Power Questions: Build Relationships, Win New Business, and Influence Others

Suggestions for How to Use This Question
“Why do you want to do that?”
“Why?” can be a terrible question if used at the wrong time and for the wrong issue. It
can communicate underlying disapproval. It can sound critical, carping, and nagging. It
can make the other person feel bad about themselves.
“Why?” can also be a powerful question. It can make others think more deeply about
what they are doing, and help them get to the heart of the issue. “Why?” can make us
stop, reflect, and examine our actions instead of just mechanically going about our lives.
Use careful judgment in asking “Why?” but ask it often.
When to use the question
When you genuinely want to understand someone's motivations.
When the other person wants something but you're not sure they really need it.
When you are trying to understand what are the root causes of a problem.
Alternative versions of the question
“What result are you expecting from that?”
“How did you decide to take that approach?”
“Why do you think you should start there?”
Follow-up questions

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“Why is that?”
“Why do you think that's happening?”
“How do you know that?”

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27
Always Faithful
I want to tell you about one of the most remarkable men I have ever known.
I'll give you the short version.
Thomas S. Monaghan is the founder of Domino's Pizza. He began in a
room not much larger than most bedroom closets—a room 13 feet at its
widest.
That was in 1960. The company grew from that one shop to more than
6,250 locations and 130,000 employees. He sold the company in 1998.
Domino's was privately owned by Tom and his family, so the exact
amount they received in the sale is not public information. But I can tell you
it was around a billion dollars.
He decided to sell so he could start a second career as a philanthropist. “I
want to give it all away before I die,” he said to me one day. (He's been
pretty successful at that already. He figures he has given away somewhere
between $700 to $800 million thus far.)
But this isn't the story about the fastest growing chain in the history of the
United States at that time. That is another chapter for another time.
I want to tell you more about this extraordinary man. We're having dinner
at his favorite restaurant. (No, we're not eating pizza!)
Tom is. . .well, Tom is what some would say a bit fussy about his food.
No sauce on the fish, no starch, vegetables boiled with no butter or oil. His
doctor says he'll live to be 100. Knowing Tom and his habits, I would bet on
it.
He grew up in an orphanage. At the age of six, his greatest influence was
Sister Berardo, one of the nuns at the orphanage. She said to him repeatedly
during the day: “Tommy, be good, be the best you can be. Tommy, be good,
be the best you can be.” He has spent his life since then following that
dictum. To be good and to do good.

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In our many visits, I've probed and prodded. Tom is my hero. I've asked
plenty of questions. I'll give you just a very small example of something I
find interesting.
I've never seen Tom not wearing a suit. Always a green inner lining in the
jacket. Almost always a green tie. (Well sure, of course: Monaghan. He's
Irish.) I figure he gets up in the morning and showers with his suit on. One
day I ask why he always wears a suit.
You need to know Tom is one of the most disciplined men you will ever
meet. He lives by the code, by the book. His code, his book.
Back to the suit. He tells me that if you dress properly, you think properly.
You act properly. You make better decisions. He tells me there is scientific
proof. He had a dress code in his office of several hundred senior staff.
Suits every day (no, they didn't need to have green linings). No sports
jackets, no blazers. And a dress code for the women executives as well.
His business life and his philanthropic life have known peaks and some
deep valleys. “In all the time I've known you, Tom, I've never seen you
show any stress, no matter what the problem or challenge. How is that
possible?”
“The only stress I know is when I'm lying on the couch and I realize the
grass keeps growing and needs cutting. I credit my even mental attitude to
prayer and exercise.”
Would you like to know more about Tom? I think I'll write a book!
But first let me tell you about a question I ask him on this visit. His
response is the most surprising I could possibly imagine. Totally
unexpected. I find it absolutely amazing.
I ask Tom the same question I ask folks quite often: What is the greatest
achievement in your life? It's truly a power question that always opens the
mind and exposes the spirit of a person. It unlocks the prison of memories.
Are you ready for an answer you would never guess?
“Tom, what is the greatest achievement in your life?”
I expect him to tell me about starting what becomes the largest pizza
chain in the world. No, that isn't it.
Or building and funding Ave Maria University, a great Catholic
institution. And creating and supporting the Ave Maria School of Law. No,
that isn't it.

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Or how about his purchase of the Detroit Tigers and winning the World
Series? That would be an extraordinary achievement. But that isn't it.
Or coming up with the idea of Legatus (Latin for Ambassador). This is
the largest Catholic organization in the world for power leaders and CEOs
of corporations. The group is committed to studying, living, and spreading
the Catholic faith. That alone would gain him admission to anyone's hall of
fame. But that isn't it either.
Reader, you will be surprised. I was, and I thought I knew Tom. Are you
ready for his answer?
“Tom, what is the greatest achievement in your life?” I ask him.
“It was the day I applied to and was accepted in the Marine Corps. That
was my greatest achievement.”
“What?! Tom, of everything you have achieved in life, it's serving in the
Marine Corps?”
“Yes. It taught me character, discipline, and values. It changed my life.”
From there we spend the next 30 minutes talking about his life-changing
experiences in the Marines.
The Marine Corps motto is Semper Fidelis (Always Faithful). It seems to
be ingrained in all who serve in this elite group. There is a life-long
dedication and loyalty, a fraternity of comradeship that Marines have for the
Corps and their country.
Do not be surprised if you get a totally unexpected response when you
ask this question. That's because you will uncover the unfiltered psyche of
the person you're talking with. You can count on that.
Oh, just a bit of unrelated trivia. You've seen the logo of Domino's. You
have perhaps asked as I have—why two dots on one side and one on the
other side of the domino? When Tom had just three shops, he asked an artist
to design a logo. The three dots stand for the three shops that existed at the
time. It continues to be the logo through all the years of growth.
To understand someone's inner being and learn what has been most
important to them, ask: “What is the greatest achievement in your