this on to my children. 1339
—Michael Jordan
Every child is our opportunity to shape the future of the world. 1340
—Loren Slocum
Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother. 1341
omen who have had a child say that becoming a mother is an ongoing learning process and a life-changing experience. A child‘s
innocence and sweetness reminds us that life is still good. Their need for you here and now keeps you living in the now. Their odd way of looking at life is amusing, and their honesty sees through all pretending. Many women say that what they thought would be boring is instead fulfilling. Simply breast feeding a child and watching him sleep or play on the swings is special. It‘s also said that, you don‘t really live fully until you have a child. It is said that a mother is the only one who can keep multiplying her love, without it ever running out. Conversely, some people think that a child will give them love and that is true — just so long as you give it first. As a mother the relationship with your child is unlike any other. You will probably feel a stronger love tie with them than with anyone else. Perhaps, as children, that‘s why we cherish Mom so much. She is always there for us. She feeds us. She looks after us. She encourages us. Above all, she loves us. W
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For TV Star Mariska Hargitay, her first baby changed her life for the better: ―One of the greatest things about becoming a mother is that it redefines you. I never knew I was capable of loving another person so much.‖ 1342
It could change your life too.
Reason #98 ―Motherhood has its rewards and the hard work does not come without benefits‖ Reason #99 Save a life today
Make a difference in the world! once saw an ad for the blood bank. It said, ―Saving the world isn‘t easy. Saving one life is.‖ Have you ever dreamed of making a difference in the world? I know I have. Have you ever sat and wished you could do something to help others who were poor, suffering, sad or lonely? Have you ever hoped that in some small way that your life might make a difference to someone? The good news is, you can make
a difference! You can positively affect someone forever. That someone? Your child. Have you heard the saying, ―To the world you may only be one person, but to one person you may be the world‖? It‘s true. To your child you are everything. You are life, and you can save your child from death. What greater achievement is there than saving someone‘s life? Not all of us get a chance to do that. It doesn‘t take your life to save his, but it might take some sacrifices. I‘m reminded of Jesus‘ words, ―Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.‖ (Jn. 15:13) I
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A pregnant woman has within herself the power to save a life. She also has the power to let another destroy that life. Which will she choose? Life is about choices. It‘s hard to save the whole world, but we can save our child‘s life. What would the world even be without children? How can we save another life if we can‘t even save those closest to us — our own flesh and blood — our children? In some way, small or great (because you can never know who your child will become) you can add value to this planet. That reminds me of the proverb, ―The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.‖ In a very real way you can play a part in the shaping the future by raising and guiding a child for tomorrow‘s world. You‘ve probably all heard the saying: Fifty years from now it will not matter what kind of car you drove, what kind of house you lived in, how much you had in your bank account or what your clothes looked like. But the world may be a little better place because you were important in the life of a child. 1343
What will be said of you in 50 years?
Related topic: Reason #67: You might be aborting a genius
Think there are too many people already? Then your reason is Reason
#79: The population explosion is an urban myth .
Reason #99 ―Saving a life feels good and is a great way to make a real difference in the world‖
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Reason #100 You can still live your dreams
It‘s not over till it‘s over and it ain‘t over yet re you seeing your future go up in smoke? Does this pregnancy seem like a dead-end street? If so, you wouldn‘t be the first. What if you had a really big goal and you were just about there, and then, great — you got pregnant. That happened to Tasha Danvers-Smith. ―She shunned abortion; now has son and medal,‖ proclaimed the title of the news article in BP Sports. But four years ago it looked like Olympian athlete Tasha Danvers-Smith was forever passing up her precious dream of competing in the Olympics. You see, she got pregnant, and not just pregnant at any time, but right before the Athens games. Training for the Olympics is rigorous stuff. Athletes spend their entire lives preparing themselves for this one event. Everything else in their life must submit to it. Their diet, training and waking hours are all designed to move them closer to their goal — that medal. And she had a chance at that medal. At the time Tasha was ranked the number 6 th hurdler in the world. Tasha admits she considered abortion. Indeed, she had a lot to lose. Not just a little promotion or a college course but the chance of a lifetime, the chance to compete with the world‘s best. Most of us watch them on TV but few get to participate in the dream. It‘s known that the careers of athletes don‘t last long — you only have so long to compete with the best before age catches up with you and some young person takes your medal. Indeed, some in the sports world suggested she should get an abortion and she herself considered it. However, she decided not to have an abortion, because, in her words ―…this line from the Scriptures kept coming into my head: 'For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul?' For me, the whole world was the Olympics. At the same time, I felt I would be losing my soul."
