Emotional

 
 
“It is better to sleep on things beforehand than lie awake about them afterwards.” 
- Baltasar Gracián, Spanish philosopher 
 
 
 
 
 

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5 
Emotional Bank Account and Hijacking 
Emotional Bank Account (EBA): 
Coined by Dr. Stephen Covey, EBA is a metaphor to describe the amount of trust that has 
been built in a relationship. 

You can deposit into someone’s EBA with positive behavior, such as: 
o
o
o
o

You can withdraw from someone’s EBA with negative behaviors that diminish 
trust and lead to a “bankrupt” or failed relationship 
o
o
o
o
 
Emotional Hijacking: 
Daniel Goleman describes Emotional Hijacking in his book ‘Emotional Intelligence: “Why it 
Matters More than IQ” as a state when our emotions control our behavior and we act 
without thinking. An overwhelming emotional response occurs with a later realization that 
the response was inappropriately strong given the trigger or situation. It is usually referred 
to in the context of aggression or fearfulness. 
 
Further resources: 
o 
http://lifepsychologyandalotmore.blogspot.com/2008/11/emotional-hijacking.html
 
o 
http://www.gostrengths.com/what-is-an-amygdala-hijack/
 
 
 
Stop, Challenge, & Choose 
Larry & Hersche Wilson in “Play to Win” 
 
1. Stop. Do not act or react, just breathe, try and disconnect from the situation 
2. Challenge. Challenge yourself, your assumptions and your emotions.  
a. What are you making up? 
b. Is there more to this situation than you know? 
c. More information that you need? 
3. Choose. Choose your response wisely, think it through and choose a response that does 
not cause undue hardship to the relationship. 
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