Power Questions: Build Relationships, Win New Business, and Influence Others

Suggestions for How to Use This Question

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“What have we decided today?”
In many organizations, procrastination rules. (“I would do something about my
procrastination—but I can't get around to it!”)
People are afraid to make decisions. They are concerned about upsetting powerful,
established interests. It's easier to play it safe than make a decision for which you may
ultimately be accountable. Creating a list of benign action steps, which don't really take
you anywhere important, is easy and low risk.
When you make decisions together, it binds the group with a public affirmation. The
result is firm commitment to follow through on agreed action steps.
When to use the question
After any meeting.
After discussing an important issue with a family member or friend. (“So, have
we decided anything?” or, “What have you decided to do?”)
Alternative versions of the question
When someone comes to you with a problem or issue: “Is there a decision that I
need to make or that I can help you make?”
At the start of a meeting: “What is the purpose of this meeting?” or, “What
decisions do we want to make today?”
Follow-up questions
“What is needed in order for a decision to be made on this?”
“Do we all agree about that?”

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29
Blah Blah Blah
I have a dilemma.
Here's my problem. It's driving me crazy. I want to win the business. But I
know deep down it's going to give me plenty of trouble. “The juice isn't
worth the squeeze,” as they say.
I'm discussing a project with a potential client who wants to control every
aspect of my work. He wants to see excruciating detail for every
methodology I mention. He wants to see my entire speech in advance. He
insists he check the types of PowerPoint slides I will bring to the workshop
with his people. There's a question about the precise percentage of expected
group participation.
I am struggling with how to respond to his never-ending requests and
directives.
I want the contract. But my gut tells me to run in the opposite direction.
I'm getting more upset by the minute.
There's an expression in Italy, Si vede il buon giorno dalla mattina. (You
can tell what kind of day it will be from the morning.) In other words,
things often end the way they start. And this is not a good start.
I decide to consult my friend and mentor, author Alan Weiss. Alan is
unusually skilled at parsing the issues and getting right to the point. He goes
to the heart of things in a way that can border on brusqueness. It is
sometimes painful but always liberating.
I call Alan. “I have a question I need to ask you.”
“Okay, go ahead.” There is no small talk. Alan gets right down to
business.
“I have this prospective client. He's a senior executive with a large
corporation in Chicago. It could be a very large contract. They are

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embarking on an ambitious program to drive revenue growth and create a
more profit-oriented culture.”
I continue on, giving more and more background on the client. “And
furthermore, he wants to schedule call after call with me—including on
weekends!”
I feel it's important to describe all this to Alan. No, essential! How can he
possibly understand my problem, and give me suitable advice, without
hearing the full context? I go on for several more minutes.
“Can I interrupt?” Alan asks.
“Of course,” I tell him.
“What's your question?”
My flow is interrupted. I have plenty more information I still want to give
Alan.
“Well, you see, this guy is feeling ownership of this program, and. . .” I
start to restate the background information I know is critical to arriving at
the right options.
Alan interrupts me again:
“What's your question? Five minutes ago you said you had a question.
What is it?”
I'm beginning to squirm.
“The question? Hmm.” I pause and think. “Okay, how do I deal with a
client who is over-controlling and trying to micromanage me?” Alan
chuckles.
“I knew there must be a question! Look, you don't tell them how to write
the software that they sell to clients. And they shouldn't tell you how to
consult. That's what you are an expert at. You should tell your client that
when you buy a Mercedes car you don't go into the showroom and insist
that you fly to Germany to inspect the assembly line and make suggestions
for how to manufacture your car. Mercedes is a great brand. You must trust
the final product will meet high expectations.
“Similarly, tell them, ‘you want to hire me because of my expertise,
experience, and reputation in the marketplace. I have many years of
experience at tackling similar problems, and you need to let me design this
program in a way that will be most effective for you.’”
“Oh,” is all I can muster.

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“Are you still there?” Alan asks. “Does that answer your question?”
“Uh, yes, that's terrific. Thanks.”
“You're welcome. Anything else?”
“No, this is very helpful.”
“Call anytime.”
I wanted to give Alan all the background on my problem—five or 10
minutes’ worth. But in truth, most of it would have been unnecessary. I
could have simply called up and said, “Here's my question.” If Alan needed
more information, he would then ask for it.
It probably happens to you often. A person says, “I want to ask you
something.” Then, they proceed to spend 10 minutes telling you every
detail of a very convoluted situation they are enmeshed in. You do yourself
and the other person a favor by getting them to focus on the true kernel of
their issue. Simply ask: “What is your question?”
This question creates a powerful clarification for the other person. It's a
bright yellow ray of morning sun that cuts through the fog.
When someone approaches you for advice and is vague or starts to
give you too much background information, ask: “What's your