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So what happened next? Was that the end? No! It seems the Almighty looked favorably upon Tasha‘s decision. Not only was she given a healthy son named Jayden, but four years later in the Beijing Olympics she returned to compete, bringing home a bronze medal and a personal best time. What a happy moment that must have been for her. Not only did she have her medal, she had her son (and soul too). A
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After winning she said, ―Don't ever give up.‖ 1345
In conclusion, many girls have abortions because they feel like their future will be over if they have the child. Fortunately, the evidence shows it doesn‘t have to be that way.
Ways to keep your dream alive Keep the hope alive. Believe.
Plan. Be realistic and create a breakdown of the steps needed to achieve your goals.
Keep working towards your goals. Do whatever you can, whenever you can, to inch forward toward your goals.
Trust that there is a plan. Know that God has a plan for your success.
Do the right thing. The rewards for right action are happiness and joy; the rewards for wrong action are a success that is tinged by sadness.
For some practical ideas see Reason #19: There are practical options to make things work for you .
For emotional support see Reason #23: Being young and pregnant isn't the worst thing in the world .
Reason #100 ―Even if your dreams are delayed you can still achieve them‖
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Reason #101 Be prepared — you might just enjoy being a mom!
A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. —John 16:21
ave you ever thought something was going to be really bad and then when it actually happened, it wasn‘t so bad after all? Have you ever experienced something scary and then found out that once you got through the fear it really wasn‘t so scary? Have you ever experienced something good happen when you least expected it? Sometimes having a baby is like that. Right now, happiness and motherhood might not seem like two words that go together, but frequently in real life they do. The first reminder comes from Mariska Hargitay, TV star from Law and Order. She made these comments just after having her first child: I get it.. There is something you can‘t understand until you have your own. You have so much love that you didn‘t even know about….We stare at him, we‘re so in love. This is what I was meant to do. You make sacrifices to become a mother, but you really find yourself and your soul. 1346
―You have so much love that you didn‘t even know about‖
Another star to gush about motherhood is pop singer Gwen Stefani. After having a baby she told the Daily Mail: Motherhood isn't quite what I thought it was going to be. I thought it would change me as a person, but I still feel like my old self. I haven't changed. I still talk the same. I still act the same. Creatively, I feel exactly the same. The only difference is that life is now much better. I now have this mind-blowing little guy who is the reward for a lot of hard work. After having Kingston, I felt complete. 1347
How about some words from an everyday person and not a pop star (at least if she is I don‘t know about it!). Tena had already had one abortion and one living H
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child when she became pregnant again: Seven months later I found out I was pregnant again. I did not think I could love another baby. In September I had a 9 lb 10 oz. baby boy that stole my heart. I cannot imagine life without that little bundle of joy!
There is hope for those of us who aren‘t feeling too motherly right now, as one mom writes: Before having children, I had never considered myself a maternal person. But then one day you‘re holding your newborn baby in your arms and it sets in: ―Wow, I was made to do this.‖ 1348
allow us to get pregnant without giving us the power to also enjoy it. In The Third Choice: A Woman‘s Guide to Placing a Child for Adoption, the authors explain how loving your unborn child may come to you unexpectedly: Maybe it‘s not a conscious attachment, but you may wake up one day with an overpowering love for the baby you are carrying. This may happen the first time you feel your baby kick, or when you see your first ultrasound. Even if you never thought you wanted to be a mom, it is difficult not to feel love for your baby. 1349
for her, with seven babies and one 3-year- old. This wasn‘t what she‘d planned, but she‘s taken it all in her stride and by the sound of it, she‘s enjoying it too: Seeing the smiles on the faces of my children when I talk to them provides some of the most rewarding moments of motherhood. Something about the sound of my voice makes their eyes sparkle… I remember when Mikayla first began calling me ―Mom.‖ Few moments in life are that precious. 1350
Feminist author
finds motherhood not as expected Pre-baby attitude ―I instinctively felt that I must be loyal to my mother's version....To stop working and raise children...smelled of betrayal and a lack of appreciation for the progress made on behalf of women's liberation.‖ 1351
Post-baby attitude ― ‗I adore him,‘ she says. ‗He‘s really into running and jumping and he‘s very attached to me. It‘s all, ‗Mommy, Mommy, Mommy‘, and it‘s very difficult to leave him.‘ ‖ 1352
—Rebecca Walker, daughter of feminist Alice Walker, godmother Gloria Steinem
You can read her whole journey in the book Baby Love: Choosing Motherhood After a Lifetime of Ambivalence
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Finally, I love these empowering words from Feminists for Life‘s Patricia Heaton: Women who are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy also deserve
unplanned joy. 1353
Remember, the best things in life are often the ones that are unplanned, unpredicted and unexpected. Maybe your pregnancy could one of them?
