Games People Play

CHAPTER FOUR 
Pastimes 
PASTIMES occur in social and temporal matrices of varying degrees of complexity, and hence 
vary in complexity. However, if we use the transaction as the unit of social intercourse, we can 
dissect out of appropriate situations an entity which may be called a simple pastime. This may be 
defined as a series of semi-ritualistic, simple, complementary transactions arranged around a single 
field of material, whose primary object is to structure an interval of time. The beginning and end of 
the interval are typically signaled by procedures or rituals. The transactions are adaptively 
programmed so that each party will obtain the maximum gains or advantages during the interval. 
The better his adaptation, the more he will get out of it. 
Pastimes are typically played at parties ("social gatherings") or during the waiting period before a 
formal group meeting begins; such waiting periods before a meeting "begins" have the same 
structure and dynamics as "parries." Pastimes may take the form described as "chit-chat" or they 
may become more serious, e.g., argumentative. A large cocktail party often functions as a kind of 
gallery for the exhibition of pastimes. In one corner of the room a few people are playing "PTA," 
another corner is the forum for "Psychiatry," a third is the theater for "Ever Been" or "What 
Became," the fourth is engaged for "General Motors," and the buffet is reserved for women who 
want to play "Kitchen" or "Wardrobe." The proceedings at such a gathering may be almost identical, 
with a change of names here and there, with the proceedings at a dozen similar parties taking place 
simultaneously in the area. At another dozen in a different social stratum, a different assortment of 
pastimes is underway. 
Pastimes may be classified in different ways. The external determinants are sociological (sex, age, 
marital status, cultural, racial or economic). "General Motors" (comparing cars) and "Who Won" 
16

---

(sports) are both "Man Talk." "Grocery," "Kitchen," and "Wardrobe" are all "Lady Talk" —or, as 
practiced in the South Seas, "Mary Talk." "Making Out" is adolescent, while the onset of middle 
age is marked by a shift to "Balance Sheet." Other species of this class, which are all variations of 
"Small Talk," are: "How To" (go about doing something), an easy filler for short airplane trips; 
"How Much" (does it cost), a favorite in lower-middle-class bars; "Ever Been (to some nostalgic 
place), a middle-class game for "old hands" such as salesmen; "Do You Know" (so-and-so) for 
lonely ones; "What Became" (of good old Joe), often played by economic successes and failures; 
"Morning After" (what a hangover) and "Martini" (I know a better way), typical of a certain kind of 
ambitious young person. 
The structural-transactional classification is a more personal one. Thus "PTA" may be played at 
three levels. At the Child-Child level it takes the form of "How Do You Deal with Recalcitrant 
Parents"; its Adult-Adult form, "PTA" proper, is popular among well-read young mothers; with 
older people it tends to take the dogmatic Parent-Parent form of "Juvenile Delinquency." Some 
married couples play "Tell Them Dear," in which the wife is Parental and the husband comes 
through like a precocious child. "Look Ma No Hands" is similarly a Child-Parent pastime suitable 
for people of any age, sometimes diffidently adapted into "Aw Shucks Fellows." 
Even more cogent is the psychological classification of pastimes. Both "PTA" and "Psychiatry" for 
example, may be played in either projective or introjective forms. The analysis of "PTA",
Projective Type is represented in Figure 6A, based on the following Parent-Parent paradigm: