Power Questions: Build Relationships, Win New Business, and Influence Others

life?”
Suggestions for How to Use This Question

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“What is the greatest achievement in your
life?”
This question has many levels to it. It contains the potential to create deep, multi-
layered conversations. It raises additional questions: Is it possible to define a single
greatest achievement? Do we mean professional achievement or in any sphere, such as
personal and family life? How do we define achievement, after all? It is a powerful
question that provokes deep thought and dialogue.
Even if the other person has difficulty citing a single experience, you will learn a
great deal about them. (And by the way, be prepared to answer this question yourself, as
it may get quickly turned around on you!)
When to use the question
When you want to deepen your relationship with someone and learn more about
what is important to them.
Alternative versions of the question
“What is your most personally gratifying achievement?”
“What is the one achievement you are proudest of?”
“In thinking about all of your achievements, which one do you think other people
will most remember, and why?”
Follow-up questions
“Say more about that. Why did you choose that particular one?”

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28
I Used to Be Indecisive—But Now I'm Not
Sure
The meeting drags on. (As opposed to what?) I keep looking at my watch.
Will it ever end? Tick tock.
This is a story this is quite likely familiar to you. You may even think I'm
describing one of your own recent meetings.
It's a planning session for a major new initiative.
Three people arrive 15 minutes late. The rest of us sit around waiting,
sipping coffee. The agenda is vague—“Discuss the ‘customer-first’
initiative launch.” It's not clear exactly what the goal of the session is.
The conversation is obscured by the posturing and opinionated speech-
making on the part of several of the participants. You know the type.
Shallow brooks that run loud.
I try to give some focus to the meeting. This is getting painful. “What are
we trying to accomplish?” I ask. I also ask the group questions such as
“How will this impact your existing customers?”
The PowerPoint slides go up and down on the screen, like scaffolding
that's being assembled, torn down, and reassembled again. I'm thinking:
Why do people put slides up and then read them to you? Why does every
thought produced in a corporation have to be laid out in a PowerPoint slide?
Our session ends at noon (mercifully, it was scheduled for only three
hours). Someone says, “Let's make a list of next steps.” Everyone nods. A
sound idea. Isn't it good management practice to conclude every meeting
with a list of to-dos?
The next steps all seem eminently practical. Cathy will call Bill to check
on something-or-another. Roger will try and get so-and-so to support the
program. Fred agrees to write up detailed meeting notes. Finally, I interrupt.
“May I ask a question?” Everyone nods again.

---

“What have we decided today?”
Hmmm. They look at me earnestly. “What do you mean?” one of them
asks.
“I mean, what exactly did we decide? This was a planning session to help
shape and structure a new initiative. So what did we decide? Can we make a
list of those things—and then move to the to-dos?”
We make a list of five issues where we thought we had made decisions.
Then we go around the table. We check for consensus.
It turns out there is no agreement about three of the five points. None at
all. And one of those three points is about just what the primary goal of the
program is! The problem is that corporate leadership kept talking about
multiple goals when they announced the program. “Improve customer
retention, cross sell more products, pre-empt the competition,” and on and
on.
Prioritizing these goals is essential to implementation. This is what I have
to get across to the group.
We are making a list of kitchen utensils to buy but have neglected to put
the floor and walls of the kitchen itself in place. No, it's worse. We're
building a kitchen but aren't sure if it's meant for occasional cooking or to
service 100 diners a day in a restaurant.
I tell them we still have work to do. We haven't focused on the real issues.
We stay for another hour and a half, and finally have the real conversation
we came together for.
We are now ready to leave the meeting. There is a list of the decisions
discussed and agreed on. We are clear on the highest-priority goals. The
action steps are there, too. But they are secondary to the decisions made and
a reaffirmation of purpose.
Any group can make a list of next steps after a meeting. Decisiveness is
rarer. And far more valuable.
Start creating a culture of decisiveness. Before you begin each
meeting, ask, “What decisions do we need to make today?” After
every meeting, ask: “What have we decided today?”