The hard work and the rewards eing a mom is full on, that‘s for sure. Are there
rewards involved? Absolutely! Will you have to work hard for them? Yes, but that‘s always the deal. Yes, all good things take hard work. What doesn‘t? But don‘t forget the rewards. As one mom wrote, ―When I was pregnant…I let my fears rob me of the joy I should have felt. I thought of all the hard things instead of all the good things — how fun it is to watch her play, to see her take her first steps, to run around the house with the older girls.‖ 1354 Be practical, but don‘t be a pessimist. You found yourself between a rock and a hard place and you overcame your obstacles. That‘s a cause for celebration! Then there‘s the knowing that you listened to your heart, you did what you felt was right. Even with tough economic times there‘s no regret. Mark Twain once said, ―Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did.‖ Makes you think, doesn‘t it?
Children are sweet blessings t was only the other day that I was shopping for some paint in the hardware store Home Depot. As I stood in line, I noticed the woman in front of me. A trendy woman in her 30s, I noticed her shopping cart with a gorgeous little baby in it. I just love kids, don't you? Well, I looked at this little boy and he looked at me. I smiled at him and he made the cutest little happy sounds — of course, which made me burst out laughing. It was just too cute. I made faces at him, which apparently looked funny because he started waving his baby arms and legs around like they were windmills. I offered my finger and he wrapped his tiny fingers around my heart. Okay, I admit it, I was enchanted. He stole my heart. But it did make me see just how much happiness babies can bring. Well, anyhow, still in line, I got talking to this pretty mom and she said something like, ‗You know, I‘ve done everything. I‘ve travelled. I‘ve worked. I‘ve done New York. Ya know. And this is the most satisfying thing I‘ve ever done. I‘ve got friends who are in their forties and they can‘t have kids B I
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and they say to me, don‘t be like us and wait till you can‘t have them…I‘m in love with him... He‘s my life…You wouldn‘t believe it, but I don‘t even feel like going to the movies anymore. I just want to stay home, you know, be with him… I tell you, it‘s worth it.‖ Her happy face told me she was for real. You never know who you‘ll meet when you go shopping. I mean, think of all the things that you could enjoy about being a mom — getting doted on in supermarkets with your cute little bundle and saying, ―Thank you, yes, she‘s tiny isn‘t she,‖ ―Her name is Ashley Rose‖. ―She‘s two weeks old‖ and so on. Well, I know, that‘s not too serious, but there are fun times. The knowing that your little girl looks up to you like you are God or Superwoman or something (kids do this, you know). Then there is the joy in having something (more than a dog or cat) to love and be loved by. I think that in itself has to be one of — if not the most — satisfying things in life. One anonymous parent put it this way, ―Having a baby is the closest thing to a miracle that the average person ever experiences.‖ 1355
Reason #101 ―You might just love being a mom after all!‖ 101 Reasons Not to Have an Abortion: A Girl‘s Guide to Informed Choices
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Final Words
Hopefully now that you‘ve read this book you‘ve discovered some personal reasons not to have an abortion. Why not take a moment now to go back and find your ten favorite reasons not to have an abortion:
1_________________________________ 2_________________________________
3_________________________________ 4_________________________________
5_________________________________ 6_________________________________
7_________________________________ 8_________________________________
9_________________________________ 10________________________________
will want to make a plan of action. What choices will you make? What resources will you seek? Here‘s a recap of some possible action steps:
Get Support: Seek responsible family, friends, pregnancy counselors and spiritual mentors who can provide strength.
Tell the child‘s father: Talk with the father of the child about how you would like him involved and what he is willing to do.
Be informed: Educate yourself about pregnancy, birth, child development and adoption.
Assess practical needs: Figure out if you need assistance with accommodation, parenting courses, job help, etc.
Verify housing: Determine if you have a place to stay or if you will need to move in with relatives, friends or assisted housing.
Confirm education/job: Choose
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whether to continue, defer, change schools/jobs, leave or other.
Seek medical services: Select a medical center for pre-natal checkups and classes and where you want to give birth.
