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Being there for others
Earlier, I wrote about the importance of being around people who are in a
more positive mood than you, vibrating higher, if you want to feel good. This
is often a great solution, but can, naturally, have a downside for those with
the higher vibration. They may find that when they’re there for someone who
isn’t feeling great, they find it difficult to remain stable in their own
emotional state. Spending time with someone who’s searching for higher
vibes can pull them down.
You may feel like this when a friend explains all their troubles to you and
sadness suddenly spreads through your body. It’s catching. I learned this
lesson at university when a flatmate of mine was feeling low after being
heartbroken by a girlfriend who’d ended their relationship. One night while
we were out with friends, he went back to the flat early, distraught about the
break-up. The girl who he was heartbroken over became extremely worried
from the texts he was sending her that he’d do something to harm himself.
She let us know so we could check on him.
When my friends and I got back to the flat, his door was locked and his music
was turned up loud. We kept knocking on his door, but he wouldn’t let us in.
We started to panic and called the caretaker, who had a spare key to his room.
As we entered, we saw him curled up in bed with tears running down his
face. We took a closer look at his wrists and saw the marks of what appeared
to be self-inflicted cuts. In that moment, we realized that he was so low that
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he wanted to end his life. Fortunately, our entrance interrupted his
desperation and we were able to console him.
Over the next few days, there was a very strange vibe in our flat. Everyone
was shaken. The flatmate who’d attempted to take his own life didn’t say
much about the incident, but he did want to spend time with me. I spent my
evenings with him, offering support and trying to offer gentle advice to make
him feel better.
But after a while, I realized that I didn’t feel like my normal self; I was
starting to feel really down. I realized that as much as I wanted to be there for
him, I had to think about myself, too. I felt empty, and I couldn’t pour from
an empty cup.
Before you try to fix someone
else’s vibe, make sure you’re not
killing your own in the process.
Protect your own energy first.
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I created some distance between us for a while, keeping our interactions to a
minimum. Inside, I was punishing myself for not being there for him more; I
felt that I had to be God-like and simply accept it. However, I was already
torn apart and I knew that unless I felt good in myself, I just wouldn’t be able
to offer him proper support. I’d feel hypocritical for offering comfort when I
was distraught myself.
He seemed to be doing okay and this gave me a little peace of mind.
Eventually, I was able to get my vibration up and be there for him more
effectively.
This was many years ago and since then a lot has changed. For one, I have a
much greater depth of awareness and understanding. I’m fortunate to be in
the position where many thousands of people feel they can share their
problems with me, but because of what I’ve learned I can now keep my
vibration steady, even if someone else’s vibration is very low. There are
exceptions and I’m still careful to protect my energy from people who want
to drain it or abuse my willingness to help them.
If my emotional state isn’t high enough
to start with, I know that by trying to
help someone who is feeling low, I may
suffer a profound emotional impact.
If you’re listening to someone ranting on about how troublesome their life is
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and you’re not feeling great yourself, you could be heading for a major
energy drain. Although lending an ear can be helpful, increasing the number
of unhappy people in the world doesn’t benefit anyone.
The wisest thing for you to do in this situation is to change your state by
vibrating as high as you can. This is how you protect your own vibration. By
doing this, you build the strength needed to help others.
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