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Hurt people hurt other people
The way people act towards the outside world illustrates what’s going on in
their inner world. When someone attempts to make you feel inadequate, it’s
because they feel inadequate themselves. Understanding this will help you
handle related situations more effectively.
For example, sadness makes people act bitterly and without love; pain and
internal suffering claw us into a low vibration. It causes a domino effect of
hurt, because all too often people aren’t in a good mood because they’ve been
hurt by someone else who wasn’t in a good mood. These newly hurt people
then hurt other people, and on it goes.
But trying to heal pain by inflicting it on others doesn’t work. The Indian
guru and spiritual teacher Osho once likened this to banging on a wall. His
view was that attacking others to relive your pain is like someone being angry
and then taking it all out on a wall, trying to cause it damage. They don’t
define the wall and the wall doesn’t have the problem – they do. Eventually
they’ll end up more hurt, even though the wall has not hurt them itself.
Disliking difference
People tend to feel drawn towards individuals who resemble them in some
way. This is demonstrated by a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP)
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technique called mirroring, which shows that mimicking an individual’s
behaviours encourages them to like you.
So, if you’re generally loud, bubbly and full of life, and you come across
someone similar, you’d probably think they’re pretty cool. And if their
speech patterns, body language and tone are similar to yours, you might
think, ‘You know what, there’s something about this person I really like.’
That’s because they’re just like you.
We can also assume the opposite to be true: people tend not to feel an affinity
with individuals who are different from them. And someone different from
you might think you come across as a bit strange or ‘out there’. Ultimately,
they won’t understand you, or want to understand you, because your energy
doesn’t match theirs.