Stay healthy: Take care of yourself, because there‘s two to look out for now!
Make connections: Join a parenting group online or in person to share advice, ask questions and make new friends.
Dream: Map out your goals for the next 10 years and some steps to get there — this is a new beginning!
I encourage you to plan what action you are going to take and what is going to happen. Empower yourself to choose and take control of your life. Life may be unexpected, but it doesn‘t give you something you can‘t face. I believe that. You are strong enough to tough this one out and choose life, if you want to. You can do it! Sir Winston Churchill once said — and this is a great time to use his quote — ―Never abandon life. There is a way out of everything except death.‖ As you think about what‘s ahead of you, just remember the words of Henry Ford, ―Whether you believe you can, or whether you believe you can't, you're absolutely right.‖ In the end, the choice is yours. I can‘t make it for you and I wouldn‘t want to. Choose wisely and be happy! Allow me to end with some words by the famous poet Shakespeare.
―We know what we are, but know not what we may be.‖ Endless possibilities await to surprise even you! I‘m sure of it. He also said, ―To be or not to be, that is the question.‖ That is indeed the question. Make an informed choice and be happy! I wish you all the best and please write!
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Resources A bortion Alternatives — i.e., to how to keep your baby There are many different Pregnancy Centers across the United States, but here is my pick of some of the more unique ones.
www.nurturingnetwork.org The Nurturing Network 1-800-TNN-4MOM These people know how to love! As always, they provide support and practical assistance.
www.birthright.org Birthright 1-800-550-4900 Some may prefer an organization that is not affiliated with any church or other organization. This organization is for you.
www.thehelpline.org America's Crisis Pregnancy Helpline 800-672-2296 This website is a bit like an online pregnancy center. It covers lots of different topics and is easy to look through.
www.optionline.org Find your own center closest to you! This website is searchable by state or zip code.
ccommodation — useful sites www.lifecall.org Lifecall lists shelters and pregnancy centers for pregnant girls and women. It‘s probably the best site if you need somewhere to stay in an emergency, because there are a lot more contacts in each state. Both HarbourHouse and Lifecall are searchable by state.
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www.harborhouse.org
The best place to locate a maternity home in your state is Harbor House. They are a maternity home themselves, but also have a menu down the side of the page including a subheading called ‗other resources‘. Under it is a link to ‗Other maternity homes‖ or just go direct: www.harborhouse.org/links/maternityhomes.htm
A searchable government website where you can find a number to call for all types of government benefits, including rent assistance for low or very low income individuals.
http://portal.hud.gov/portal/page/portal/HUD/topics/rental_assistance Another government website on housing. Includes links to information on low income subsidized housing.
A ddictions — sites to help you quit Cigarettes: www.quitline.com
Quit Line (Toll free) 1-800-784-8669 Alcohol and drugs: www.recoveryconnection.org
Recovery Connection (Toll free) 1-800-993-3869 A doption — information on www.adoption.com
A comprehensive site on local and international adoptions. Includes information for both birth mothers and adoptive mothers, adoption issues and joys, starting the adoption process, message board, news and more.
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www.openadoption.org
Discusses open adoptions, what open adoptions are and are not, benefits of a child- friendly stance and more.
There are many adoption agencies, but here are two places you may want to start with: www.bethany.org
Bethany Christian Services is an adoption service that facilitates domestic and international adoptions.
www.americanadoptions.com American Adoptions is a large non-religious adoption agency that facilitates domestic adoptions.
B aby supplies — help with You can buy baby clothes, diapers and toys just about everywhere but if you are on a tight budget try: www.craigslist.org, www.ebay.com and Saturday morning garage sales, where you can often buy a whole bag of baby clothes for a great bargain. Cheaper places also include second hand clothing store such as consignment stores and Goodwill stores.
www.pregnancycenters.org/advantage.asp If you‘re in a real tight squeeze, call the local pregnancy centers in your area. Helping you is their reason for being. They usually have new or gently used baby items that have been donated for just such a purpose.
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www.bestonlinehighschools.com
Browse over a 100 online high schools. For those who wish to complete their high schooling online instead of in person.
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www.acenet.edu
If you missed out on getting your high school diploma but believe you are capable of passing the test without further schooling you can arrange to take the test. This is the official site and includes study guides, sample questions and local testing sites.
www.college.gov This government site is user friendly and easy to navigate. Find college information such as benefits of attending, how to pay for it and picking the right one for you
www.earnmydegree.com Search degrees of your choice and find the online college that offers them. This is for those who would find an online college more convenient.
F inancial assistance — tips to make things work www.modestneeds.org
This is a foundation that gives grants to low-income families. You can register and put a request in for any sort of one-time assistance, be that help for paying one rent, a medical bill, car repairs or anything that is a basic need. Once approved, donors from the general public may give towards your cause.
www.debtmerica.com This is an example of one of the many types of debt relief agencies out there that will help you get your financial life in order, debts paid and credit rating back
If you have financial problems, bringing in more money is always good! You can search for local jobs at places such as www.careerbuilder.com , www.hotjobs.yahoo.com and http://jobsearch.monster.com, as well as your local newspaper.
may offer help with budgeting. There are too many different types of government assistance for me to begin listing them here.
―Raising Kids with just a little cash,‖ by Lisa Reid 101 Reasons Not to Have an Abortion: A Girl‘s Guide to Informed Choices
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Raising kids doesn‘t have to be expensive. Find inspiration and ideas in this helpful little book. Available for free loan at your local library.
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Women, Infant and Children Program (supplemental food vouchers) www.fns.usda.gov/wic or 1 800 342 5942
Food Stamp Program www.fns.usda.gov/snap/snap.htm or toll-free 1-800-221-5689 (Food Stamps, now renamed Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program)
For emergency help contact a women‘s shelter (see accommodation) P.S. In the long term try growing vegetables in your back yard or in pots, depending on your accommodation arrangement. Seeds are cheap, and with a little work you can save a lot of money in the long run. Farmer‘s markets are also frequently cheaper (and tastier) than supermarkets.
L egal Action — got a case to sue? www.abortioninjury.com Free legal help if you have been injured by an abortion.
www.prolife.com/800-U-Can-Sue.html Another site to help you with legal recourse. Find out if you qualify by calling one of the numbers on their site.
Tip: If you don‘t have a computer or Internet access at house you can go to your local library where it is free.
There are more resources listed in Reasons #19 and
#24 .
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P ost-Abortion help — counseling, ministries and support groups www.safehavenministries.com
Christian group with a message board where you can post and receive support. www.silentnomoreawareness.org
A project of Priests for Life and Anglicans for Life, which aims to increase public awareness of abortion through speaking about abortion.
www.rachelsvineyard.org A Catholic ministry which holds weekend retreats across the country.
www.abortionrecovery.org A good general site to search for recovery programs in your area.
www.memorialfortheunborn.org Place a plaque on their ―wall of names‖ in memory of your lost child. Located on the site of a former abortion clinic, this memorial is consecrated to healing the pain of abortion.
There are too many sites to list them all, so this is just a sample of what‘s out there. If you are looking for a non-faith based counselor you will probably have to go to a regular grief counselor. Although they do not specialize in abortion they may still be of some use.
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http://parenting.ivillage.com
This is a fun site that covers almost everything about parenting. There are discussions, articles, baby pics, pregnancy calendars, name finders and a lot more!
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This site is for girls who are pregnant and want some fashionable clothing for their pregnancy. The online store has the latest styles, and its lots of fun to look through even if you don‘t buy anything.
www.cafemom.com This is a fun place to connect online with other mums of all types and sorts. Join groups, share photos and make friends…and as always, be safe.
This is just to get you started…there is so much out there. R ape and relationship abuse — hotlines and support numbers National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233
Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE Get online help 24/7 with online messaging at www.rainn.org
A Christian lady who has experienced a rape pregnancy and is willing to talk with victims (920) 739-4489 Contact Kay Zibolsky (former president of the Life After Assault League )
S pecial needs children — info on loss services, parenting support and adoption www.stringofpearlsonline.org
A website for parents who have been given a fatal diagnosis for their baby www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org
This organization provides beautiful and sensitive keepsake photography for parents 101 Reasons Not to Have an Abortion: A Girl‘s Guide to Informed Choices
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who are likely to lose or who have just lost their baby. Provided for free.
www.chop.edu The Children‘s Hospital of Philadelphia is one example of a hospital which offers fetal diagnosis and treatment. Many other children‘s hospitals can be found in your area. Your healthcare provider should be able to help you.
http://tchin.org/portraits/by_diagnosis.htm This site has a heap of personal stories from parents whose babies were diagnosed with some type of heart problem. Obviously there are many other types of conditions, but I included this site because it shows that there is still light at the end of the tunnel.
www.chask.org This is one of many agencies that specialize in adoptions for special needs kids. CHASK stands for Christian Homes and Special Needs Kids.
www.childrensdisabilities.info Articles and resources empowering parents of children with disabilities and special needs.
T ake Action! — ways to get involved www.marchforlife.org Annual March for Life on Washington D.C.
www.walkforlifewc.com Annual walk for Life on the West Coast
www.priestsforlife.org/government/effectiveletter.htm Tips on letter writing to your representative
www.studentsforlife.org 101 Reasons Not to Have an Abortion: A Girl‘s Guide to Informed Choices
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Join your local college group
www.40daysforlife.com Join a prayer vigil near a local clinic
www.lifeissues.org/eCard Send an e-card to someone who has lost a child from abortion
www.optionline.org Volunteer at a pregnancy center near you.
www.nationalprolifetshirtday.com Wear a shirt for the annual pro-life T-shirt day
www.washforlife.org Hold a car wash fundraiser for your local pregnancy center
www.victorywon.com Purchase a pro-life bumper sticker or jewelry
www.prolifeinternet.com Earn money for pro-life with just a click
www.prolifeunity.com Find other any pro-life organizations with this site‘s ―Ultimate Pro-Life Resource List‖ (look under ―About Us‖)
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www.standupgirl.com This site was started by a girl who found herself with an unplanned pregnancy. It‘s a great, empowering site for young women who are pregnant unexpectedly.
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You Look too Young to be a Mom: Teen Mothers Speak Out on Love, Learning and Success, by Deborah Davis This book realistic but positive. It shares stories of young moms and the challenges they face making it work. Inspirational. Available for free loan at your local library.
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www.selfevidenttruth.org Cool, easy to read, logical arguments
www.abort73.com Addresses the popular abortion arguments with the hard truth and images
www.liveaction.org Pro-life undercover work by young people
www.generationsforlife.org Start or join a pro-life club at your high school
www.culturejamforlife.com Going against the grain the pro-life way
More cool pro-life with a different spin — being a survivor www.teenage-pregnancy.org
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About the Author
Serena Gaefke conceived this book as an Australian 24-year-old newlywed and Green Card holder to the United States. At the time the outcome was unknown. Where would the money come from? How could she do it? What would others think? Still, she opened herself to the possibility and her project grew and grew. Four years later, after extensive personal research and much bonding with her personal computer, her project was ready to come into this world. At times it seemed too overwhelming or even that it was overdue – yet she choose not to abort it. And now, she has not regrets that she nurtured it to its full devlopement. It brings her much joy to announce to the world, her firstborn baby, 101
Reasons Not to Have an Abortion.
Do you have a story to share? Noticed a broken link or spelling error? Just like to write? Email: serena[AT]101girlsguide. com 101 Reasons Not to Have an Abortion: A Girl‘s Guide to Informed Choices
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Endnotes
Tip:
When looking up further details in the bibliography, if a book title and/or page number is given, you can look it up in the bibliography under ―books.‖ If a heading is given and there is no page number, you can be sure to look it up in the ―websites‖ section using the writer‘s name or organization‘s name, whichever is given. For example, the first note is an article and can be found under the author‘s name under websites. The seventh note refers to a book that can be located alphabetically under ‗books‘.
NO NOTES!
Notes for Reason #2 1 Quoting then Presidential candidate Barrack Obama in Ertelt, ―John McCain, Barack Obama display….‖ 2 Quoting leader of the Democrats Nancy Pelosi in Ertelt, ―Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi joins…‖ 3 Thanks Dr. Liley for that thought. Referring to something Dr. Liley said in the reprinted Sassone in ―Development of the Tiniest Humans…‖ 4 Referring to something Professor Jerome Lejeune said in Sassone, ―Development of the Tiniest Humans…‖ 5 Referring to the Fox News Poll found at PollingReport.com, ―Abortion and Birth Control‖ 6 Quoting Dr. Richard V. Jaynes, U.S. Senate Judiciary Subcommittee Hearing, April 23-24, 1981 in AbortionInfo.net, ―Fetal Development.‖ 7 Some of the information for this creative piece came from Nilsson and Hamberger, A Child is Born, pp. 50-65. 8 Barans, ―Women's Reproductive Self-Determination: Pro Choice…‖ 9 The only people who share the same DNA are identical twins, and that is because they originated from the same fertilized egg. 10 This selection of phrases comes from the dictionary definitions found at Dictionary.com, s.v. ―fetus‖ 11 This selection of phrases comes from the dictionary definitions found at Dictionary.com, s.v. ―offspring.‖ 12 Quoting Justice Harry Blackmun in his delivery of the Supreme Court‘s January 22,, 1973 Roe v. Wade decision in Harrison and Gilbert, Abortion Decisions… The 1970s, p. 29. 13 Harrison and Gilbert, Abortion Decisions… The 1970s, p. 29. 14 Harrison and Gilbert, Abortion Decisions… The 1970s, p. 29. 15 Harrison and Gilbert, Abortion Decisions… The 1970s, p. 31. 16 Harrison and Gilbert, Abortion Decisions… The 1970s, p. 29. 17 Harrison and Gilbert, Abortion Decisions… The 1970s, p. 44. 18 Harrison and Gilbert, Abortion Decisions… The 1970s, p. 44.
Notes for Reason #3 19 Quoting psychologist Vincent Rue from David Kupelian and Jo Ann Gasper, ―Abortion, Inc.‖ New Dimensions,
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October 1991, p. 16 in AbortionFacts.com, ―Abortionists Speak on Abortion.‖ 20 Daniel Soñé, ―A Botched Abortion in Mother‘s Own Words.‖ 21 A true incident related in Korn, Lovejoy, p. 25. 22 Weber, ―An Abortionist‘s Right to Deceive…‖ 23 Jane Elliott, ― ‗I survived an abortion attempt.‘ ― 24
25
Early Options, ―Questions?‖ 26 Many fetal photos are available online. These here are reprinted with permission from Life Issues Insitute. If you want to verify these photos just do a bit of searching online at pregnancy or college biology websites. 27 American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, ―Induced Abortion.‖ 28
All Women‘s Center, ―Abortion Facts.‖ 29 Hertz,
Caught in the Crossfire, pp. 104-105. 30 Old Pueblo Family Planning, ―Facts about Early Abortion.‖ 31
Planned Parenthood, ―Surgical Abortion.‖ 32
Boulder Abortion Clinic, P.C., ―Medical Procedures.‖ 33
Boulder Abortion Clinic, P.C., ―Medical Procedures.‖ 34
All Women‘s Center, ―Abortion Facts.‖ 35
Fayeteville Women‘s Clinic, ―Q & A Concerning Abortion Care.‖ 36
Choices Women‘s Medical Center, ―Surgical Abortion Services at Choices.‖ 37
Atlanta SurgiCenter, ―Late Abortion Facts.‖ 38 MEASUREMENTS OF THE FETUS AT 12 WEEKS: Hern, Abortion Practice, p. 214. WEIGHT OF AN EMPTY ALUMINIUM DRINK CAN 14G: Novelis Corporation, ―Recycling Pop Quiz.‖ WEIGHT OF A BLUE TOOTH HEADSET 14g: Amazon.com, ―Anycom DELOS-14 Bluetooth Head- Set Only…‖ 39 Hern, Abortion Practice, p. 304.
Notes for Reason #4 40 Referring to the US Supreme Court decisions, Akron v.. Akron Center for Reproductive Health, 1983, and Thornburg v ACOG 1986 in Reardon , Aborted Women, p. 234. 41 Referring to Chief Justice Harry Blackmun on Thornburgh v. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, June 11, 1986 in Harrison and Gilbert, Abortion Decisions…The 1980s, pp. 77-78, 85-89, 143-144. 42 Quoting exact words from the bill under debate, as spoken by Justice Powell in Akron v. Akron Center for Reproductive Health, June 15 1983 in Harrison and Gilbert, Abortion Decisions…The 1980s, pp. 76-77. 43
Decisions…The 1980s, p. 142. 44 Quoting Chief Justice Harry Blackmun in FindLaw, ―U.S. Supreme Court: Thornburgh v. …‖ 45 Quoting Chief Justice Harry Blackmun on Thornburgh v. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, June 11,, 1986 in Harrison and Gilbert, Abortion Decisions…The 1980s, p. 87. 46 Quoting Chief Justice Harry Blackmun on Thornburgh v. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, June 11,, 1986 in Harrison and Gilbert, Abortion Decisions…The 1980s, p. 143.
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47 Quoting Chief Justice Harry Blackmun on Thornburgh v. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, June 11,, 1986 in Harrison and Gilbert, Abortion Decisions…The 1980s, pp. 141-143. 48 Justice White (joined by Justice Rehnquist) on Thornburgh v. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists June 11,, 1986 in Harrison and Gilbert, Abortion Decisions…The 1980s, p. 162. 49 Abortionist Dr. Alberto Hodari addressing a group of medical students at Wayne State in Detroit, MI on November 9, 2007, sponsored by Medical Students for Choice, lecture privately recorded by Students for Life of America, ―hodari- generic-upload.mp4,‖ Duration of quote 34.05-34.23 min.
50 Mathewes-Green recalling her own earlier words in ―Seeking Abortion's Middle Ground . ‖
51 Francke, The Ambivalence of Abortion, p. 29. 52 Quoting ―Vanessa Landry‖ in Reardon, Aborted Women, p. 277.
Notes for Reason #6 53 Carol remains the rights holder to this story, which I gained through correspondence with her. Used with permission. 54 Carol remains the rights holder to this story, which I gained through correspondence with her. Used with permission. 55 This story was retold by the sidewalk counselor Georgia, who helped Nereyda. Froncek, ―Miracle Baby: Mother Successfully Battles…‖ 56 Rachel remains the rights holder to this story, which I gained through correspondence with her. Used with permission.
Notes for Reason #7 57 Referring to an experience Randy Alcorn had while being interviewed. Alcorn, Pro Life Answers to ProChoice Arguments, p. 134. 58 Quoting Kate Michelman, president of NARAL Pro-Choice America to the Philadelphia Inquirer (1993) in Chen, ―Are You Ready to Really…‖. 59 Clinton, ―Remarks by Senator Hillary Rodham…‖ 60 Paris,
The Sacrament of Abortion, p. 95. 61 Quoting Karen Tuthill‘s story in Francke, The Ambivalence of Abortion, p. 63. 62 Quoting Sally Ordway‘s story in Francke, The Ambivalence of Abortion, pp. 109-110. 63 Francke, The Ambivalence of Abortion, p. 63. 64 Quoting Robin Terhune‘s story in Francke, The Ambivalence of Abortion, pp. 65- 66. 65 Quoting Ruby Sherman‘s story in Francke, The Ambivalence of Abortion, p. 229. 66 A further example comes from the stories on an abortion clinic chain‘s website. The link to them says, ―Read women's stories to gain strength and connection.‖ It‘s pretty pathetic if this is the best they can come up with: "And now, 4 months later, I'm the one dealing with the emotional pain and he doesn't give a damn." ―Jillian‘s Story‖, Feminist Women‘s Health Center, http://www.fwhc.org/stories/jillian.htm (accessed 9/23/09). Another story ends with: "All I know is that I never want to go through what I went through ever again." 101 Reasons Not to Have an Abortion: A Girl‘s Guide to Informed Choices
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―Chris‘ Story,‖ Feminist Women‘s Health Center, http://www.fwhc.org/stories/chris3.htm (accessed 9/23/09). Of course, they do include stories that go on about being strong and empowered and feeling inspired and good about the choice…but they are the minority, not the majority. 67 Regarding presentations at high schools, Hern, Abortion Practice, p. 325. 68 Clark-Flory, ―The conversion of a pro-choice…‖ 69 FoxNews, ―Mike Huckabee interviews Ex-Planned-Parenthood employee…‖ Also used for my research was: CBN, ―Planned Parenthood Director Quits After…‖
Notes for Reason #8 70
Kissling and Michelman, ―Abortion's battle of messages,‖ p. 2. 71 Frances Kissling, ―Is there Life After Roe?‖ in Jacob, Abortion Under Attack, pp. 198-199. 72
It was difficult to find agreed upon dates for first seeing these things. Some reasons for the different dates are:
Newer research uses better technology.
Some research may not think to examine younger fetuses.
Some research may not be there to capture the moment.
The younger a fetus is the harder she is to see clearly.
Some news articles quoting something observed at a certain age may not be quoting the very earliest possible date.
73 Quoting Melanie Foster‘s story in Francke, The Ambivalence of Abortion, pp. 101-102 74 Sources vary from 6 weeks to 8 weeks.
6 weeks according to: Vaughan, How Life Begins, p. 207. (This source says that the fetus can arch is back and head at 6 weeks and that at 7 weeks arm, and leg movement can be detected.)
The Infant Mind, p. 94. (It does not explicitly say that this was observed with ultrasound but it appears so.)
In the Womb, p. 56. Note: obviously as time goes on movements become more coordinated – we are talking here about the very first movements — still something amazing. 75 Sources vary on agreement. One place says as early as 9 weeks while others say 13 weeks or more. Yüklə 4,63 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
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